Krabo wrote:
jrjones9933 wrote:
I think a lot depends on the intent of both parties, and the level of understanding and agreement. Where we can measure this kind of thing, result indicate it's possible for people to help each other, but it can also hurt the intended recipient. I guess I've been on both sides with both results, and can easily think of an example of each of the four cases.
(a) I want to improve my skills, and someone teaches me how.
(b) Someone has a wish for me which I don't share, and tries to help by bending me to their will.
(c) I surmise correctly how to solve a problem someone else has, and they apply the solution to good effect.
(d) I try to explain to bigots how their views make no sense and harm people.
One can find examples of each on a larger scale in the context of international aid. Many humanitarian agencies have covered up their mistakes in the past, and some continue to do so, but I have noticed a trend toward greater disclosure. The scientific method works, so I have hope.
Which one of the four cases (a) to (d) is materializing right here, in front of our eyes? Is it (a), you teaching me that helping is possible? Is it (b), you hammering into my head the idea that helping is possible? It certainly isn't (c) beacuse I wouldn't be applying anything. I'm forced to admit that it could be (d) because I'm not omniscient no matter how much I wish I was.
I'd say my reply just contains what was on my mind at the time. I don't consider the question settled, but I find the research about altruism interesting.
Right now, it's that my housemate told me she bought me a beer to thank me for letting her use my car. She didn't tell me it was a big beer! I had a very pleasant surprise when I got home from work.
Mines the kind that comes in various shades of red.
_________________
"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade