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Jakki
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23 Jun 2022, 10:04 am

Edna3362 wrote:
It is unknown how much trauma I actually have.

Either I have it and expressed it differently and subtly and it's largely untreated and it's getting worse.
Or actually don't and have it really lucky at that aspect and I'm just aging badly and too soon...

If and if I actually have it bad in usual cases of AS, then...
Where's the nightmares?
Where's the chronic anxiety?
Where's the worrying and fear??
Where's the need for assurance and insecurity??
Where's the loneliness and isolation?

I know how to summon inner voices, both negative and positive. It's just getting negative.
The subtle issues came first before the blatant negativity. It's just that I know how to forgive myself at anyturn, but enough is enough. :x

All I get is bouts of inappropriate anger I've been fighting since I was 5 or so.
It's what made me a pessimist for most part and I don't know where it came from.
It's not like I ever hid that fact from anyone, and anyone well read enough would see it from a mile away.

And I just grow more overwhelmed, unreliable and confused.
It's not even about changes anymore -- my responsibilities didn't changed much -- it was even lighter now!..


“Thank you Edna for still being here “……..I get about massive extended trauma on various levels ….a lot of what you wrote here I can relate to my ptsd ,starting all the back in the crib,brought upon by a immediate relative.and it goes on and on from there. (And yes my memory is intact.). :nerdy:


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Matrix Glitch
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23 Jun 2022, 11:39 am

I usually stay up too late.



auntblabby
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24 Jun 2022, 5:04 am

^^^mee too.



Dillogic
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25 Jun 2022, 1:00 am

Me three. Even when I don't have insomnia, I'll be up to 3 a.m most nights. I'll wake up at 6-8 a.m. depending. Insomnia for me just means I don't sleep.

I have periods of hypersomnia, but that, like insomnia, isn't the norm for me.



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25 Jun 2022, 1:04 am

There's going to be a lot of change in my life between now and late September.
After that, things can go as they will.


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auntblabby
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25 Jun 2022, 1:31 am

i got @#$%! ! jury duty next month, GD it. :x



Jakki
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25 Jun 2022, 6:28 pm

I am pretty sure when I pass , I will not miss this life . :oops: :|


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25 Jun 2022, 6:38 pm

My name is etched into steel at the very top of the CN Tower in Toronto.
When they built it they brought the uppermost piece to a few schools around Canada.
Kids got to sign it with a laser.
I guess it may have worn off from the elements but I like to picture it's up there.


Image


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auntblabby
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26 Jun 2022, 5:27 am

i love jazz played on the pedal harp.



Jakki
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26 Jun 2022, 1:06 pm

Do not trust..Most medical personnel, in spite of having been one,years ago .


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IsabellaLinton
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26 Jun 2022, 1:08 pm

I worked in a factory making eyeglass lenses one summer.


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26 Jun 2022, 10:08 pm

i used to work for Hot Sam, making and selling hot soft pretzels.



IsabellaLinton
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26 Jun 2022, 10:12 pm

I taught a whole class of 4th graders how to put a tampon in a long-necked bottle full of tomato juice.
Boys and girls alike.


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HeroOfHyrule
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26 Jun 2022, 10:24 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I taught a whole class of 4th graders how to put a tampon in a long-necked bottle full of tomato juice.
Boys and girls alike.

I wish putting in a tampon was that easy... lol

In the 5th grade our teachers just showed the AFAB kids how to put a pad in our underwear.



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26 Jun 2022, 10:28 pm

If I was a woman I'd be a lesbian. :jester:



IsabellaLinton
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26 Jun 2022, 10:37 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I taught a whole class of 4th graders how to put a tampon in a long-necked bottle full of tomato juice.
Boys and girls alike.

I wish putting in a tampon was that easy... lol

In the 5th grade our teachers just showed the AFAB kids how to put a pad in our underwear.



I had to choose between teaching Menstruation or "Trees".

I went with what I knew.


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