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funeralxempire
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19 Jul 2024, 11:02 pm

Santa gave up on bringing me presents when I was 6.

When I was three I asked for a traffic light, I got coloured flash lights.
When I was four I asked for a hot spring, I got foaming bath beads.
When I was five I asked for a professional sumo wrestler, I got an inflatable sumo costume.
When I was six I asked for a mountain, I got a letter that said WTF is wrong with you kid?! I'm out. Good luck in life.

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I was ashamed of myself when I realised life was a costume party and I attended with my real face
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell

DuckHairback
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20 Jul 2024, 5:40 am

Amazon's new series set in the Lord of the Rings universe follows the adventures of Ghastlynuts the Grey, Drongo Dribblerag and Todger the Dwarf as they traverse Middle Earth with their touring exhibition darts show.

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babybird
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20 Jul 2024, 6:52 am

Seen it

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Cornflake
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20 Jul 2024, 11:23 am

Coffee beans grow on cars.

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babybird
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20 Jul 2024, 11:43 am

It's the middle of the night here

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Cornflake
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20 Jul 2024, 5:07 pm

This text is invisible. But this isn't.

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naturalplastic
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20 Jul 2024, 5:11 pm

funeralxempire wrote:

But he resumed giving you presents a few years later?

https://youtu.be/ydcUaTpiHgQ

DuckHairback
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20 Jul 2024, 5:23 pm

During the 2012 Olympics in London there were 74 recorded cases of real police officers being mistakenly arrested for impersonating a police officer. In 9 of those cases, both of the officers involved tried to arrest the other officer on the same charge.

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CockneyRebel
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20 Jul 2024, 6:55 pm

I sleep in a snake pit every night.

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21 Jul 2024, 8:03 am

My fins have nice green speckles.

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DuckHairback
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21 Jul 2024, 4:06 pm

I have a pierced brosnan.

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DuckHairback
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22 Jul 2024, 5:45 pm

Before ice-cream was invented, ice-cream cones were simply known as 'cones'.

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utterly absurd
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22 Jul 2024, 6:06 pm

When ice cream was first invented, it was sold by banks, so no one could eat it on Sundays or holidays. The first person to sell ice cream on a Sunday was Libliblia Bugbert, best known for her typos, who opened a store called Ice Cream Sundaes.

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funeralxempire
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22 Jul 2024, 8:58 pm

DuckHairback wrote:

I would never watch that show.
And I certainly wouldn't pirate it. :nerdy:

IsabellaLinton
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22 Jul 2024, 9:04 pm

Did someone not say pirate??

I'm cool as a cucumber, not stressed out whatsoever.

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funeralxempire
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22 Jul 2024, 9:47 pm

I'm not actually autistic, just intermittently stupid and with adequate manning up I will no longer have any issues socially, with executive function, emotional control, etc.

Also, I'm a wild and crazy party animal like Suds McDuff.

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