Your Favourite Simpsons Quotes

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""Homer: "Die? Well, you don't scare me doc. 'Cause dying would be a stone groove. Got any messages for Jimi Hendrix?"
Doctor: "Yes: Pick up your puppy!" (Indicates an ancient hound-dog named "Rover Hendrix")""

Dr. Riviera: "Now Homer, this shot will make the operation feel like a beauuutiful dream"

*knocks Homer out cold and puts the shot into his own arm*

Dr. Riviera: "Ahhhhhhh...mmm.."

Last edited by ImTheGuyThatDidThat on 27 Aug 2008, 9:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Smithers: "As one of Mr. Burns`s closest friends, i am sure there is nothing
he wants more then swift and brutal revenge over Homer Simpson. Therefor
i will put out a $50,000 reward on his head"




oh-oh

so someone has probably quoted and corrected that Ralph line but anywho...

Ralph: That's my sandbox. I'm not aloud in the deep end. [Pointing at rock near sandbox] That's where I met the leprechaun... he tells me to burn things.

there are too many to choose one so here's my short list

Flanders: [In shock] Not baptized!?! [Emits efeminate gasp and faints] [Waking in respone to whatever Maude waved under his nose] Nope! That ain't gonna do it. [faints again]

Smithers:[irritated] Can a man not walk down the street without being offered a job?

Homer: [Leering at babysitter's bottom] precious Venus. [Drools and consumes gummy.Yelling after babysitter with mouth still half full of gummy Venus De Milo] Thank you.

Computerized image and voice of Mr. Burns: Hello Smithers. [In stacatto speech pattern] You're quite good at turning me on
Smithers:[Looking at Lisa bashfully] You should probably ignore that.

Bart: Heel-toe, heel-toe, heel-toe
Lisa: Do you really believe I could win this?
Bart: Hey I'm starting to believe I could win it myself.

Bart and Milhouse: [jumping on Marge and Homer's bed in high heels and Marge's dresses singing] Sisters are doing it for themselves

Homer: Good news everybody, I had a fight with the garbagemen and they're cutting off our service.
Lisa: [unimpressed] Dad is this one of those things that can be solved with a simple apology?

Lisa:[Sees bart praiying through a crack in his door] Prayer... the last refuge of the damned.

Homer:[Making drooling noisess]
Lisa: Now what's the equivalent for [mimics Homer, eyes widen as she experiences an "Aha!" moment. Reading aloud as she types] Bon Apetit.

Bart: [staggering drunkenly] What're you looking at? [hiccups]

Homer: [Surprised] Hmm... he came to life. Good for him.

Marge: "Do you want your son to become Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or a sleazy male stripper?"
Homer: "Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren?"
Marge: "Earl Warren wasn't a stripper!"
Homer: "Now who's being naïve? "


Mrs. Winfield: "My husband and I have decided to move."
Homer: "You're going to run out the clock in Florida, eh?"
Mrs. Winfield: "Well, yes. There's a few things you could do to help us sell our house. First, whenever you walk in front of your windows, could you please wear pants?"
Homer: "Mmm... no."
Mrs. Winfield: "Second, could you please take away your old jack-o-lanterns from past Halloweens?"
Homer: "Mmm... no."
Mrs. Winfield: "And can you please cover your garbage? It's attracting wildlife!"
(Homer sees a moose eating his garbage.)
Homer: "Hey, what? Hey, moose, shoo! Yeah, I'm talking to you! Get off my lawn! Stop!"


Homer: "SHUT UP YOU LITTLE MONSTERS!! !" (to the phone) "I was wondering if you'd like to babysit my little angels."
Woman: "I'm sorry, this isn't Abby. This is her sister. I look after her now."
Abby (Rocking in a chair, mumbling): "No, Bart...put it down...put it down, Bart...put it down..."


Bart: "Nothing you say can upset us. We're the MTV generation."
Lisa: "We feel neither highs or lows."
Homer: "Really? What's it like?"
Lisa: "Meh."

Homer: "Stupid.....as a fox!!"

Burns:

"Look at him, struttin` around like he`s the cock of the walk..
Well, let me tell you this, Homer Simpson is the cock of nothing!! !"

"My cat's breath smells like cat-food!" - Ralph Wiggum.

Two of my favourites.

Other great ones:

School counsellor: Dark Stanley's gonna eat me!
(that whole episode was brilliant)

Homer: Marge, since you've been seeing a psychiatrist, all you ever talk about is yourself.
Marge: I've just come out of my first session and I haven't even opened my mouth yet
Homer: "I've just come out of my first session and I haven't even opened my mouth yet"

Ralph: Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent.
Miss Hoover: Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?
Ralph: He was going to the bathroom.

Ralph: When I grow up, I wanna be a principal, or a caterpillar!

Last edited by Kajjie on 31 Aug 2008, 8:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

Homer: "See, I got this friend named...Joey Jo-Jo...Junior...Shabadoo..."
Moe: "That's the worst name I ever heard."
[A man leaves, weeping]
Barney: "Hey! Joey Jo-Jo!"

Homer: "Who are you?"
Newton: "Homer, I'm your guardian angel. I've assumed the form of someone you'd recognize and revere: Sir Isaac Newton."
Homer: "Sir Isa-who?"
Newton: "Oh, very well." [transforms himself]
Homer: [gasps] "Colonel Klink! Did you ever get my letters?"
Klink: "I'm not actually Colonel Klink, I'm just assuming his form."
Homer: "Hee hee hee! Did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp?"

Homer: "Oh, this is the worst crisis my marriage has ever faced! Colonel Klink, why have you forsaken me?"
[Klink materializes]
Klink: "What is it? You have a question?"
Homer: "Heh heh! Did you know Kinch had a radio in the coffee pot?"
Klink: "He did?!"

Homer: [reads writing on his palm] "'Mindy, because of our uncontrollable attraction, I think we should avoid each other from now on.'"
Lenny: [reads writing on his own palm] "'Max, what I did, I did because of alcohol and anger.'"
Man: [reads writing on his own large palm] "'I am tired of these jokes about my giant hand. The first such incidents occurred in 1956, when...'"

Smithers: "Sir, I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die."

Homer: "From now on, there's three ways to do things- the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!"
Bart: "Isn't that the wrong way?"
Homer: "Yeah, but faster!"

Homer (to Billy Corgan): "Thanks to your gloomy music, my kids have stopped dreaming of a future I can't possibly provide."

Lisa: "I can't believe I helped that horrible old man!"
Homer: "Well, I hope you learned your lesson Lisa. Never help anybody."

yep! Lol.

Homer
"Gyme, whats a gyme?" he walks into a gym.... "Ohhh, a gyme!"

love this thread.

Kent Brockman: In Other news the bowling alley is open again teetering over (insert mine name here)

a random smattering of Homer:

'I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T!'

'Homer no function beer well without'

'Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?'

Lisa: It's wrong to reward competitive violence. However I will sit up front with you if it's an expression of fatherly love.
Homer: Fine. (Lisa gets in car) Sucker! Competitive violence, that's why you're here!

'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'

'Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.'

(using hand to search under couch): Eew, slimy! Ooow, pointy! Uh-oh, moving!

'It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.'

'Kill my boss?!? Do I dare live out the American dream?'

(singing)
When I was 17
I drank some very good beer
I drank some very good beer, that I purchased, with a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was 17

I'm stuck, and I have to pee!...now I'm just stuck

Bed goes up, bed goes down, bed goes up....

'na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Fishing!'

Linal Hutz "Just replace accidently with repeatedly... and dog with son."

Homer "Kiss MY asphualt"

Homer: (At answering machine) We didn't have a message when we left, how very odd!

----

Homer: Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids, eat them!