That I had always been aspiring to be free from internal crap I've been dealing.
That I was right.
And maybe...
If I'm done with the crap...
I will be free.
And when I'm free... I will choose to outgrow the need to say stuff about it to the world or to anyone.
Yes, yes, I'm a human and that life has ups and downs, blah blah blah.
But I am just so, so sick of it, you know?
I want my life stop being about coping and ranting over the same things over and over.
And if I want ups and downs, I want it not about the same crap; not about the chronic sneezing shite, not about "autism" or "being autistic", not about having the nuisances of being born female...
That I promised to myself even to my Sped teacher; that I want it to be over when I'm 30.
I'm turning 30 in about a month and few weeks.
And maybe that's even my wish; all of this crap about "me" -- done by the time I turn 30.