WP Addicts Anonymous

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You cling to the stories that give you identity because you are afraid to abandon the false 'safety' that the identity gives you, and so spin more and more stories in the belief that the identity is you.

^ I'm glad that someone gets it.

^I'm reading a book about the Tree of Life and all the different pathways. Here's a fun fact: Tifa Lockheart from Final Fantasy VII is named after the Tiphareth part of the Tree of Life, the part about balance, soul, and connected to the Sun.

One part of the Tiphareth is about sacrifice. Sacrificing everything for everyone may sound noble, but it ultimately seems martyr-like, unhealthily so. But then, what I want doesn't really matter, does it; it's about what brings joy and love to everyone, and servitude to all that is, even. Taking pride in any accomplishments is kind of an invitation for the ego to jump back in and say 'Look at me! I'm so brilliant!'

Or am I just trying to convince myself of these things?

I often give far too much and don't receive enough in return, sometimes because in unawareness I tend to refuse to receive anything, or strive to be completely independent. But in the end, I am here, and only I can do what I can do.

The world seems to be full of opposites, of duality [good and evil, right and wrong, up and down, hot and cold, this and that, me/us/we and you/them] and separation, but truly, all is one. While in space, many, if not all, of those 'dualities' are suddenly gone, but the Earth, too, is 'in' space.

Sometimes it seems like there's this razor thin path of virtue amid vice, whereon striving to be 'good' seems a colossal, infinite task that is never enough. A zig-zagging, loop-de-looping path seems much more interesting.

Not receiving what you are given is selfish too.
That's blocking someone else's joy in giving.
I find it hard to receive too because I tell myself I don't deserve it.
That's a story made up from the feelings I have of neglect.

In trying to be selfless, I often end up unintentionally being selfish. For some reason when I was little I got it mixed up with shellfish.
I tell myself that I don't need to receive things, based on the feelings I have of fear and loneliness.

I have to be careful what I manifest, as to whether it's for all or just my ego.

I had a meltdown at work. The angry kind.
Because of selfish people, actually.

Now my head feels all weird and intense, like I can't switch off.

Good evening everybody.
I like R's explanation of stories.

Or was it because of shellfish people.
I forget.

Racheypie: Would some nice music help?

There's a certain jarring harshness to me when I am drained or depressed, that's rather bewildering. No sympathy, no pity, a coldness that confuses me. 'This is the way it is, so accept it' kind of thing, but deeper than that, something that began during the darkest and despairing nights, when I...disliked myself the most.

I don't want to stumble backwards into that anymore.

If you need support, You can always ask me, Miss Kuraudo.

^Well, thank you kindly.