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They both have badgers.

Why do I get blamed for dog V4's thunder?

^

Because lightning never strikes thrice.

One potato, two potato, three potato...?

No thank you.

You put your left hand in, you put ______ ______ _____ _____ ...

You put your left hand in, you put the cat into the black hole again, and it will never come out.

What did Bilbo Baggins have in his pocket?

^ Yes, I'm not sure where that one came from either. It's a dark humour.

A flea circus.

Does a cow pat make a good hat?

Only if the cow is still attached. There's nothing like a pendulous bovine - it shows real class.

How to make a horse sing Brahms?

By making it wear a hazmat suit.



Speaking of hazmat suits, do mutated birds like them in sea green checkered?

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Provided they have wheels.


What is 1,000 ants called?

millitants

So here's to you, Mrs Robinson - Jesus loves ___ ______ _____ ___ ____ ______.

cookies and pizza.

Why do dogs snore so loud?

Because their tongues are longer than their ears. This also applies to humans.


If you have a box and if you also have a cat... What would you do?

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Keep the box and get rid of the cat because boxes can't claw the furniture.

What really happened at Roswell?

Who's that?
I'll just assume it's some guy thousand miles away, is currently jaywalking in a highway desert and had just stepped on a road kill.


What was it like to own a castle?

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It was great but emptying the litter tray was rather messy.

Have you ever brought road kill home?

Sure.
I stored it in a loose pot for days before dissecting it. Then decidedly chop it to pieces and deep fried it in said loose pot.
Fed it to the local lion and lied everyone in the house about it's smell, it's existence or why was it their coffee tastes like rotten meat.



How do you swallow blue light?

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