What's on your mind right now?

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Needing to finish class assignments before they are due tomorrow.

I relaxed by doing some spontaneous drawing. Figure drawing. I don't have to listen to the self-abuse of "D:< Why didn't you do something more useful like look up new cell phones !?!", just now.

So fed up of trying to be perfect and nice all the time. Nobody did that for me. I'm probably not a good person or a bad person, just a morally grey person. That should be alright.

Fed up of trying to figure out the culture in other countries. I understand Scottish culture. That's tricky enough without navigating anything else. But that sort of comes naturally to me from interacting with people, so now I know what to do and what not to do and my thoughts are similar to other people's.

I'm really missing football tbh. That last match made me feel crap. I hate this current Judas.

I'm pretty sure my cousin text me and pretended she was my auntie but it reads like a 23 year old not like a middle aged woman.

Prime is confusing me cos I don't know if I'm on it or not. Amazon has become a scam site. I kept losing music quiz, too.

I'm probably actually going to get something written tonight which is a plus.

Sinead on Corrie basically is killing herself...

Some People neither have guilt nor passions but out of that, they never get art or literature or anything because such emotion is where we find inspiration and beauty.

Some hypocrite on reddit said 'I think women should have our own sports' I said 'yeah but netball sucks' she said 'like American football'. Um, that's a man's sport too and more of one than real football is?

She's wrong anyway, people ought to play what they want against similarly matched opponents, or if it's a board game, video game or non contact sport, against anyone who'll agree to play with them.

I don't really agree with people on Reddit so I should probably quit it except then I'd look like a troll.

When I was 12/13 I was banned from playing Scrabble in our special ed class cos I'm good at Scrabble and the other kids had learning difficulties. A TA should have played with me and encouraged my interest in a game which requires spelling, knowledge of unusual words and maths.

Brexit is so stressful that I'm not even reading it and I feel better for that. Sometimes it's right to take a break.

Also, I think SF are cowards. I get the ethics behind not sitting in Westminster but it means no Nationalist voice when it comes to things like Brexit.

I won’t fall into these pornography using like circumstances.

Giving up without giving up.

I need to go for those blood tests but I'm a pro at pro crastinating.

and now in the interest of practicing 'expressing myself' without fearing so much about butterfly effects which will mean cosmic reprimanding/commination/punishment for possibly triggering and/or offending someone in a way I didn't know ,a Kanye song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qatEUlouf0o

I hope that I soon will have enough attention span to listen to the second chapter of the 'Clan of the cave bear' audiobook.

When I was 12, my precious lil "parents" did not send me to karate

And I thought it meant they did not love me

But a dojo's website said that when you send a child to karate, it sends the message that you love your child

Marketing

Manipulation

"Perfect character"? Whoever wrote the statement (in smilies) was materialistic and greedy. Trying to guilt trip customers to waste $$$


A counselor told me that if they were to have sent me to karate, I would have had fun and learned to defend myself

Wrong

You do not know what is going to happen, unless you are precognitive or telepathic

Inside the building, anything could happen

Just like outside the building, anything could happen



Nobody in the building has had a background check, not even instructor

Precious lil "people" inside the building have the same rap sheet as idiots outside the building






Four months ago, the former instructor had the nerve to take a dog to the dojo



I was screaming


The b***h asked "are you ok?", In that innocent lil voice

Like she had never done anything wrong before

And she said sorry and put the lil dipshit in the car

f**k that b***h!! !

Leash Law.


dog owner shock collar

Legally mandated

Tag on and off in your house and in off leash areas

Otherwise, the dog owner gets an electric shock when he takes the dog off leash

Radical new penal code

"Sorry" does not cut it

f**k that b***h


Ever since that incident, I have been even more uptight than usual. Especially in the dojo




Two years ago, in the news was Jessica Lewis. Girl took dog to school. Instructor said ok.

Wrong

Internet said good dog, student, instructor

What about students allergic to or afraid of dogs

Don't they have "rights"?



Nobody gives a rats ass about me s**t


My precious lil "parents" gave me a hard time for a boys haircut

Homophobic

They came around

But they did not make reparations

And they dropped dead







They did not even live long enough to make it up to me










Homophobic ass hole

f**k mister redelings

f**k the spoiled upper middle class brat and it's dad

Entitled lil penis

I wonder what could be clicking in the wall here. It's like a golf club slightly hitting wood.
A lot on my mind.
The guy that I need to let go someday soon.
What am I going to do legally about paternity?
I know I don't want him to see my child.
I have a strong sense that would just make things worse.
Am I a bad person?
Does the universe hate me?
Why can't I deal with noises well?
Will I ever?
That's where my sucidial thoughts try to come in cause it's so hard for me to block out noises at times and I get that PTSD reaction at certain ones.

Trying to make pathways to a better future

This being 'the decade of social media'.

That lack of embracing of social media as a form of 'keeping up with the times' which happened to ppl this decade, myself included..I think that the next possible point of gap is going to be following audiobooks and cryptocurrency.

I am more concerned about how I can embrace audiobooks...Youtube and pornography has been scrambling my attention span for ~12 yrs now.

New media and technology. Before an internal freak out at looking at a job searching website.

Wanting something to eat for lunch.

Baby steps: from ~3:43-3:46 p.m. EST, I looked on two websites I actually like for job openings and nothing there. No need to freak out or rage. Tomorrow.

In 2009, the former aikido instructor let an 11 year old spoiled upper middle class brat take the class.

The lil dipshit had the nerve to call me a "sissy". Even though it's voice was higher pitched than other children of it's age, and it's face looked like a girl. It had the nerve to knock on my head. It threatened to take my wallet.

It's dad took the same class

But I did not tell the instructor because cisgender neurotypical white men are often biased in favor of precious lil "people" similar to them

Besides you do not know who is having sex with whom

One year later, the lil dipshit was bawling it's head off and told it's dad I did not let go when it tapped and I choked it

It was five inches and over 20 pounds over me

f**k the spoiled upper middle class brat

f**k it's dad for paying

f**k the instructor for showering it with attention and affection and acting like it was the most special and important lil dipshit in the solar system

It's dad barked at me about it's "rights"