What's on your mind right now?

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How much of what I am is personal choice?

how about punching a pillow? you are grieving a loss. anger is an expected part of that grief. also, you might write angry letters and rip them up. and best coping of all, once anger gets to a manageable level: anger is energy. the best revenge is living well. use anger to improve your life.

try also to remember that little annoyances will seem much bigger because of your grief and its related anger. try not to take the full force of that out on annoying folks.

rrrr

give it some time. if gerrymandering and court-packing can't be undone peacefully, there will be a revolution. the first american revolution was about taxation without representation. we're awfully close to being there again.

A job fair at my school, which I will attend later today.

I changed courses at uni and now I'm doing poetry and place.

I didn't submit because my work got deleted (by me being tired and stupid)

If someone were to know everything about me they would be awfully confused. Most people only fit one box or another but I'm a mass of contradictions.

Maybe everyone is like that and other people just hide it from me.

I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing. I thought all aspies were like that but even on here people get confused by me.

Well, I've been in a state of confusion for over 20.5 billion years

No hope left in my "life"

Not to say that there was ever any hope

Might as well deal drugs

Most days several ass holes try to sell weed to me

Do not want to get addicted and $$ and have to deal with those idiots

But unemployable or close

And nothing to do all day

No precious lil "friends"

"Most people" are too enthusiastic and judgmental

"Cool", "sucks", "ok", "huh", "what", "respect", "mean" , "rude", "most people" "help", "hurt" "like", ""want".


"Are you ok"

Morons in aikido, (and outside aikido) keep asking me that. They do not have the power or skill to do anything about it. They are just bothering me. And they act like I have to say thank you


"may I help you",.

Likewise

Saying they "helped" me is like asking what day it is at 12:03am


"do you have a question".

Like they know the answer


Situational versus dispositional

"Nice person"

Implications

Connotation versus denotation

"Most people" act like they are the latest greatest thing since sliced bread

Scary parts

I tried about 14 years ago to learn how to drive, and all I wound up doing is running into the side of someone's SUV. I'm not sure how good of an idea it would be for me to start again.

Is there something wrong with me?
I want to hurt someone.
From too much video games when I played them, or was I always like this?
I hurt so bad sometimes in my heart and mind.

You'll never know til you try.

Thanks

I wonder if B is into the stuff he puts into his art work cos when we were 12-14 I used to call him the stuff I did and wash up his paint brushes or Bunsen burner etc. Only thing I minded was actually doing the physical side of the science experiments.

Even though I'm dyspraxic and can't do practical science experiments, I don't think I'm actually bad at science. When I watch it on YouTube or read New Scientist, I understand stuff. I am bad at maths still though. When I try to do the maths questions in the Post I always get them wrong. But not the add em ups, I can do those.

I really like that art...

It doesn't matter who understands my life, stuff just happens.

I had a weird 2 minute thing where I thought (names changed here) 'what if all this was because Rob slept with* someone close to home I didn't know about' (Ash's son)... nah. If that had happened, he would have been at least beaten up by Ash, probably by more than that, and I would have known about it. Ash just had issues because he and his family had to live in the same building as we did, Pablo did and Rob did and didn't even get the best of it. He thought he was above us but was living the same life or worse.

Ash is a crap fake name for anyone who isn't a Yank... Shame there aren't more British kings... Maybe change to Oliver or something cos he does feel like a curse on me...

I'm not sure if I need to rebel more or less and if I need to rebel against Rob too...

I wonder if I'll be obsessed with this stuff all my life. It's formative I guess. It's probably why I write and do art.

*I shouldn't call it that but if I don't I might have to quit saying 'slept with' for what happened between us, too.

Trying to develop a solid game plan on how to improve my financial status

I would LOVE to see an Hispanic version of 'The skin deep' YouTube channel.