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Wondering if certain people's lives are much better without my inclusion within them from such a long time ago

Mourning is appropriate, but don't focus on bringing him back to life. Focus on your baby.

The seven steps of mourning are:
Shock and Denial, Pain and Guilt, Anger and Bargaining, Depression, Doing Better, Reconstruction, Acceptance.

You will get to the acceptance stage when you are ready.

Did the beeping noise stop?

needing to schedule eye exam for new pair of X-Men spectacles

Wondering if i am doing the right thing to swap apartments with a neighbor. Sure - i don't need all this space, and the rent is 20% lower, but... i kinda like the place - it's SO big.

On the other hand, i'll get more money each month and there won't be some fat rhinoceros living above me.

You say "I don't care, I don't care" so often that sooner or later you find yourself in a strenuous 'dead-end job' with bona fide depression b/c reality is the sum of all social interactions, therefore (with) perspective being the most important thing you gave self-deception to your internal experience quality basing you decisions on apathy not understanding how neuro-lethal pathos can be when you forever pretend https://bigthink.com/experts-corner/dec ... ion-making.

Do I blame you for it?. I should say no but I don't do sympathy.

F---k forgiveness; says a part of me which sees it barely more than a flimsy leeway of permission than some grandeur embracing expression of interpersonal love (=_= not that you see that too often..).

"most people" just don't get it

They act all buddy buddy, until you do something they do not understand, then they give you the third degree

"what?" Is not the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me"

you do not have a moral right to be happy at all times

nobody wants to hear every stupid ass thought that goes through your head, Rolando


your filthy paws give people diseases, ass hole

"Ok" is not the same as "I'm sorry"


When you apologize so often for things that are not your fault, when something is your fault, "sorry" is meaningless


"Building community" "establishing rapport". ?



How about, stop hrrting peoples ears, ass holes

--3:27-3:32

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKPwKFi ... s&index=13

But finding fulfillment in worldly things is a sinny,sin,sin!.

The man I was in a relationship with has recently just stop contacting me and put me straight to voicemail on his phone.
So, far no reply to my calls and one text. I'm going to send an email, but I think he bailed.
Cowardly.

I'm most likely going to have to force the paternity test on him.

No...

I'm at my parents' house, taking a break.
My dad has agreed to not smoke indoors.
I'm disappointed. Everything about that apartment is good, except for that.
The management tried a few things.
They said that they aren't sure where it's coming from. Or, can't hear it.
I asked if I could show one of the staff where I hear it and what it is. No reply yet.
My case manager and master clinician are already looking for a new place. I'm planning on putting my name on a list for single mother housing as backup. They have condo/duplex houses.
I'm also getting a noise machine that cost about 50 dollars. Natural fan blowing noise is the only white noise that doesn't irritate me.
It kind of blows because my ex, on top of not contacting me, has stopped sending me money when I need it the most.

Sometimes I wonder if he plans this stuff to be a big a**hole.

Nobody wants to understand me and I shouldn't have shared.

The correct way to share would have been face to face.

But if I did that and someone was offended I'd guarantee an actual argument. Probably from a liar.

Trouble is I don't lie.

I'm not gonna show them what a stereotype looks like cos they're already prone to other stereotypes and it's no way to go though life.

Even if I do it too. Even I am one partly. I find that sort of humour funny cos it 'gets' me.

But that's me done w that thread.

Also nobody likes to communicate w me... from tutor to women, I get silence.

And no I am not texting this stuff to my (stupid sheep) woman, I'm texting her and saying 'should I put my hero's poster on the wall if he's said some homophobic stuff'...

If it was Ferguson who said it (not that Ferguson is a big deal emotionally, not that we're from the 80s, I'm just thinking 'former legend') and she text me... I dunno what I'd say but I'd say something.

Lenny is really annoying me. Of all people to be a bully and risk someone else's mental health.

It's cos she hates him anyway, maybe. Cos she's been told to.

A book.
It's sunny outside.
That man still.
Bleh.

My son.
Other things.

I think, I like 'Rule 63'.

Fear of failure and social rejection preventing me from taking risks and doing something significant

Intimidation

Success and social acceptance helps a teaspoon for minute

Failure and social rejection hurt more and longer


Feel braindead

Suspect disease

Hatred is what makes me immortal.

~"Your a grown man, you can make your own decisions" something my younger brother told mea after explaining how my mom would like to drag me to Acapulco during the common 'March break' phase. Given what I could expect at a resort being on a 'fixed' place in contrast to a cruise ship, over-commodified luxury settings leave me over-stimulated. Liberation for me is every step towards feasibly residing on my own irreversibly even given possible c--y employment outcomes while living on my own.

=__= I am going to be intrepid enough to say my reservations for the trashy disrespect white ppl are kind of infamous for among other ethnic groups in regards to their parents (yes, even given the 'privledges' of having pulled off 'postindustrial world', socioeconomic status) is a reason for why I am reluctant to bring this up.

I don't know how to make sense of filial respect. I am functionally an atheist.

You can't keep blaming white men for every single act of violence in America. It reeks of racism.