What's on your mind right now?

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Sam Beckett never made it home. And that is depressing.

on "the brady bunch", jan got sick. they through she was allergic to mike. negative. they thought she was allergic to the dog. then it turned out she was allergic to the dog's flea powder.

how the f**k do i find out if i am allergic to rolando? can't do a controlled experiment. some idiots have way too many sweat glands. surface area to volume ratio. cold f**k. all that penis did was sit around flapping his trap and he's sweating enough to make someone that touches him feel slippery and gross. maybe i could wear gloves in aikido. but they could get ripped. and then it's harder to clean the gloves. f**k rolando.

f**k the rain. when it's raining, i don't know if i should go for a walk. the second i got on the bus, it stopped raining. the forecast is often wrong.

"life" is going nowhere.

too many dipshits are so biased against me that the first thing they assume when something they don't like happens, is that it is my fault.

library computers too many germs. scratch head, through hood.

a former aikido classmate keeps pressuring me to do volunteer work. uppity lil moron. he's the one that manipulated me to go to community college after i got a bachelors. but last year only saw him twice, and only a couple minutes. he was in a hurry to go somewhere.

if he's going to manipulate or peer pressure me to do something, he has to spend more time with me.

not to say that i want him to spend more time with me.

but it's the concept s**t.

and what the flying f**k is "aahhh ha haha ha ha". not many things are funny, for me. and they are not that funny.

f*****g idiots

._. .. I could have *asked* the crossing-guard to help me across rather than shamefully dashing across.

I did not entirely appreciate an instructor’s sense of humour.

I'm getting off soon.
I feel sick emotionally and mentally.

Also, too many memories of my ex.

And, a secret.

I deciding not to watch a scene from an animated movie where a character almost commits suicide ('Batman:bad blood').

Hoping the job interview goes well..

... pain ...

"life" is going nowhere

Lil dipshits are so manipulative

Too many compliments, like I have to say thank you

Criticism, like I have to apologize and fix it to their satisfaction

Situational versus dispositional

Dogs

Referring to themselves as "most people"

"Huh" , ""what"

Too much drama

"Actions speak louder than words"

"Pick your battles"


"Most people" are so f*****g judgmental

They pursue whatever they want, courageous and entitled lil dipshits




But sometimes if you try to improve something, you take the risk of making it worse


Fear versus greed

Dispositional versus situational


Globalization versus pattern recognition


f**k mister redelings

f**k the spoiled upper middle class brat

f**k Rolando Morales from aikido of Berkeley

f**k Gail hetler, Adrian Wadsworth

Homophobic simpletons ass holes

f**k Hui hua Wu

Feel dizzy and confused
And tired for no reason
Need to ‘get it together’

Every day the planned schedule changes whether due to illness, kids’ illness, therapist or babysitter cancelling, weather affecting schedule..

I don't know.

Most old/middle aged men I know are transphobic and call trans people disgusting.

And it isn't even like they have sensible reasons they just say 'ew'.

One of them is my dad who reckons all gay men are weak even though I give him example after example of gay or bisexual men who are/were tough. My dad is basically a bigot, he's also sexist, but he won't admit it. He thinks he's too hard done to to be a bigot.

I find it really annoying.

My dad doesn't even know I was considering transition and I'm still not sure of my gender. My dad hates trans people so much I'd basically be risking being disowned if he knew how I felt. Even though I'm very masculine etc and he knows I don't wear female clothing. He won't even deem it appropriate to say 'butch'. He says 'tomboy' as if I was ten.

Not that my dad is even worth worrying about being disowned by, not like he ever did proper parenting after I was 4.

"the Brady bunch" episode. Peter got a job fixing bikes. Fired the third day.

A lot of homophobic physical violence and murder in the news

Scares me because I crossdress

But where I live is not that homophobic

Makes me even more introverted

That is dysfunctional

Almost always, almost everyone completely ignores me

That is "as good as it gets"

Anemic, lethargic, fatigued

Lying down on the floor



Breasts removal surgery $$$$

Self conscious

Compression vest expensive and uncomfortable. But binds . Not enough support from under breasts

Bra insufficient at binding



Mister redelings is a homophobic simpleton .

Fantasy: court order make him pay for mastectomy

Wasted the day but not really bcyz that rest n esp shower replenished my mind enough that when kids go to dads tonight ti visit, i can study

I will admit that I sometimes type things thinking that what I type is better.

I will admit that I sometimes type things thinking that what I type is more meaningful than what someone else put up or what is usually put up.

https://www.msn.com/en-ca/lifestyle/lif ... li=AAggFp5
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Work was cancelled b/c of weather and I have a conflict in my mind as to when to report a certain earning. I would prefer that the wages arrive on March the 1st rather than tomorrow.