What's on your mind right now?

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I need to bite the bullet and let people read my stuff rather than trying to write workshop style poems which are tedious.

Only two weeks left of course after all.

Look I understand that me following my dreams is best for me wanting to be a filmmaker, but right now I have to be a computer programmer so that I can pay bills and support myself okay. I will get back to filmmaking later on okay. Besides this isn't the first time. Remember that time I used to be passionate about making video games? And the time with being a musician?

Jeanne Courtney and Jamie Adair know a lot less about psychology, and total , than they act like they do

And I know a lot more than they admit to


If and when I get another counselor, he or she has to be up to date about psychology trends and research


And I want to tell the next counselor that I will fire him if he

acts in a way that I find condescending

has the nerve to say what or huh instead of "excuse me"

makes comments, positive or negative, about my appearance, IQ, or anything like that

obsessed with mandated reporter law

keeps making a mountain out of a molehill






But maybe the insurance won't let me switch providers after counseling starts.

Leverage


Silver lining


The silver lining of no friends, is not having any friends to lose when I told homophobic lil dipshits I wanted to be a boy not a girl





Destroyed my "life" a long time ago


Graceful degradation


But even then I were to have gotten a bachelor in structural engineering,

Take your dog to work day

Personality disorder

Equal employment opportunity commission 2012 gender identity


So what the flying f**k ever s**t



Might just be overqualified for more jobs


Skinny smart handsome cisgender neurotypical white men like mister redelings, still would have a hugefuck advantage over me



"You make people uncomfortable with the way you dress!"

The lil penis needs to do 10000 hours community service at the Gay Center. He can be the janitor, plumber. Do something. The lil penis has plenty of job skills


The penis needs to look up "Sasha Fleischman". "Wear a skirt for Sasha day"? What the flying f**k?


Cisgender men and women purposely went out of their own way, to show moral support to Sasha, by wearing a skirt


Crossdressing


Berkeley 2013 is much less homophobic than San Diego 2004




f**k mister redelings



Little penis

Watched several clips of toddlers n tiaras and ‘painted babies’ and want to punch every nutbag parent who puts their child in these things to this degree and every pageant creator and judge needs to die

Oh sorry not ‘die’ but contract horrible diseases where they are laid up in bed long enough to realize how abysmal it was to contribute to this sub-culture of bad parenting..

Although i doubt ppl thst stone-hearted n sick n self-centred are capable of self-reflection n humility

Something Deep Southern. Probably Country music.

Or even New Orleans Jazz. Which I am listening to now on youtube.

Given the politicized nature of the Oscars in a 'new media' landscape with the internet and streaming services becoming productive of content previously thought only feasible with a TV or movie budget and production methods, I wonder if the '100th Oscar awards' will even be a thing and in what kind of environment by the time we get there `_` .
__

Monotonocity-additional premises does not invalidate the argument

Electroconvulsive therapy

Ketamine injection

Weed looks tempting. But ,$$ and side effects. And do not want to deal with that type of precious lil ", people"

Idiots all over the place

Too tired weak and lazy to do jack

Energizer Bunny.


Yesterday's friend told me that she wanted to bake muffins and cookies for Rolando and the customer that pushed her car

They could be allergic


Nuts, milk


And they might not eat it


They might do her a favor by eating it


Seriously gratitude is good, but baking cookies is not always great


A couple of weeks ago she cooked cauliflower rice and told me that she gave me "a little" and it was ,"healthy". Too vague


Tasted like too much cheese and chicken and not enough cauliflower


Too vague


She's addicted to aikido

She went seven to five times a week




Religion, politics, school, work, attachment


Magic and mystery


Puzzle


The idiots inside the building are filthy. After washing my hands, reluctant to wipe on towels. Towels not clean.

Dipshits sweat too much

Allergic reaction



Some lardass hotshots prepubescent boy about ten, was sitting in the dressing room throughout class


Toddler play area


Paranoid he would mess with my s**t


Whose stupiass baby is he?


Kayla feder b***h f**k you


Jamie knocked too hard on the bathroom door

Ass hole. Ugly



Boys and "men" need to wear undershirt


Sweaty gross hairy chest

The uniform jacket comes open.

Might as well not be wearing one


Will Letchworth b***h f**k you


The penis kept squeaking "what?", Like it was the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me"


"You need to bow in" the scrotum had the nerve to tell me



f**k will Letchworth

Stupid boy!



f**k Molly Jane Kirk


f**k Jeremy Julius su


f**k ozben felek



f**k the spoiled upper middle class brat and it's dad




f**k the instructor for letting it take the class








f**k it's dad for paying




f**k John and Nate Pearson from Fresno State, Berkeley.

Watched against my better judgement a lame vid on y9utube called ‘whats the worst thing someone ever said to u?’

I realize ppl have different tolerance levels and contexts and they cannot tell the entire story in one snapshot. However the majority

of these ‘most hurtful’ things were so mild compared to things I had been told n encountered on a daily basis till recently. One girl’s mom told her she was stupid one time when she couldn’t figure out a math problem. That’s the worst thing? Wow you got off easy.

A boy walked past the girl’s desk in 3rd grade and told her ‘you’re stupid.’ Wow. That’s it? She was so mad about it still too, as a 30 or 40 something. No ‘go kill yourself, ugly, disgusting, cover your face, loser, freak, die already, etc’ on a daily basis while being kicked by white girls with trashy parents who encouraged it, accordng to one. No family regularly saying n doinb way worse things than ‘stupid.’ No .. whatever happend recently from 2011 to 2018.
‘Stupid’
‘Your cheeks are fat’
Wow.
People are either really weak or I just had a tougher life than them.

by the time they're six most children are already spoiled with learned nonsense

Many things I'm thinking about atm.

I want to move and never deal with strata living ever again.
Only problem is that will involve me doing a few makeover things to my current place (painting, carpet, a few electrical repairs etc). That's been fun to do; window shop paint colours and carpets.
And it will involve having to sell my current place first so I can access the equity I get back for a deposit on something else. Unless by sheer chance there is someone out there willing to do a property title swap. We'd only need to pay each other's stamp duty and legals, and my mortgage is 'portable' so that's no trouble.

Then I'm thinking that financially re-committing myself to even stay in this town is probably not a good idea for the future, especially if my mum decides to move north to look after my nan. My job is s**t, so mum is the only reason I haven't left town myself, but if she goes first there's nothing holding me back and the whole continent of Australia is my smorgasbord . Though I'm leaning towards QLD because the property is cheap(er) in the regional areas up there.