What's on your mind right now?

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The pharmacist wanted to ask a bunch of nosy questions so I could get meltlets. In case anyone doesn't have difficulties swallowing or isn't from the UK - meltlets are just aspirin.

They're not sold at local supermarkets but they're the sort of thing which would be sold at a supermarket. OTC medicine which I take for headaches.

I hope the pharmacist doesn't start making it hard to buy them.

Also - should I have bought that magazine?

Also - why do people say obvious things? Three theories:
1 they think I'm stupid. This is the one my anxiety has been telling me
2 they're stupid and think they're coming up with startling revelations
3 people tell each other things which they expect the other person to know all the time. That seems to me to be a stupid waste of time and to tie into two, though.

I just spoke to the therapist n i donr know how to explain the real deep stuff onl surface stuff
I think he doesn’t get how deep it goes bcuz im not even delving into of articulating it or trying to get at it


but i have to

I want more sleep.

My mom going on a trip to Mexico with an aunt.

a heap of mix-ups and confusion

The stereotype of ppl on the autistic spectrum becoming experts in STEM fields?. Asides from an unspoken of majority in terms of gender demographics in the field, (as it I can say from experience) struggling to learn given a mix of not only under-understood learning styles but lousy experiences with teaching providers there is something to be said about how that struggle with physicality and motor skills can mean fumbling even in instrumentation.

That means a lot when the equipment and content your using is expensive, difficult to acquire gear which your expected to do well with the first time around.

I was in a 'biotechnology technician' program and did not like the biology or chemistry based 'labs' b/c of that nor the physics based too much even though it felt much more 'low risk'.

I've been meaning to say that for a lllooonngg time.
__

It could really point out to the intentionality of American comics if the 'Image comics founders' were to do children picture books (which I think would be pretty bada-- ).

I had a meltdown yesterday.
That heater generator sound from 2 weeks ago from my upstairs neighbor came back. I had that, then now I'm basically shut down. I've been on the couch most of the day. I've not eaten as much. Not changed clothes. I've fought thoughts of running. I still want to.
My ex bullying me.
My case manager and master clinician checked on me. And they said they would tomorrow.
I feel really bad.
Like I want to die, run away, or hurt someone almost simultaneously.

I feel I'm failing.
That I may not be able to make it to a comfortable place to raise my son.
Or even keep him.
.... I just want help so badly.

Can you keep your apartment lease but go back to your parents until you feel more confident?

Going back to my parents would cause similar issues.

At least you'd have a little help with your son, and be able to rest more for a week or two.

A need to continue studying for my finals, which will be one week from tomorrow.

I am aware of the significance which Jack Kirby had on American comics and for a long time didn't think much of the art style seeing it as important 'historically/developmentally' but not appealing to me. When I think about how I saw a few episodes of the Fox Kid's era Silver surfer cartoon which had CGI mixed in while retaining the Kirby-esque look, I find it interesting that such an effort was made and it applied to post-60's era characters who appeared on the show like the not very Dave Bautista/Annihilation wave looking Drax and Beta Ray Bill.

I also remember seeing old Walt Simonson era Thor comics from ~the 80's recoloured and think to myself how 'updating' an artists work for media asides from source material comics is treated differently in American media than in Japanese media (even though the recent Dororo anime based on Tezuka's work, out of all ppl has received something of an update).

Some STEM professionals are as good at counseling, relationships, emotions, visual art, music , theater, as professionals of those fields. Artists, however, are almost never as good at STEM, as STEM professionals


Hugh lofting, civil engineer, "the animal doctor", Army



"Have a great day", "how are you?", "Are you ok?", "Take care", . Means nothing. Compliments on appearance and IQ are condescending. And I will not say "thank you".



When I was wrong I got a punishment. When some idiots were wrong, I got a punishment


Double standards


Two way street

Level playing field


Mrs fields cookies


Self actualized


Sasha Fleischman, hero


I got treated like public enemy number one

I've sensory issue there too.
I'm just thinking that if there's no way of getting this resolved.
Realistically, unless someone holds my hand for most of the way, I may not even be able to keep a place for my son and I.
Then when stuff like this happens, it affects everything like a snowball.
I don't have a job yet.
I was denied disability.
My ex is still sending some money.
Though he obviously doesn't care about us as people.
I haven't paid my electric bill yet.
Rent is free though.
I'm at a point where I feel so sick inside emotionally and physically from my mind that I don't want to eat much and I feel I need to run and find a hideway or just give up and be miserable that I couldn't give my son myself what he needs, a stable comfortable home.

hugs.

employment, so I can start become a productive citizen once again and not appear to be a burden as some people see me as..