What's on your mind right now?

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What to have for my meal today. I typically have the one and graze throughout the day.

I’d keep the professional affiliation—Just in case.

My stepdad doesn’t seem to care if we’re rude to people. It’s embarrassing.

All the straight blokes in my life assume that all gay men are camp, it’s really homophobic

If I was a cis guy I would tell my male friends that we ought to have an afternoon where we do yard work for the women in our lives while they had a spa day because we take a lot of advantage

Celtic have a PSG boy and we’re hardly playing him so we’re hardly crap

Some women don’t understand bravado etc

Kent punched someone of course he should be banned

This city actually has a damn good history of brave people

My stepdad has been wearing the same jacket all week

My stepdad said he has problems with esprit d’esclair, that’s exactly my problem

Aesthetic appearance is a stupid reason to vote for people when it isn’t a beauty contest

I’m not sure if my stepdad is honest all the time or if he’s being biased

You shouldn’t tell someone off for incitement because the crowd are idiots because then idiots will never get wound up and decent people will be wound up all the time

Punching people is violent

Pushing people in the face is violent…

I don’t set goals about how I look because that’s some weak rubbish

Most people can’t be the best looking they want to be

I’m so going to copy that ‘annoying’ ‘incitement’ behaviour though

My stepdad seems to think ‘sod it we’re here now, let’s act like neds’

I keep coming across people with weird names

If I wasn’t a good person and was quick witted I would have offered that woman a punch and said ‘of course you’re used to that’. But that would be wrong

Getting to class on time because my class starts 20 minutes from now.

Easter holidays started, something I am happy about

Scratch ears with Bobby pin.

Feels so good

Made a Dr appointment. That took a lot of energy

Then I can go to the psychiatrist

Drugs

It's been too long without drugs

Addiction

Instead of trying to think of more favorable methods to interpret situations, to make me look like a hero. And everyone else a villian, goal is to only think about bad s**t in real time . Only when it is part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs

For example if I write a book about it

But otherwise, look forward more often

f**k Greg lines

^ one thing which helps me (I have social anxiety) is trying to remember that most people are stupid rather than malicious. Most people just don't think very deeply.

So for eg when I hear laughing, I need to remember someone is probably laughing at something which isn't me. Or common phrases which upset me, usually they're not meant maliciously. A smart person wouldn't say it but people aren't smart.

Hope this helps and doesn't come across as patronising shite.

I think house hunting is my new special interest.

I'm thinking about these two articles.

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/02/everyday-adultism/
https://everydayfeminism.com/2014/10/lies-about-nonconforming-children/

Yeah I mean thoughtless. Most people are just thoughtless and don't actually care in great detail about things like aspies are prone to

I don’t want Lennon for manager anymore

My neighbours are playing thud thud music

People seriously think people seriously want Lennon instead of it just having to do with liking the guy

Seriously why do people play music which doesn’t have a tune

Yeah I do know everyone sings and wears that sort of thing but doesn’t mean it doesn’t look ‘hard man’

Basically everyone is a stereotype

Everyone is so confident around here and I’m not used to it

That guy hit me with his newspaper though and pretended it was an accident

Dunno why Carla on Corrie cares so much about a sister she didn’t know was a sister until decades after she got married

Hope that idiot in the stream choked on his out of date Walkers crisps while he crapped himself

He basically just wants risk because risk is thrilling and I’m boring

No need to shave his head like that though

I’m thinking of my home town all the time at the moment

Most people take pictures and video of everything nowadays, my mum’s friends think we’re weird because we only have the same sort of amount we would in the 90s – birthdays and Christmases. It’s called having a private life

If I didn’t have light sensitivity I’d get VR and a projector

I like Rana’s brother’s speech, Corrie people are way too capitalist and obsessed with who’s the boss

I hate how people don’t like me because I lack confidence. It’s the same with mates not just with lads

What is the point of man of the match if we draw

Other people spend their lives at parties instead of spending their lives cross at loud music

What's on my mind is how I never seem to be able to do anything even remotely useful. Any time I try to help out with anything, when I ask what I can help with, suddenly there isn't anything that needs to be done, even if they were just begging for people to help out five minutes ago. Any job I find an opening for, for one reason or another I can't perform it adequately. When I ask my parents what I can do to help out around the house, I just get shrugs in reply. And the only thing I seem to be any good at is getting in the way.

My spouse is as mild and accommodating as one can imagine but he is pretty po'd at me today and this is difficult for me to handle. I think it hinges on me having to do the taxes today. I have to do them because there is my business and also issues about being in a hurricane disaster area. It's very complicated and takes all my brain power. So I wasn't available to help put the groceries away or just in general make time for him. I will just give him time and he will get over it, but I just get so scared and don't know how to behave. I have to do a complicated task like taxes when the willingness to do it arises. I can't just make myself do it, for example, next weekend. Also, he is now working four day weeks, but I still have five plus days to work. Not asking for advice. Just what is on my mind.

Finally made doctor's appointment

Tried to cope without drugs

No good

Drugs $$ and side effects. But they are all different

Might as well take drugs

Some articles claim that the MRI for clinical depression is the same as the one for brain damage





Can't f*****g sleep

Don't know why


Wish I was not so emotionally fragile


Rolando Morales penis acts like I am intellectually challenged


But that's like correctly pointing out strangers at the bus stop call me "fa***t"

So what ?

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"


Words "hurt"

Words just don't "help"


Yesterday's counselor talked so quietly I had to lean forward

And then she looked at the door




If it happens again I am going to move the chair


My voice sounds weird


Maybe because I do not sit around flapping their trap like Rolando Morales penis, Ricardo dickhead, Julian, will and other idiots



Should have joined the military


Nothing bad happened lately



Need drugs


Serotonin

Dopamine


Brain craving


Love





A "misunderstanding" waiting to "happen"




Medical evaluation board



Junior prom


Tuxedo


If I had a job, spouse, friends, hobby whatever



Then Rolando Morales penis would not get on my nerves so much


And k don't want or need as much lavish praise



He is a special education teacher, high school


But I think my IQ score is much higher than his






Idiots act like they "care" but they do whatever they want



Still zero email apology




Might as well give up on "life"



"Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach"



"But what is a battle without a wound?". "Reading with Patrick"





Listen to music


Headphones



Convicted felons


f****d up my "life"




Restaurant retail sales


Office, warehouse, manufacturer




Work McDonald's




STEM gone out the window

When I flunked out of structural engineering I tried and failed to commit suicide



Maybe there is no "hope,"


False hope


Graceful degradation


Neuroplasticity


"Worthless"

You can't measure your value


Even monetary currency exchange rate fluctuates daily


Beyond salvage value


Some idiots are so entitled that they truly believe that every time someone does something they do not like, their stupidass "rights" have been violated






Basic training


Combat engineer


Crucible