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It went to the salon. That's what.


Describe spring.

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Watermelon cucumber, green grass clean, and minty green.

There are birds' nest ferns, horse tail ferns, asparagus ferns, and air ferns. How did they get their names?

A username Fern did it.



How big is big?

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Usually, big enough but sometimes, too big.


So, why should you treat a sofa with care?

Because, as it says right on the consumer care label, if you don't, it waits until you take an afternoon nap and into its soft, toothless jaws you go. Gummed to death, your body will rot, only to be found alongside withered grapes, linty cheez its and the dogs old chew toys.

Why are there so many potholes?

A giant dwarf man decided to rain dance while everyone's asleep.



How is it that a person is shaking with rage and boredom?

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Clearly, there's an earthquake in progress.

Ants?

Millitants.



What bites back yet also do not bite?

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A shy poodle with loose false teeth?

The best thing since sliced ...

Soup.

Julius Caesar said: "I came, I saw, I _________. "

... Tumbled on a horse.


What is the definition of 'BOLD'?

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Lots of extra ink and no more toner when I get to the copy machine.

What is the purpose of yelling?

To say we are fine.


What's the world's most frequently thrown object known to humankind?

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Magnets

What is the difference between a ladle and a salt spoon? (and which one should I use for this recipe)?

The difference is it's parents. They're distant cousins.
Use shovels. Please use a shovel full.



What are the odds a parent would ground a century old child?

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Odds are low a child that young would be grounded. Developmentally inappropriate. Grounding shouldn't occur until five centuries old.

What becomes less bossy the bossier it gets?