What's on your mind right now?

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Print out painting, colour not needed.

The idea is that if I'm hired I will 'shut up' enough that I won't really be here any longer.

"What do you want to do for your birthday?" "What do you want for your birthday?"

I don't care, I don't feel like it matters. It's largely the same every year for the past 16ish years. I don't know what would be fun, I don't know what to even consider wanting instead. I'm not excited nor happy about getting older. I do appreciate the few that want to do something for me but it's all pretty empty for me. So it just makes having to answer those questions kind of unpleasant.

https://raisethehammer.org/article/3629 ... f_assholes

There is nothing that I enjoy doing and nothing I am good at doing

So what?

Dualism, bell curve

Lowering the definition of "successful" and "smart" makes it meaningless

Not everyone is good at something

"Life" goes on and on and on and on and on


And I am 36 years old

Middle aged


Middle ages


King, queen, knight, squire, page, most, castle, dungeon

Comic Con


Dating someone in wheelchair


Wheelbarrow ride


Court mandated financial reparations



When I flunked structural engineering, I tried and failed to commit suicide


all was not lost, but significant portion lost



Irrevocable, irreplaceable


Post traumatic stress disorder


Clinical depression and anxiety



Idiots in aikido act like they are so f*****g innocent, smart and important



Ass holes



Germs


Barefoot


Dipshits don't wash their hands



They talk too much and too loudly and there are too many of them




They act way too enthusiastic, adrenal fatigue




Aikido of Berkeley

Julian' wilner's long nails, like a girl



Will Letchworth bcallousedly snapped "what?", Just because he is deaf . Say "excuse me", ass hole




Idiots too rough




f**k the spoiled upper middle class brat from aikido




It's dad and instructor should never have let it take the class





Regardless of it's height, weight and skill, it Should not be in the same class as adults





f**k John Pearson for letting it in the class





Warren pottebaum is so sophisticated, indulgent, charismatic, charming, Energizer Bunny,vrefined , amazing






But Warren let the spoiled upper middle class brat into aikido, so that's like accompl8ce




Hate stupidass compliments because I have to say "thank you"





Appetite gone haywire




Ate after getting back to trader Joe's, from job interview



Hummus tastes like cheese




Whole wheat pita tastes like pancakes



Grits


Mutton



Salami

Eggs



Sausage





f**k mister redelings




f**k Jeremy Julius su

Being employed once more

My first final is in 15 minutes!

Just enjoying the nice avatar that grace has chosen..

Making sure I get to my counselor's office on time.

My new counseling regime begins later today at 3 PM.

Chiropractor, not a doctor, even though they go by "doctor"

The same BS is getting on my nerves every day

Nerves, synapse, dendrite, axiom,

Can't find niche

Uppity lil dipshits , hippie idiots

Indulgent and manipulative

They act nice but ulterior motive

CIA interrogation

Irs audit



36 years old and no accomplishments

Significant




All the mcjobs I qualify for, all the gangsters, drug addicts and convicted felons also qualify for





There is nothing left in "life" for me positively


Osteoporosis


Arthritis


Anemia



Slide, swing, monkey bars,

Park


Brain damage

Brain turned off



So what, I have no job skills?

Jeanne Courtney also has no job skills. And she earns 75 hour. Stupid b***h



While I am not in Mensa, I am not nearly as stupid as some penises treat me

Not enough willingness.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Merely trying to remain hopeful..

Putting on foot in front of the other. Not looking at the edge.

Today's doctor appointment was "As good as it gets". They were nice

The doctor told me that they "have" to ask, are you thinking about hurting yourself or something else

The doctor asked , "what diagnosis do you have"

After Kaiser, I haven't gone to a doctor

Did not have to undress


Kaiser didn't release my records

Don't know who to blame

She asked me questions from memory

Or maybe Kaiser did release my records

And the doctor didn't read them


She asked, "any suicide attempt"

Lied "no"

She was receptive

Thus far

Doesn't say anything about next appointment

Blood drawn


She told me that I was exhausted because "deconditioned".



So what, I am bad at diet and exercise

Not everyone more energetic than me has a better diet and exercise


Maybe energy level has more to do with, extroversion


Some idiots talk all f*****g day long


Ate on the bus


Pear and apple


Bloated





Applied to a job

Not even one hour later, 4 pm, it emailed to ask if I could do a phone interview this afternoons

Same day


Impatient lil ass holes


Bad company to work for

The Mandela Effect.

Just taking in the early morning beauty..