What's on your mind right now?

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This guy I met at the weekend. Not in a het way which I'm sure my compliments sounded like to him even though I said 'I'm gay' he probably felt like 'and I'm the exception, hot'...

Not even envy which I thought it was at first.

It's pride.

He has all the traits I used to get made fun of for, he has them more than I have them and he's super confident. I have seen that on TV, sure, or online. But never in person. It makes me feel like if I work at it, I could be just as confident because none of that holds him back.

I love that sort of pride man. I'm going to work at having it myself. I'm going to get myself a summer wardrobe at least, black jeans and leather jackets and cool haircut etc. The things I'd been denying myself because I didn't feel good enough. Learn to have confident body language and beyond this shallow stuff, learn to value myself.

Yes sure, we're both vaguely related and our families have been through hardships and we've been through bullying ourselves. But that's no reason to not be confident. No reason we can't rebel against that sort of stuff.

Thing is, there's no way to say this if you're a lesbian or a straight bloke. It does come across as flirting. But it really isn't, and it's OK to have strong emotions about something without that element to it. It's a tribal thing, a real tribal thing not a chosen tribal thing.

The best way to tell me to let it go, is by not telling me to let it go.

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Just doing my best to remain hopeful, but not deliberately lying to myself about my employ ability potential

Perhaps deep optimism spoken out loud a lot gets mistaken for pessimism because NTs like to read things into things.

I'm actually really happy right now. But I want to write an essay about why and NTs would take that as false or a cry for help or something.

looking at job prospects outside of my territory, as I'm not opposed to relocating as, I've done it so damned often, but not of my own choosing though;however, just to find some serenity within my life as whole would be quite nice no matter if it's several thousand miles away..

Needing to finish homework that is due tomorrow.

Both Godzilla and the Transformers are media franchises with 'wide source' material both in .U.S. and Japan; the 'Sonic the hedgehog' movie is in a similar overlap as far as 'where' to draw from.

Factoring how serious Marvel studios is about getting the X-men under their belt,I'm not too sure if a threat level like infinity gauntlet wielding Thanos could ever be replicated again (nor if they did 'would have to') but considering how
the Red Skull is still around, I could see 'the Red Onslaught' and the related storyline being adapted esp. if there is enough in-depth characterization to make the danger seem 'more personal' (the inflammatory identity politics having to do with a Nazi supervillian kind of lend themselves to that).

Justin Timberlake's voice in 'my love' reminds me of 'the Bee Gees'.

Blood tests
Hdl 80, too high
CO2 , too high
Glucose too low

But barely
Everything else standard range, even protein and hemoglobin and calcium, despite rarely eating meat, dairy



36 years old and still have not accomplished jack s**t

That is not going to change

In every way, rapidly getting worse

Academically stupid, vocationally incompetence, socially awkward, emotionally fragile, financially broke


There is nothing that I am good at and nothing in like to do

Idiots keep misunderstanding me



Electrodes on their heads

Stupid penis

Electrocution

Make it illegal to say "what"

Too many idiots fact themselves

Court jester

Gasp for breath

Not many things are funny, nor should they be


Will Letchworth penis got shodan Saturday

Ass hole

Sarah told will her husband injured her

She got raped five times

Kayla told Sarah she could sleep in the dojo

Battered spouse shelter



f**k Kayla feder b***h





Five years ago I tried to leave Brandon's class early


Brandon didn't care or react



Kayla had the nerve to tell me off


Oscar Award performance


So I can't leave class early

But Sarah can spend the night?





Plenty of women and men in Berkeley have domestic violence

Marriage

Why don't they all move into the dojo

Uchi deshi





No dogs

No separate men's and women's dressing room

No flapping their stupidass traps, ass holes


No pounding on bathroom door

No ",what"





Too many pompous ass dipshits



No compliments








Exhausted


Ran out of options

Too far gone

Brain damage



Rejected from all the jobs

Expelled from school



Dumped by "friends"



Monopoly


PGE

Ebmud









f**k Rolando Morales penis, Berkeley high school teacher



f**k the spoiled upper middle class brat and it's dad



f**k Amy lee scheel b***h




They act like they are perfect

men

This one person I knew at UT that talked with me I saw today.
His name is Dillian.
Interesting person.
And, I don't know if he is scared of something or just a bit different.
But, he did say he isn't interested in pursuing any relationship with a woman or man from what I remember.
He thanked me for something and left.

All my life, my cousins were told they looked like this celebrity and that celebrity and nobody said it to me. I found it annoying.

I just got a haircut and the old people around me keep bringing up an old singer...

It's annoying cos she's straight...

But I do look tough enough and feel tough enough to tell blokes to back off, I guess.

The idea of on the job training these days, is almost non-existent...

Exhausted all the time

Don't know why

MRI

Some people are just Energizer Bunny

Does not necessarily guarantee there is something wrong with my body

Although I am not in perfect health. Diet, sleep, whatever

But so what?

Few people are in perfect shape and many people work full time

The doctor told me that I was "deconditioned" athletically

Correlation versus causation

Not everyone with a full time job, is in shape

Suspect disease

But fecal occult blood test negative

Whatever disease, require test. Doctors too lazy to do it

Short of winning malpractice lawsuit, you can't do jack s**t

Sore throat

Maybe getting sick

Surprised I didn't get sick earlier

Walking seven miles in the rain

My only friend was sick in December, Feb, and Sunday.

But she has so much stress

All I have to worry about is homophobia

Not much homophobia

Coding boot camp

No job, no school


Need drugs


f**k mister redelings

Some days, like this morning, my brain is awake, alive, energetic, tackling all the various issues and things to do and it feels good. Other days I cannot get my brain working and my work becomes unbearable.

There's a paralympic art world cup this year... Specifically in Tokyo

Not sure if I'm up for it at this moment. Maybe I would, maybe not.

Though I dunno if other country version of registration exists somewhere.

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This haircut was (probably) cheaper than one of those tests and had the same results.

Seriously, I just have one of those faces!

The concept of nothing...

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