What's on your mind right now?

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I have an unpc thought to put on Reddit but I don't have the guts

My mum calls me gorgeous and beautiful. I don't take it seriously because like someone said on another thread on here, parents' love is unconditional. If someone has a butt ugly kid, they're not going to say that to them.

That said, aesthetic appearances are all so superficial anyway as is celebrity culture when it comes down to admiring them on their looks rather than on their talent.

Mum said I looked like Lyra McKee. I'd rather not look like a murder victim...

She also said people will just say I look like any woman with short hair, which is probably true, just because it's rare a woman has a crew cut or buzz cut or whatever it's called. That makes sense because all the women people are saying look drastically different to each other and if it was usual for women to have short hair, we'd notice that as a society. Even I, with my face blindness, can see that. Even the haircuts are different.

But what I mean is, I've only dated one person who said I looked like a famous person and that was specifically because I moaned about not looking like anyone. My cousins both actually look almost exactly like Taylor Swift and wherever they go boys they're dating or mates they're friends with or even frenemies remind them of it. Seriously, my cousin was told 'you look like an ugly Taylor Swift' by her frenemy!

But that's superficial. And they spend hours on makeup and hair in the morning every day just to look like that.

I just remembered why I specifically don't use a certain sub reddit. Some stupid woman on there said 'men aren't your friends'. Not helpful and not true. Only people I don't trust are people with certain politics, the way someone is born doesn't make them trustworthy or not and it's bigoted to say that.

Woke up coughing at 3 am

Getting sick

Now is a good time to get sick



Maybe I will drop dead

Made redundant from all the jobs , that will make the mistake of hiring my worthless corpse


Expelled from all the schools that will take me


Dumped by all the "friends"


$$ running out


No hope

No future



False hope

Resignation


Beyond repair

Wounded

Not going to accomplish jack s**t

Idiots


Some things should go without saying


Sunk costs

Effort justification

Safety in numbers

Autism

Different

Anxiety

Drugs , side effects and $$$


The older I get the more womanly I look and sound

Hormone replacement therapy appointment next Thursday


Maybe they won't prescribe

Because I have no authority


They can do anything they want


Unless you win a malpractice lawsuit, you are completely helpless





Idiots talk too much and too loudly and there are too many of them


Not many things are funny.

Not many things need to be funny


Compliments are manipulative. Just as judgmental as criticism



Leash Law, ozben felek b***h



f**k mister redelings

Sometimes I actually kinda miss the desert.

Yep, I think the idea of searching for employment outside of my current territory has been a very good idea as, it shows to potential employers that, I'm will to relocate if necessary, cause most of the high quality careers, which I trained in are simply not in my area or, tend to have other prerequisites that are outside of my grasp in a manner of speaking.

Getting my mom a present (maybe two) for Mothers Day.

I wonder if it's an aspie thing to massively write out conversations before they happen, or a socially anxious thing (but I don't feel anxious) or a me thing.

I could very easily cause attention on me if I were to completely express myself and that's not what I want, what I want is to make everyone feel cool.

It's ironic I'm finding some sort of image in this when I'm aspie but then I've always been different. I'm the one obsessed with sports, after all. The social roles I find hard are the ones based around hierarchy and obedience to authority. Perhaps it's not ironic after all when I think of what I consider cool and what I consider positive aspie traits.

Basically the theme of this week is: cool...

Without the anxiety, I'd say it's an uncertainty thing. You wanna be certain that you're giving the 'right signals'.


It's just uncertainty is more is a bane against those with anxiety, therefore would rather avoid or solve whatever worries them often in urgency -- and therefore will more likely 'ready' themselves to 'reassure' themselves by reducing worry or the source of possible worries like mistakes and certain situations.
Aspies just crosses with uncertainty with socialization more often.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Taking a look at various occupational choices, as I wonder how well I might do in them in a realistic sense

It upsets me how most people online are rude

SIGH.





Is it possible to be... Fed up with happiness and content? Without seeking risky behavior or staving boredom?
Not to mention the idea of wanting to feel sad yet hopeful -- all without the brooding.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

see below haha

Someone I totally don't have a crush on and who totally doesn't look like a celebrity I totally don't have a crush on who our last interaction was compliments and smiles just deleted a twitter account I totally wasn't looking up to twitter stalk.

Haha.

I was genuinely looking up banter, I swear!

Ooh I totally didn't just find it and stare at it for 5 mins.

A need to visit my school's gym to make up for lost workout time.

Don't want to exhaust my only friend

Monopoly

Ebmud

PGE

Government

Forklift

Roofer

Carpenter

Meps , underwear

Court mandated financial reparations

Slavery, forty acres and a mule

Asking questions just to show interest

Interrogative statement

CIA interrogation

Owe the head b***h Kayla feder b***h , about 600 and Rolando Morales penis did not tell me to leave the building yet

Rolando Morales penis talks too much

Gossip, fingerprints, videocamera

Kayla has to know I go to aikido

Hot flashes

Menopause

Coding

Military basic training

Medical rehab platoon

Hunter garstin

Could go to counseling, but sore throat

Inconvenient bus, after counseling

Some counselors are good, neither, bad

Nothing to do all day long s**t

Get a job

Stupidass restaurant retail sales

Office

Job skills

Personality

Clerical error

Mailman

My body wants to gain weight

After 40th St, it is a ghetto

Anemic

Adventure

Talking is overrated

Hakama looks like a dress


My only friend said she misses Brandon

Not particularly

Brandon is a better person morally than me

And all that BS

But too enthusiastic

Uppity and predictable

So what, Brandon moved to Texas





Jamal moved to new Mexico


Rolando Morales penis is the one that should move


The penis keeps calling me "they" instead of X"he"


Chromosome



Dirty


Apology



Make it up to me, penis








Spoiled upper middle class brat from aikido



Ten "girl" pushups

Torture chamber

Drill sergeant



Flogging

Whipping post


Tawse

Cane

Paddle with holes




And the "instructor" should have let (told) me that I have the authority to, corporal punishment



Not "child abuse"

Euphemism

"Spanking"



In the news, man told his daughter he was going to hit her. She told him it's illegal and she was calling 911. He said go ahead. 911 came and supervised


Everyone has a different number of pain receptors

One cops definition of "child abuse" is not the same as, any other cops definition



Vague





Lil dipshit



Take off your stupidass clothes


Naked


Bend over



Newton's


Tawse






But instead, the "instructor" just chuckled wisely



Used to love the instructor










Later realized he is just like everyone else












f**k Warren pottebaum




f**k Norman link


f**k Rolando Morales penis