What's on your mind right now?

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In the front of my mind is something like "Why am I still here this late?" "I am tired".
The back of my mind is "Am I on the spectrum....?" "Why do so many things make sense at the moment if I am not?" "If I am after being assessed, what then?" and "If I am not what is it?" and "If I am, how can I change things to improve my life?" and "If I am not, what do I do now to try to sort myself out?"
Need to re-evaluate some thoughts on another post that is more relavent... Much easier to write things down.

A need to call my GF even though she usually works late at a restaurant near our school.

End of my rope

Dead end "life"

Bad habit

Addiction

Mustache

No hope

False hope

Fall off slope, wheelchair

Wheelbarrow

Rehab

Anger

Destroyed my "life"

Discipline

Basic training

No friends

No job

No job skills

Homophobia

Autism

Depression

Six diagnosed personality disorders

Over the hill

Fall off the wagon

Off leash dogs at today's job interview

Hepatitis b

Genetic

Contagious

Laughing so hard

Hamster wheel

Breast fat

Social rejection feels like physical pain, in the brain

Crave love and chocolate

Belongings

Facade

Acting

Brain damage

MRI

At 4:30 a.m., I was asleep. Somebody tapped me on the shoulder. (I live alone.)
I looked up. A young man stood over me.
He said, "Your door is open."
I said, "Well, leave and close it!"
He left.
WTF ?????
I got up and locked the door.
I'm discombobulated.

A new word. Discombobulated. New for me. My Mum said it was an old word when I asked her and it means whatever you want it to mean. My mum's a walking dictionary! Much quicker then looking it up on the internet!

6th degree of separation.

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discombobulated
[ˌdiskəmˈbäbyəˌlādəd]

ADJECTIVE
humorous
confused and disconcerted.
"he is looking a little pained and discombobulated"

Nobody reacts to me waking at 4am being poked by a stranger as I sleep?

Need to go to the loo but am feeling tired... Anyone want to go for me? Ok. Maybe not...

My Crush and i always end up talking about deep and personal stuff in a fandom related chatroom. So much that i'm scared that i will get banned for flirting.

I was ~15, still rather 'new' to exposure on this topic. My understanding and takes on it are not the same now.

During a science class, I listened in bafflement and shock as a group of girls explained abortion and the reasons ppl would do it. Next to me a male classmate and I ask him ~"[..] you wouldn't make fun of me if I cried b/c of an abortion, would me?". His response "No [chuckle]. I would call you a softy", before resuming to attentively listen to the classmates talk.

...there is a cruel chauvinism, the sort of poisonous 'don't take that s---t for granted b/c it will f--k up for your life' way in that ~late '06 response. I'm sure or at least deeply hope that person doesn't think the same--I'm still deeply ticked by how that was even a response.

Hindsight.

If you are 18 and use tile cleaner to get a stain out of a favorite blouse, others would say you were out on your own and hadn't learned yet. If you are 38 and do the same thing, others assume you are a busy working mother and grabbed the wrong bottle by mistake. When you are 65 and do the same thing, others think you may be going batty. Please don't tell.

Ball pit of raisin nut bran

Python

Lion

Court jester

Some counselors act like all "hurt" is a Mandated Reporter violation. And all "help" is Purple Heart Award. But "hurt" sounds, physical, illegal, drastic and intentional. Misleading. "Hurt" means negative impact. According to the alleged victim

Same as "help". Idiots say "may I help you?", , as if they dragged my worthless corpse out of a burning building

But all they did was flap their trap

"Help" is not wrong, but grossly misleading

That's like the counselor told me that I was " ill". (Anemic). Exaggeration

But the counselor was a volunteer. "Beggars can't be choosers". Sometimes, "you get what you pay for"


Logical fallacy

Credible

Incredible


"Hot but Psycho"


Brain damage symptoms

Dementia prodrome

Diagnosis

Synapse

Dendrite

Manipulation


My breasts feel large and heavy s**t


Milk ducts

Tissue

Breast fat




Dipshits say "cool", as if they truly believe that they have a moral right to veto anything just because they don't like it

One doesn't actually need optimism and positivity to actually have 'luck' or even a brighter view of life.
And pessimism and negativity doesn't always translate to caution nor worry towards uncertainty, nor stops one from recklessness despite the thoughts of 'worst' of aspects and outcomes. Pessimism is just another force to regulate, a bitter or sour kind sure; a fuel to incline caution and, well, defences; but not always.

... Seriously.
Optimism and positivity is the same way. Another form fuel, another compass direction or inclination towards what might some forms of recklessness would likely do to disregard uncertain thoughts of negative outcomes; again, not always. Optimism is just another raw potential force to regulate, that only tastes way sweeter.



But everyone has their preferences. I do not like sour or hard-bitter, and I don't like sickening sweet. I don't do spicy, though it'll be rare. I like salty better, or a good blend of sweet and sour. Except I suck at cooking and following recipes of vocabulary, especially suck at representing them. Yeah, abstract concepts, 'luck', and heck 'forces' -- flavors, recipes and cooking.
It sounds nonsensical. Yes, I'm hungry.

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