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Depends on size, but last time I did it, just two.

Why is everyone looking for Waldo?

Cause he stole the key to the greater heavens. Everyone wants a piece of it.


Why do some teas tastes like flowers?

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Because we use honey to sweeten it, and the bees left some flowers in their honey mix.

Why do we say table and chairs and not chairs and a table?

Because chair is table's subordinate.
Also because chair is a very defective version of table, thus chair's superior.


Why do birds bother with making nests?

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Well, some creature on this planet has to keep all of the strings in order or the universe will fall apart. Birds know this already, they are waiting for the physicists to catch up.

Why do trees lose their leaves each fall?

Tree Pattern Baldness. It's like male pattern baldness, but it's only temporary and it happens once a year.

Why do we say a "pair" of pants?

Because they only travel in pairs. Have you ever seen a pant out on its own? QED.

It is possible to plumb in a hot water bison?

Depends on the weather and earthquake patterns. Too windy and quaking and nothing will be plumb, not even a hot water bison. But squish it right, and in a corner tight, and it makes great tea.

Why do doors have hinges?

Doors will be unhinged when it loses it.


Why is it that most species of vertebraes have two eyes?

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Because by the time the spiders were finished grabning them all with their 8 legs, there were barely any left. If bug spray wasn't invented we'd all be cyclops.

How did the leopard get his spots?

In stone ages, some aliens commited vandalism... On ancient cats.
The vandal marks altered the cats genes and the rest is history.


Do you fit in a closet?

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Nope. I used to, but then I grew up and the closet gnomes told me I had to leave for bigger spaces. They still let me visit for Thanksgiving and Christmas though.

Which is better, pen or pencil?

Pens, of course. Pencils are just "cilly" pens.

Why are kings so impotent in chess?

If they weren't, queens would spawn pawns.

What is the capital of Assyria?

It's deep in the Rubble of History.

What is Barney's last name?

DeDinosaur (he is really french) Or did you mean Barney Google with the Goo-goo-googlely eyes? Or perhaps Barney Fife?


Are Snap, Crackle and Pop related to Ernie (that Kebler Elf guy)?