Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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feeling hormonal (PMDD) and mentally scattered.

Anxiety

Barely missed the bus and Bart

Back hurt and shoes wet, although that should be expected. And it was my fault. But my worthless corpse rapidly aging. 38 is not that old.

County-wide garbage strike.

Legendary Mexican ranchera singer Vicente Fernández dies at 81 after recent hospitalization.

Source:  This USA Today Article 

I could never understand what he was singing about; but he always made it sound important.

I heard yet another traffic horror story that weakened my resolve to learn driving

Brain fog

Getting that dreaded letter from the Social Security Administration stating that I've just lost ALL of my SSI AND Medicaid benefits. Why? Because how dare I receive an inheritance worth more than their stupid $2,000 "asset limit". Now, not only am I unhappy, but I'm also overwhelmed, confused, lost and freaking out inside and I don't know what to do now. I'm fearful that they'll try to take my inheritance away as well, leaving me with absolutely no money at all with which to survive on. Not a great Christmas, so far.

Knowing that someone actually died of Omicron today.

Anxiety

Life happened again, and I'm slightly sabotaging it myself as well.
A very cool opportunity came by, but I was rejected (or at least not a good fit yet) on the deadline itself which meant that it was too late for the gig itself.

I could've called the person in question earlier today and also continue the rest of the things I wanted to do today, but instead of I just spent the entire day walking around thinking about it feeling slightly anxious while dealing with self-destructive thoughts as well. I don't know if this is what "dissociation" feels like, but it's definitely something that happens to me a lot which caused me to be late in classes back in the day and I could never explain this feeling to anyone which only scared others away as it made trusting me very difficult.

The whole thing with the gig is that it's was not necessarily something I was passionate about, but the timing and place would be perfect. The person in question still would like to work with me, but it's a work field I don't want to be in anymore. I appreciate the offer, though.

I don't know what I want to do with my life anymore, this whole pandemic has turned me into some sort of hermit I was trying to prevent from becoming. I'm trying so hard to escape my comfort zone to the extremes, but whatever force or spiritual nonsense I don't believe in keeps just holding me back in this comfort zone prison I don't want to be in anymore.
It's driving me crazy.

Anxiety

I feel so bad for my 5 y/o niece; she was supposed to have a Christmas party in preschool on Monday, but it got canceled. So my mom and I will visit her with fun games that day, and see if that cheers her up.

Predator carried off my favorite gander.Dogs tracked it for me and I found his remains.
Rest In Peace Big Ben.

Pretty much everyone, Sans my close relatives, are ignoring me. I just can't talk to ANYONE.