What's on your mind right now?

Post Reply New Topic

Trying to stop the inflammation in my body has gotten outta control ,doct6rs not participating in helping me .it seems and has worse days , so it is making it vey hard to live in this skin.

The murderer of my husband 13 yrs ago getting away with it , do to bigotry of san bernardino sheriffs and da ..assisting him / them . 3 people involved . Wnd ongoing harassment by one of them in another chatsite supposably anonymously using irc program and various free emails availabl e across the world

I really envy animals because they've survived for thousands or even millions of years in the wild mainly because they have the instinct to do so, and nobody had to teach them.

Humans need to be taught how to do almost everything, and they learn mainly by making a ton of stupid mistakes first, if they learn at all. And all too often their human teachers need to learn a thing or two.

I was supposed to go to a baseball game tonight but can't seem to shake off enough anxiety to leave my house. (:

New for me this week, in hopes of improving my sleep even a little bit.

1. Once you're up, you're up. No going back to sleep after you've had your meds and taken the dog out, no afternoon rests (sort of like napping, but I never actually fall asleep - but my brain does shut most of the way down, just not quite all the way).

2. Caffeine cutoff is firmly set at 3PM instead of 5PM.

3. Take your bedtime meds half an hour before you plan on going to bed, so you're not lying there awake until they kick in and make you tired.

Maybe if I write it all out like this, it will help me remember it, and making it public might help me feel like I have to stick to it.

Kind of hot today

Heatstroke

Went to unpaid internship interview

Uneventful

And I have gone to that building a lot of times before

Went to the library

Librarian did not bother me

Bed at 9, new usual

Woke up before 5

Walked all the way to the stupidass job interview

Ankles and knees stiff and sore

Senile and heavy


Breasts feel large and heavy

Appetite gone haywire


Yesterday my only friend emailed me and asked if I wanted to go to a comedy show Saturday 8 pm



And want to waste time with her


But 8 pm is too late s**t


And if it's a show, no talking



Kind of felt like did something different today


Although did not


Obsessive compulsive disorder

I saw a bear today, in town, a half-grown black bear, walking down the street and heading into traffic.

I called 911, in hopes someone will help the bear get out of town before he gets hurt or hurts someone and then humans have to kill him.

... People had yet to realize, that they are not their heads.
They are not the product of said heads. And the head is loud and noisy, it's all they hear.
That their heads don't actually dictate themselves, but do believe and claim to know otherwise.

The head isn't 'evil' nor is an enemy of sorts, yet it did got carried away with it's job and end up hijacking lives.
People had yet to realize, that they have power over their heads. That they are worthy. That they don't have to prove themselves to be.

Yet, most people took that statement the other way cause that's how the head translate the words as.
Most people may conclude that; 'stop thinking' or that 'stop caring' or that 'get over themselves' or heck, 'start being dumb' or 'be inhuman and perfect/overly imperfect'.

Again, this is a tricky puzzle because the head is smart -- one cannot outthink one's own head, as much as one cannot outrun one's own feet.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Idiots expect you to have a phone, internet, a car, and free time, at all times s**t

Lil penises act like they dragged your worthless corpse out of a burning building when all they did was flap their stupidass trap

Menstrual, itchy

Feel so old and senile s**t

No interest in anything. That could be a good thing or bad

Fe fi fo fum

Too tired to sit around talking

Lie down and play with phone s**t

Refill prescription

Activated credit card

Nothing to do all day long s**t



And I miss Warren pottebaum but not enough to go to aikido

Aikido is not capitalized

In the dictionary s**t


Before and after, Warren is usually talking to some lil penis like will Letchworth penis

He can only talk to one at a time

No point in going

Middle ages

the funny thing with the trend of feeling-signalling language,
a shallow facade with empty agree-mesuring propaganda
a typical more narcissistical approach of climbing the crabby ladder,
some persistant shovellers of framing valuability of lies,
don't let the cracks behind the maskerade hinder you

At this weird state between internally alexithymic and introceptively aware.

Emotions and thoughts became so subtle... Yeah, I can observe them now better than ever and have control over it even.
Yet it felt so subtle than the usual intense ones I had been dealing with for years and differentiating in between.

It is yet to found out if this is more about some subconscious defensive numbing, or more about expanded yet have yet to exercised thresholds. Or both.


A part of my mind says it's better than the crazy fluctuations and inconsistencies. Another part of my mind misses it.
I'd just take the consequences either way.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.