What's on your mind right now?

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I wonder if, at this stage of my life, I can turn my passions in, any or all of them, if I'm talent or can become talented.

And, if not, what do I WANT to do that isn't a passion of mine? Should I go back to game design? Should I throw myself into the sciences even though I'm getting closer and closer to 40? How will I afford it?

For that matter, can I acquire knowledge like I used to? What can I do to change that if that is the case?

I keep merch moving in and out like a revolving door;
got twenty keys of blow strapped under tha Volvo's floor

I thought I was done with self-harm. I haven't done it for several months (not sure exactly how many), and thoughts of it have been low. But then on Tuesday I was about ready to use a pocket knife on myself (and would have if I'd been at home at the time - fortunately the urge started to fade by the time I got home), and I just broke a plastic clothes hanger, and my first instinct was to see how sharp the broken part was.

In n out restaurant bathroom too loud to bowel movement. Anxiety. Perception

Don't know how to turn off LTE. Expensive

The b***h is spending the night again

Penises girlfriend

b***h told me penis was sick

Melodramatic

"Much Ado about nothing"

Chili's restaurant, strained, rocks , bowel movement (1st time)

Dr Butler is my primary care doctor now

That could be a good or bad thing

Butler is more theatrical than etchiverri

Got to library early and ate too much s**t


Could not find unfamiliar bathroom

Walmart and big ,5, might have already gone 2011


Head down , leaning forward


Once b***h and penis want the bathroom, they have the nerve to kick me out

Ass holes


Nervous and can't relax


Uptight


Only got one friend

She didn't go to aikido last Sunday

She goes 5x week

Addict

Haven't talked to her two weeks

Not much to talk about but feel left out and s**t


Job.interview tomorrow

Often don't go


Haven't decided yet s**t

I don't mean any of this literally, but...

It seems as though some people are on different wavelengths than others, and as a result, even when they attempt to be friendly their interactions result in dissonance, leading to unpleasant interactions. If this is the case they'll never be able to interact well no matter how desirable it would be to interact well.

Funny version: Why not revive the ancient gods of this culture?

Absurd version: Made something something over 300 to 200+ or so pages of graph A6 notebook...
Well, let's just say the graphing paper is less than 60 or so GSM, the outcomes was uneven, is bordered, and the cover is uneven based on the outcome. So... I made a really crude mini notebook.

Not-so-funny version: I feel lazy doing more laundry today. Then my mom and my sister stole more of my laundry supplies.

Happier version: Currently home alone. Yet why am I not just get up and do whatever I want in mind?

Rational version: I've wasted over 2 hours reading random crap in the internet.

Less coherent version: Dunno what the heck I want but-- But nothing! Imma pray for my boss to pass some board exam, and there's this day off tomorrow anyways.
Also the annoying remittance receiver agent had yet to answer at all -- except I got no load to call it. Ah damnit.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

A need to go home and finish homework that is due tomorrow.

Avavrie le vasieél yed,
Xoicall wanoorie na ze.
Croitenoorie el avin mala.
Tes xecon ná in vatera
Xecon vasieélcie.
Via lìitatin gyslwavrie vieche.
Xonoatoorie na aifran,
Te elin le xanoavin aifranin crie.
Shwdion le te medolel vey nafalin
O mel on aeileatin.
Secroiten zoorie zemes,
Seadon sedovit,
Go davarit.

Rational version: I've wasted over 2 hours reading random crap on the internet. - edna

every darn day.

The penis gets on my nerves

When I am in the bathroom it kicks me out

When I am sleeping it wakes me up

"Huh" and "what"

Pressure to eat

Micromanaging

It's girlfriend told me that it was vomiting yesterday

"Much Ado about nothing"

When I was sick it had the nerve to tell me off. Lecture

Then it demands that I drop everything?

Ass hole

Went to hiring event

Uneventful

Not far away, but bus doesn't come often

Bowling alley

Jobs open:. Bartender, mechanic, front desk, Porter, waiter

Six applicants

Don't know how many jobs

One boy wore a good up



The only one that requested mechanic was me

Customer service, angry customers, social

Porter (janitor) dirty

Mechanic, at least I could pick up new job skills




He said they phone at 7 pm

It is now 7 pm and no call

s**t I scheduled the entire day around the bowling alley

But whatever

Usually I reserve Sunday afternoon for my only friend

But she came with her sister to aikido

Same car

Itchy

Even though it is close to public transportation, you just know they're going to hang out alone together


Stupidass b***h hasn't hung out with me for three weeks


Low maintenance


But I wanna see her more

She can talk to her sister whenever she wants


But it felt good that I had something better to do than sit around talking s**t





Apply for more jobs as mechanic

This Friday, Imma go hang out in the cemetery and have some festive picnic.



What could possibly be the best systems I can manage?

Already went down with the medium; the size the content and all of that.
The systems is just one thing I cannot make my mind with.

If I cannot make it before new year, I'd just pull one of my last year Christmas gifts, modify and use it. Or just buy a fresh A6 size bullet notebook.
Or just use my own damn pre-made creations for good instead of putting it in a box.

Or go crazy. Make a A4 size, super crude yet sturdy notebook with tons of pages out of a whole ream of A3 paper. Use the same notebook all over again. Maybe commit 15 mins a day or so writting at it for every night with it.
If I'm really feeling it, make a cover look like it's some sort of cursed book -- or copy the unabridged dictionary title and let it lay around for anyone to pick up. Yeah, I can imagine myself wasting my whole week's worth of salary making something I might've not able to use in a long term, just like the rest I've already done.

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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I'm going to get the sewing machine out soon. Probably waste about 4 hours and knacker myself out in the process. It tends to just spiral out of control.

4 year old child with autism drowned yesterday in an pool in my area. He wandered away from his home and drowned in a neighbors pool. They found him rather quickly, as he had some kind of chip to monitor his whereabouts, but it was still too late.

i feel for his parents.