What's on your mind right now?

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Dr etchiverri made the neuropsychological evaluation sound like an iq test and I was looking forward to it for four weeks. Nina told me that it was to see if I could live alone

Dr etchiverri could send me to a group home

s**t you don't know who you can trust

There was no I Q portion of the test s**t

Nina told me that I am not intellectually challenged or dementia

Could be learning difference but that's academic not medical and I am 36 and not in school

Nina said "regular" instead of "mainstream"

Pap smear

Yeast infection

Eczema

Psoriasis scabies

Menstrual


The penis brought his girlfriend and they are making too much noise

Feel invisible and it could be a good thing s**t

Stressed out lately

Pressure strain

30 min tried and failed third bowel movement

Ass holes came back

Tomorrow morning s**t

I figured out the format I want to use for my stories and reworked the beginning a bit to streamline it and integrate it better with the ending. I really wish I had the skill to do it as a manga, but I'll settle for writing.

Author's Note:
Warning, this may look like a novel but it's not. It's a collection of stories, it's not likely to come out in chronological order.

Basically post-modern, early modern fantasy.

Too much Netflix.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I wonder if my hobbies and childhood are more old fashioned than a lot of people's who are my age because I'm aspie, because my stepdad's older, both or neither.

I do know I have zero regrets about the amount of books I've read or the few video games or movies I've consumed.

And you shouldn’t have regrets.

I’m a 20th century man.....and proud of it!

Well, here I am again, sitting in the same house that I spent the winter in 28 years ago, an empty house, on an empty street. Last time there were 7 dogs and a cat that wouldn't stop meowing until it was in my lap. This time there is a rather unattractive tom cat coming to beg for food only.
It's raining. Last time there were books and drums, I had paper, paint, animals. It's Sunday, nothing doing. I can*t sign into my email or see messages on Facebook using this android, my phone is drying out, last night I dunked it in water hoping to clean the citcuits. It hasn't started since getting soaked 8 days ago.
I left a post on my Facebook page explaining that I can't read oe reply to messages and to reply to my post. Since then I have recieved 2 more, which is a little frustrating.Friends have replied to my post "no land line?" No, landline, just a borrowed phone, a table, chairs, a bed, rain, a cat that runs away.
Well, Greta Thunberg, I didn't fly here, I cycled 1500km and caught a boat and mostly it rained, there were thunder storms and such sh***y driving on the dark rainy roads that I had Freddy Mercury's voice singing " Mamaaa- I don't wanna die" on repeat in my mind, the rest oof the time I kept on repeating the Lord's prayer, just in case I did, just in case there is, just in case they could hear.
Friends are going to phone, sun is going to shine, shops are going to open. My Nokia is going to arrive from the UK. I'm going to fix the antenae and get movies.Going to get a bottle of gas, paper, pen, ink. I'll persevere wirh this cat, I suspect that he is descended from my cat Weenie.
There are hot springs and beaches, borage, mushrooms and maybe it's not too late to find asparagus. There is a fire place, I can use this place for three months. There is a ferry to Tunisia where friends are waiting in Tataouine. There is a ferry ro Malta, I guess I'll visit my father there for the first time. He'll be happy for sure, he's been there for 15 years, pickled on 60mg of Proxac a day, its like talking to an imposter, a droid, jolly, superficial. It's like being in the movie Bladerunner and trying to ignore it.
The phone is going to ring.

How in the hell Im gonna survive the rest of this father-daughter trip I’m on

I got a nameday card from grandma that had the web adress of a diabetes center on the back of it... I wonder if she's telling me to lose weight?

this song is stuck in my head-

I really need to find someone to talk with, not necessarily a therapist but someone in that area. At my old college, I spoke to a guidance counsellor and I kinda miss it as I feel like I need them more than ever. The last one was important as well, but this college is harder.

Also, this term mainly consists of collaboration assignments and I kinda struggle to work with others as I am more of an autonomous individual than a collaborator. I have a good workflow once the ideas start rolling but generally struggle to socialise and contact others.

Last, I have yet to hand in summaries. I don't know how to write them and I can't find the concentration to process all the information from the texts that we have to summarise. I already explained that I don't know what kind of questions to ask and the teachers advised me to even ask nonsensical questions to see if it helps. I know that even if I never hand in my assignments and hopefully compensate the credits with my electives that I still have more theory classes in the future where I also have to write summaries and essays.

I really need some guidance at college. I spoke to the dean and my coach, I originally had an appointment with a student assistent but we had to make new appointments to the point where we never ended up meeting.

domineekee, I really appreciate your long post. It sounds like you are in a wonderful location, but maybe a bit of a struggle to get yourself into a wonderful place to go with it. It does remind me of some of the challenges that I have faced when tripping.

The most extensive wilderness trip I did, there was a point when I thought, maybe we will not get through this. I mostly felt bad for getting my then-husband into this situation. I wasn't worried about myself. If I die on a wilderness trip, that will be the best death I can imagine.

I worry less when I am alone. When I am with others, I feel compelled to take care of them in some manner. When I am alone, it is just me and that is so much simpler.

There are times I have an internal panic at being alone with nothing but my own resources. I meditate in my mind and also by concentrating on one sense at a time and listing mentally these sensations.

I hope your mood perks up soon.

I'm thinking about how I should try and finish the short story I have been stuck on since I don't know when ... and the book of memoirs that I need to edit ... and the musical I have been working on ... and I feel too tired tonight to work on them. I'm thinking about the short work week I have due to Thanksgiving vacation. Tomorrow is busy though ... work until mid-afternoon and then symphony practice in the evening till 9:00.

3 servings broccoli, kit Kat, one quarter serving chocolate

Trader Joe's hummus veggie wrap

Fish emulsion, two servings deli turkey

Two pieces bread, yogurt, apple, almond, carrot, orange banana. Cold f**k. Wasn't even hungry


Prescription appetite suppressant

Electroconvulsive therapy

Memory loss, brain damage, could be a good thing s**t


One hour after aikido started itchy like scabies, scratching


The idiot black belt "sensei" that came last December and told his Lil boy to loiter in the dressing room during class, came. He made me itchy


The cost of aikido is getting higher

Not just $$$ but repressing anger at entitled judgmental arrogant manipulative lil dipshits


Expression

Creative outlet


Itchy as f**k


Only one friend and she used to hang out with me twice a week. Now that she has a job and her sister sometimes comes once every two or four weeks .






Last week, exploding with stupid BS to tell her


Bloated, eating disorder, Purge


But don't get too attached s**t


Reasons why she is not too different from ass holes I hate:


"Cool" , "sucks"

"Why"

Talk too much and too loud

Too enthusiastic

Emotional rollercoaster