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Atonement.

We're all infected by the horrified spirits of those killed though the uncountable years of war. We're all dying as a result and our ancestors can't do anything but look on with a mix of disappointment and despair.

85 minute call with now-adult foster daughter. I have little idea of the culture she lives in...is it generation Z now? Luckily she likes to talk and I am happy to listen.

sister was mad because i'd said something that made her stressed
had a horrible day
left without talking to me
didn't mind too much. she kept delaying, came super late. that's why i told my brother to have the other brother drop him off, because i know she takes forever and only stays a short period of time. what's the point then when i see them once every 2 weeks, if that?

brother angelic as ever
worried about kid's seizures getting worse, broken nose yesterday with nurse despite wearing helmet. that makes 2 times his nose has broken because of seizures.
he had the best nose, like a better version of hedy lamarr (features in general) now it became all irregular shaped and it makes me so sad
pain for nothing
meds keep having to be adjusted
no friends for him
worse life than i had at least i cd talk and read and had friends (even if by normal standards that's less than normal so what, he has nothing)

v depressed for him
im not sure why someone who is better than anyone i ever met has to deal with this . nobody can help him. therapists denying therapy now saying he needs '20 words at least' before they will give speech therapy bexause 'guidelines changed'
last yr their excuse being 'not focussed enough; now that he can focus they made up a new excuse
wtf is the point of only giving speech therapy to kids who already speak 20 words?? you're not giving them anything except a boost in the trajectory they already have going.
what do kids who actually need speech therapy do? oh yes away rot in a corner, be chained and strapped to wheelchairs to make life easier for the ppl who actually are too lazy to do their jobs. they know the kid cant talk and 'tell on them' either.

no point to suicide if the whole reason i want to die is because of his limited life and injustice and disabilities constantly hurting him ..
if i commit suicide he wont even have that one constant person anymore.. just his dad and a dad cant substitute for everything in the same way.

so then what to do? wait it out and rot hoping someone will help? therapists saying stuff like 'fully booked' 'cant come to that region' 'dont have the skill set needed' etc.
any excuse possible, they will give. they want 'barely damaged' kids to help, to make themselves seem better i guess. 'woohoo success story!' yeah because u started with someone already on the precipice, instead of the kids who actually need u.

sincerely worried about what is happening to this country, and by extension, this world.

My phone is old enough to be in kindergarten.

i don't even have a cell phone of any kind, prolly the only adult and possibly the only person period, who lacks cell phone.

me neither ^
so that's two

^^^YAY

Urrgh.... it tajes about half an hour to reply to anything on this old Samson phone and its full of typos I'm buying another Bkacjberry z10 later today for 23 pounds but it wont get here for a week.
Oddly, theres a conversation going on about phones as I post this.

About the country , the Lunatics are in all reality running the asylum .
Am pretty sure .. that in my supposed paranoia . That reality has become so askew , that the criminals are actually now taking things over. Worst part is , am probably . Going to leave this world .While having possession of actual real life court case , police report . Written and recorded proof . Of this happening at low level , police , neighborhoods and judicial , aswell as county , levels of
Of the governance of the local people. DISCLAIMER: in my humble opinion.

Even myths have some root in reality : The MythAlliance.

Dear brain. Or mind. Whatever.

Please, please do not mix up the collected data of observed facts and reality, from collected entertainment's representations.
Despite the same names mainly because the latter is sort of based on the butchered yet popular version of the former, despite both just as less conventional...

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Cabin fever

Stir crazy

Shoes wet in rain

Sprinkling, no tsunami

Felt like lying in bed all day long s**t

The b***h acted so innocent when she kicked me out of the bathroom this morning

Yesterday the penis kicked me out of the bathroom

Kit Kat tasted like a lot of sugar

Habit

s**t

Chafing toes

Itchy as f**k in dojo

Rain, itchy

Only friend told me that she was going to hang out with her sister not me

Priorities

Should make new friends but cost benefit analysis not worth it s**t


Not enough fruit and veggies to eat in jail

Did not want to waste $$$

Have not used credit card yet after cancelling the old one

Have to refill prescription

Annoying

Idiots think I will overdose

Ass holes

Job interview scheduled for tomorrow

Get published

No motivation to do jack s**t

Overcome obstacles

I've pretty much given up on hearing anything back from that program I applied for now. Back to square one - either go it alone, or continue searching (and searching and searching) for something that will provide assistance for someone like me. If I could just have someone come over and help me out for an hour or two a day, that would be loads of help, but I've had no luck finding anything like that that isn't exclusively for the elderly.