What's on your mind right now?

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I'm thinking I'm probably going to rely on text-to-speech a lot during our big family get-together between Christmas and New Year's. It will make things much easier for me, but I'm not looking forward to people's reactions. Not sure how understanding they'll be.

I feel no connection whatsoever with my friends and i'm tired of pretending. I'm only stick ing with them because i don't want to be alone. But'm tired of feeling empty.
Even when get attracted to people i go back to feeling empty and lonely again. Part of me is fine with this though sincs i don't think i deserve the people i actually have a connection with.

Rangers fans judge how people dress a lot

I'm a reverse snob on it tbh

Computers. Windows 10.

twenty seven picea sitchensis pine seedlings are fragile ... not sure weather to give them more water or less water.

Executive processing dysfunction

Sensory overload

Equal employment opportunity commission

Rained for a long time today but didn't get wet

Thankful did not have to drive car

Job interview decent

The penis barked at me while I was trying to fix the washing machine

Ass hole

Prozac doing good. Appetite almost gone


Wanted Dr etchiverri to answer the email

Instead the health educator wrote me an email

Ass hole

Prospective employer had the nerve to call me by my former female name 2016

An easy Google search yields it

Background check not necessary

You have to stop caring about what others think of you and what you MIGHT have done wrong by THEIR standards.

You have to trust what u did was for the best, as far as you knew in the moment.

You also have to remember u are human, and mistakes are allowed (IF u made any in those situations). Especially as the intention was always clear.

THEY didn't have good intentions. However since they have other things in order (organized mind, successful life, friends, etc), their bad stuff (criminal, really), is accepted / justified.

YOU have to forgive yourself for putting them on a 'pedestal' (elevating them beyond what they really were) and forgive yourself for being gullible and stupid.

Actually stop calling yourself stupid, when other, less hurtful words, will suffice. Because every time you beat yourself up, thinking it's accurate and correct, in your head-- others can sense it (somehow) and respond as if you are bad/offensive/wrong/worth bullying/taking advantage of/etc. I think NTs operate on these invisible senses instead of detaching that sense from the person/logic.

I can take the vibe, even be overwhelmed by my feeling, but still treat the person well and decently and give them the benefit of the doubt and respond in a reasonable way . They cannot, and assume I am like that too.

The world is way too confusing to figure out, but the sum of it is:

DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP MENTALLY
DONT RAG ON YOURSELF
(unless u have a method + nerve to commit suicide right away---
in which case, the consequences and pain of the above, will only spur u on and be over then and there.)

DONT LOOK AT YOURSELF FROM THEIR EYES MORE THAN NECESSARY as it will only confuse you, be inaccurate (or not) but impossible to know for sure, impossible to confirm, and will keep u sinking in the quicksand

THEY DONT LOOK AT THEMSELVES FROM YOUR EYES.

They are irrelevant to who you are THEY SHOULD BE IRRELEVANT to what YOU think of Yourself .
How u get through the day without agony: DONT TORTURE YOURSELF and cushion yourself with self-affirming thoughts (SINCE THATS WHAT THEY DO, and you live in THEIR world).

Apology, courtesy, caring, etc, has been overdone and yielded poison.
They live in a world of extreme borders, 'dog eat dog' , everyone scrounging for themselves* hence cliques tendency-- without a 'tribe' they are easy targets themselves for the 'ravenous dogs]\

their way makes no real humane sense. the other way makes more sense for humanity, but they are incapable of udnerstanding that, they are superiority-complexed and very dangerous at all times.

if someone is nice, they dont just appreciate it, and feel happy, and move on and pass it on to others (the logical thing to do)\\
Rather , they pervert the intention, and
see that as an 'easy target ' , a fool, or someoen weak trying to win their favour (which isnt even in your intentions!)
etc. And this impression lodges in their minds, for future reference (whenever they feel like letting out anger they turn to the fool)

What's left to say around here? I have post counts befitting the newer members around, and I'm pretty sure at least half of that amount is just recycled content. It's like that quote erroneously attributed to Albert Einstein stating "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results."

So most of us are familiar with known knowns the things that we know and understand the significance of; known unknowns - things that we understand the significance of knowing but don't currently know and unknown unknowns - things that we don't understand we will need to know them and possess no knowledge of but I would argue there's a forth category; unknown knowns - things that we know but don't understand their relevance or importance or how they fit into context. Say for example 'There's always money in the banana stand.'

Sitka spruce grow best in the maritime regions of northwestern north america. For seedlings, I would think you woud want well drained soil, but make sure they are in a humid environment. In other words, water in the air for sitka is probably more important that water in the ground.

The penis had the nerve to bark at me

Ass hole

Drama queen



"Much Ado about nothing"

Anticlimax

Ate too much rotisserie chicken

Throat feels greasy and gross

f**k the penis

Sensory processing dysfunction


Glad it didn't rain until after walk

Littlefield concert hall bathroom

Not too tired today

Not sick

Blisters on my feet not bad at all



Idiots smelled like feces on the bus today


But that is to be expected


Can't complain


No kit Kat tomorrow s**t


Prozac is making appetite lower. Great s**t


Prescription have to refill often. Inconvenient.


36 and achieved nothing

f**k my "life"

Brain damage s**t





f**k mister redelings


f**k the penis




Court mandated financial reparations

s**t

Good luck with that . Sincerely.

What.. wait a minute ? Did you say ,, YOU actually got different results

Should I unleash or hold back?

I learned how to make War Water. Supposed to be good for hexing.

Why am I so bad at signals?