What's on your mind right now?

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In an effort to make sure I'm getting adequate nutrition, I already take a multivitamin but will be adding some sort of supplemental nutrition like Instant Breakfast or Ensure for when I really don't feel like eating at all but feel like I can manage some liquid. I hate that I have such a problem with eating, it feels like something that really shouldn't be an issue at age 26, and it makes me feel even more dependent on my family (because if I didn't have my mom making dinner every night and putting it in front of me, I would probably go whole days without eating).

I didn't have this problem until a few months ago. It feels like I'm slowly declining and this is just one symptom of it, and I don't know how to stop it, let alone start actually making some progress. Is it my body saying it's time? Has my body and mind just decided to gradually slow to a stop? Not that I'd particularly complain, I just want to know what's happening.

r

get OUT of my house

saladsaladsaladsalad mmmmmm

injection of Avastin in right lower eye again.

I don't want to be near normal people. I feel like i want to be with people with problems. I feel no kinship with people with normal relationships and can work normally. I want to be somewhere where i belong.

Sick for over one week thus far

Doctor cancelled the appointment for 10, at 7. Didn't find out until arrival. Ass holes expect everyone to be constantly in front of a phone, computer, car, internet, free time.

Fix the alarm

Fix dryer

Fix front door

Coughing a lot

No incoming emails from work, positively

Just rejected

Social and vocational

Edgy

Could use a slave or servant

Military discipline

Belonging, respect

Felt like all the strength drained from worthless corpse

"Miscommunication" PGE turned off

sister keeps pulling rank on me

Hierarchy

Oppression

36 accomplished nothing

Lazy, motivation, executive processing dysfunctional

Clinical depression

Wasting resources, a waste of

"Life"

Deaf, "huh" "what"

The older I get the more it seems like things that appear good are not worth the energy it takes to approach

Things that appear bad are not worth the energy it takes to avoid

Excited, enthusiastic

Precious lil "people"

Misanthropic

Stigma

It is better to fail to move forward than to succeed at moving backward


Apathy

Prozac

"Cool"

Manipulative arrogant judgmental entitled precious lil "people", please do not "be true to yourself"

"Much Ado about nothing".

Jock itch

Bad hygiene

Psoriasis

Eczema

Scabies

Routine ritual

Meaningless

Going nowhere

what do you expect?

Do not say "huh" or "what" to me . "Excuse me"

"Actions speak louder than words"

Every day the same thing

Ad nauseum

Going crazy

Went crazy a long time ago

MRI


s**t I will never forgive them

Homophobic lil dipshits

Can't complain

Wishing was on the moon

My memory is only declining since having had ECT, not improving toward getting back to normal like it's supposed to. And it feels like my body's whole system is slowing down. Feels like I'm declining in both body and mind. But I can't really explain it any better than that, so if I went to the doctor, they'd probably just have a look at me, say everything seems fine, and send me on my way - so should I bother? I really don't want to come off as a hypochondriac or something and be promptly brushed off. Would there be anything they could even do even if I am steadily declining for some unknown reason? Is this maybe some weird depression thing I haven't experienced before?

I'm not vegan and I have no intention to become vegan, but I remember someone I considered a 'PETA-nut' saying enslaving animals was the first mistake we made and it doomed us to all of the ones after I disagreed, I get it now but I might be interpreting the idea differently.

Besides the fact that it's the source of many of the illnesses we suffer (flu, cold, chicken pox, etc.) it also allowed for significant wealth concentration by the ability to own a large amount of livestock. This resulted in societies
becoming stratified as cultural/political/social elites began to emerge and the rest of us have been fighting (and regularly dying en masse) over their* problems ever since.


*cultural/political/social elites

And the irony that veganism is only available as a choice because of meat-eating ancestors who built a society that could produce crops to feed humans adequately. You can't gather enough plants, you'll need to hunt - but if you hunt well and can settle down eventually you can get a broad enough nutritional profile that you can stop eating meat, but in order to become a farming society, at some point your ancestors will have needed to eat meat. If we never started farming it wouldn't be possible to not rely on animal products.

I want to get rid of this attachment and find someone else to Crush on. I don't even feel like i can be myself with him. Just the image i create.