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AquaineBay
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03 Feb 2020, 2:59 pm

Whether I should stay in my social group or leave. I have been thinking about leaving for a while but, my mother and some staff there wanted me to stay. I had a 2 month period where I didn't go(due to issues I was having) and I finally came back.

One of the staff vouched for me to stay and even held off discharging me from the program. I came back because of that person and then said person said they were quitting the program pretty much a week after I came back. Now if said person wasn't there I most likely would have left cause I didn't feel like I was benefiting much from it(my objective was to get along better with my peers and yet I feel more like a mentor than a peer which is not what I want and I was hoping that with that particular staff member help I could change that.)

After that person leaves I feel like I'll just be going through the motions of going there with no real objective in mind and really just wasting my time.


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03 Feb 2020, 3:44 pm

How corrupt, false, and destructive people can be and it's just accepted.


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Edna3362
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03 Feb 2020, 4:57 pm

blooiejagwa wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
This whole month is just... Crappy.

You know what? If I have my energy levels right, I'm gonna decide that I won't be giving it away.
I should stop compulsively give out and help others when it is so. I realize this, the unconscious and a light facet side of myself that my ego credits herself for.

I'm just gonna use this energy into helping myself transition to a healthier habits in long terms, than compulsively help someone in some situation in short terms.
People can take the damn care of themselves. I have to take care of myself. I have to learn the self-care of energy accounting if you guys know what I mean.


That was mentioned in Rose Guedes' blogs and video (now goes by 'dreamerqueen' or 'scarlit rose ashcraft' if you want to google) in case you want to read about it from another person's perspective. Personally I always find it very helpful to do that.

She allots 'spoons' (like forks, but for Autism... forks are for chronic illness related stuff)
for tasks, activities... and estimates how many 'spoons' she uses up in which activity.
Because day-to-day energy is finite. Even moreso when our brains invest more into tasks/thinking and the world won't accommodate that... which messes up the whole order of things...maybe in 'the olden days' or farming communities etc, that was more doable, but modern life is a treadmill of varying paces that you have to adjust to...and you can fall off the treadmill easily if you miss a step.

So her way is like trying to regulate her pacing and resting so when she DOES go on the treadmill, she had more attention and energy so she doesn't miss a step as often (and therefore falls off less)... I think I put that correctly? She does a better job.

For spoons, she plans the week accordingly.
If too many energy spoons are used up, she knows to rest (allot a time to) before she reaches the stage where she plunges into a meltdown or shutdown (although those still happen to her --not as bad as before she tried this ---she has chronic illness too)

But yeah, I do stream roll through the ammos I already have in hand. Not entirely out of carelessness, or so I tell myself.

It's just my own idea of how I would've want living a life is very, very lax and spontaneous as opposed to planned. But that's not entirely how my body is built for apparently, as much as I would've want to take it for granted.

Have you ever seen an aspie who just refuses to rely on order, routine and predictability let alone dependent on one's assurance and sanity? That's me.
Not just from my own idea of how to live a life but also my own pride not needing and wanting much of an aide. Not wanting to slow down and not wanting to be slowed down.


I'm still processing this to be honest. I've only recently graduated from the label-works, now I work my way up beyond that.
I'm also still processing the transition beyond the lessons and tastes of pride and power.
Better now when I still have the resources, the means and what's left of my current self than wait to plunge into a point of no return, old age forced surrenders and regret or some tragedy to happen.


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funeralxempire
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03 Feb 2020, 6:33 pm

Edna, on some level if you can't adapt to moderating your use of your own energy, you'll have no choice but to adapt to dealing with the consequences of it. In the long run you'll likely find the balance point between always investing energy into being aware of energy expenditure and being constantly exhausted from over-spending it. That said, the more effort you need to put into self-monitoring, the more of your energy is being consumed on trying to avoid hitting your limit, so hopefully over time this because less of an effort as well.


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blooiejagwa
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03 Feb 2020, 7:11 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
blooiejagwa wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
This whole month is just... Crappy.

You know what? If I have my energy levels right, I'm gonna decide that I won't be giving it away.
I should stop compulsively give out and help others when it is so. I realize this, the unconscious and a light facet side of myself that my ego credits herself for.

I'm just gonna use this energy into helping myself transition to a healthier habits in long terms, than compulsively help someone in some situation in short terms.
People can take the damn care of themselves. I have to take care of myself. I have to learn the self-care of energy accounting if you guys know what I mean.


That was mentioned in Rose Guedes' blogs and video (now goes by 'dreamerqueen' or 'scarlit rose ashcraft' if you want to google) in case you want to read about it from another person's perspective. Personally I always find it very helpful to do that.

She allots 'spoons' (like forks, but for Autism... forks are for chronic illness related stuff)
for tasks, activities... and estimates how many 'spoons' she uses up in which activity.
Because day-to-day energy is finite. Even moreso when our brains invest more into tasks/thinking and the world won't accommodate that... which messes up the whole order of things...maybe in 'the olden days' or farming communities etc, that was more doable, but modern life is a treadmill of varying paces that you have to adjust to...and you can fall off the treadmill easily if you miss a step.

So her way is like trying to regulate her pacing and resting so when she DOES go on the treadmill, she had more attention and energy so she doesn't miss a step as often (and therefore falls off less)... I think I put that correctly? She does a better job.

For spoons, she plans the week accordingly.
If too many energy spoons are used up, she knows to rest (allot a time to) before she reaches the stage where she plunges into a meltdown or shutdown (although those still happen to her --not as bad as before she tried this ---she has chronic illness too)

But yeah, I do stream roll through the ammos I already have in hand. Not entirely out of carelessness, or so I tell myself.

It's just my own idea of how I would've want living a life is very, very lax and spontaneous as opposed to planned. But that's not entirely how my body is built for apparently, as much as I would've want to take it for granted.

Have you ever seen an aspie who just refuses to rely on order, routine and predictability let alone dependent on one's assurance and sanity? That's me.
Not just from my own idea of how to live a life but also my own pride not needing and wanting much of an aide. Not wanting to slow down and not wanting to be slowed down.


I'm still processing this to be honest. I've only recently graduated from the label-works, now I work my way up beyond that.
I'm also still processing the transition beyond the lessons and tastes of pride and power.
Better now when I still have the resources, the means and what's left of my current self than wait to plunge into a point of no return, old age forced surrenders and regret or some tragedy to happen.


Im much like you in both of these aspects...

in a video i made about 'odd' seeming things ASD people might do (to explain reasons why)... First thing i said was I have a lot of pride so it's hard.

But it's necessary. Congrats for articulating it all to such a degree. You're obviously very astute and self-aware.

Having kids forced me to realize (failures staring u in the face + urgency)...
I 'surrender' over time more n more till now I just say it straight and get over my delusions of independence. I need other people's assistance with basic things SO badly and it was like that since grade 4 I think. My brain's frozen somewhere there, in many respects.
My dad is like u even more...things can NOT be planned... he struggles ... Our whole lives have been constant moves and hiccups and unplanned things because of him.. I really think my parents shd not have had kids


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03 Feb 2020, 7:12 pm

A need to finish a class assignment that is due this Thursday.


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03 Feb 2020, 7:55 pm

I feel so very different from the average female autistic. I was diagnosed in childhood and had a proper diagnosis the first time, I can't "mask" beyond trying to keep to more subtle stims in public and removing myself from situations before a meltdown happens, I have no GI issues, my obsessions have almost all been considered "odd," I'm not creative in any way, spent most of my life in near-total social isolation... pretty much everything people say is supposed to be true of female autistics is not true of me. For the record, I don't really fit in with male autistics either, yet I have no doubt that I actually am autistic - just not stereotypically so.


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03 Feb 2020, 8:18 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
I feel so very different from the average female autistic. I was diagnosed in childhood and had a proper diagnosis the first time, I can't "mask" beyond trying to keep to more subtle stims in public and removing myself from situations before a meltdown happens, I have no GI issues, my obsessions have almost all been considered "odd," I'm not creative in any way, spent most of my life in near-total social isolation... pretty much everything people say is supposed to be true of female autistics is not true of me. For the record, I don't really fit in with male autistics either, yet I have no doubt that I actually am autistic - just not stereotypically so.


ASD varies too greatly. It's good that you articulated it like this as you know where u stand anf can reiterate that to others including Professionals if need be. That's half the struggle... Just realizing everything n putting it into clear words too


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IsabellaLinton
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03 Feb 2020, 11:42 pm



Who remembers Clackers?


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kraftiekortie
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03 Feb 2020, 11:45 pm

I had those.



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03 Feb 2020, 11:52 pm

Image

This was my only toy at my auntie's house, but I loved it.


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04 Feb 2020, 2:29 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Who remembers Clackers?

i bruised the sheet outta my forearms and almost took an eye out with those bloody things.



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04 Feb 2020, 2:30 am

blooiejagwa wrote:
How corrupt, false, and destructive people can be and it's just accepted.

QFT. :star:



kokopelli
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04 Feb 2020, 2:54 am

auntblabby wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Who remembers Clackers?

i bruised the sheet outta my forearms and almost took an eye out with those bloody things.


I've never even heard of them.



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04 Feb 2020, 4:16 am

kokopelli wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Who remembers Clackers?

i bruised the sheet outta my forearms and almost took an eye out with those bloody things.


I've never even heard of them.

you didn't miss anything at all.



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04 Feb 2020, 2:50 pm

Anyone happen to know if posts on tumblr have some kind of report -function? I've been seeing some racistic posts lately and would like to see if the ones running the site would be willing to do something about it...