What's on your mind right now?

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That's been scientifically proven with brain scans. Psychopaths too though their intelligence is v focused too

Same old, same old - just still desperately wishing I had a terminal illness so I wouldn't have to do the job myself.

Don't think that way. Even though it's valid and justified.

It's a deep deep hole to be in, and we need to keep climbing even if we fell multiple times into the muck and sludge.

It gets easier the higher up you climb is what I've been told.


Not in a worldly way (height) but time and keeping at it trying not to slip and keep our sights on better things and thoughts...
We can boost each other up eh?

speaking from personal experience, terminal illnesses suck big wind. it makes one rather bear the ills one has, than fly off to others one does not have.

It's just that so many times I've managed to climb to what I think is the top and when I stop to take a breather, the ground collapses underneath me and I'm back at the very bottom. That's the problem with depression that's cyclic like mine - just when you think it's gone, it comes back and shoves you down. I think I've done that so many times now with so many attempted treatments that I'm wondering what the point is in getting back up. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

No job, get a job, but no job skills. Wierd personality. Fired a lot of times.

Worried about PGE turning off the lights

Paranoid about getting rejected from government benefits

Three weeks later, land surveyor apprenticeship program admission test. Math and English, no problem. After flunking structural engineering. But driving is like, nonverbal learning difference and executive processing dysfunctional. And driving when tired and sick after work. Driving long distance in rough terrain. Driving land surveying truck. Driving in heavy traffic. Paying attention. Social aspect. Getting wet in the rain. Itchy. Poison ivy and oak. Cold temperature. Carrying heavy expensive equipment. Annoying co-worker.

But whatever. Not guaranteed admission to apprenticeship. And the school is kind of far away to take the bus. If it's before or after regular business hours

But love the job stability and math involved



Land surveyor, close to architect and civil engineer



Land Surveyor is as close to structural engineering as I will ever get s**t


But lazy motivation, executive processing dysfunctional



Right thigh sore, injection today

But it's not usually this sore

Itching this morning, after paying the bills

Dickwad dropped dead last week and it is still getting on my nerves s**t



"be all you can be in the army reserve"


Filibuster


Last resort

Stigma

Invisible, ignored


Suspect brain damage


Exhausted all the time s**t


36 midlife crisis


Nothing accomplished


Appetite going haywire


Every day eat way too f*****g much s**t


False hope, no hope

Panhandling, loitering

Love.



Lazy,

Creative



Friend, job, hobby, goal


Delusion, despondent, misunderstood,


Bobby pin in ear feels awesome s**t




Self actualization


f**k mister redelings


Wanna talk to someone but miscommunication

No plans or goals for "life"




I wanna shoot myself s**t

I know Im the same. The 'time of the montj' (a day or two prior) is the worst. Its good to let it out here as this is the least nasty forum i have ever found online.

I am happy your family isnt pressuring you. Depression is big. That can make ppl homeless easily..

I read that there are cities slowly taking on creating small homes for homeless war veterans so they have a fresh start. Which is good but ought to be implemented on a larger scale.

Surely depression and PTSD is the main factor in soldiers who are supposedly the strongest of society, having to deal with things like that.

I'd really like to make a Bohemian blanket fort.



Has anyone made one?

when i was a little kid i used to go "camping" in my bedroom by draping a blanket between my dresser and my bed, and then putting a pillow and a little lamp in "there" and pretending to camp.

choose one-
pretend to camp in one's house by putting a bunch of fake outdoorsy stuff indoors-
or
go to work

^ Sounds perfect to me. I had an old rotary phone, a turntable, a broken electric skillet that I pretended to cook in, and lots of pillows, toys, plushies, etc. That's where Elton John and I lived when we were married for eight years.

Definitely #1 -- camp indoors.

choose one-
eat almond butter mixed with dark chocolate and a touch of sea salt
or
good old fashioned clam chowdah?

I'd rather fall off a cliff into a pit of earthworms bearing razorblades, than eat dark chocolate.

#2 please

cashew butter mixed with english milk chocolate and a touch of sea salt
or
a scottish pizza with smoked salmon on it

The first one!

Get a foot massage from a stinky naked brute

or

Get a back massage from a grizzly bear

Swagbucks is slowly becoming a write off for me. I'd rather work on things that I can make money selling.

What was on my mind right now, whether to order or not to order ashwaganda-powder. Considering that I have a below average blood pressure when in rest, it might give a too low pressure.

Last edited by Sigbold on 09 Feb 2020, 12:21 am, edited 1 time in total.