16 Feb 2020, 11:49 pm
Plenty of applicants with worse diagnosis than me got denied from government benefits.
Plenty of applicants with more jobs skills and better personality than me, don't get the job
Far be it from me to get either one s**t
Deceptive appearance
Overreaction
Counterintuitive
Forgiveness
Move forward
Itching, frequency intensity duration rapidly getting worse s**t
Some articles claim that old age causes dry skin
But I am only 36 s**t
Diseases, $$, social, emotional, everything rapidly getting worse and it was never that great in the first place
Yeast infection
Eczema, limits job options s**t
Job options already limited by autism, exhaustion, no car, no job skills
Land surveyor test next week
But driving long distance, rough terrain, class A
Eczema, rain, cold, touch a lot of dirty things
Not an office job
Restaurant jobs cold f**k
Touching Rolando Morales penis for a couple of seconds makes me feel like scabies
Don't want to find out what touching raw meat forty hours a week feels like s**t
Going through the motions s**t
Rash
Graceful degradation
Considering going to counseling on weekdays because two out of four weeks, Saturday counselor gone
But transportation on the way back
Gorging out of control every single day s**t
Listen to music
Hug, love
Melodramatic
Overreaction
Midlife crisis, nothing accomplished
Lazy
Exhausted all the options a longfuck time ago s**t
" be all you can be in the army reserve"
16 Feb 2020, 11:51 pm
auntblabby
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Location: the island of defective toy santas
16 Feb 2020, 11:59 pm
ok 
17 Feb 2020, 6:04 am
17 Feb 2020, 3:15 pm
dragonsanddemons
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
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17 Feb 2020, 8:23 pm
Just thinking about how many people have terminal illnesses who deserve it so much less than me 
funeralxempire
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Age: 40
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17 Feb 2020, 8:40 pm
You're not arranging multiple follow-ups for the same reason, are you? If not, you're fine.
Wait, you're stuck with a chronic condition that won't kill you and worried about those folks who have been told they'll soon see the light? Right now some of them must be feeling, 'at least this will kill me instead of leaving me alive while harming every aspect of my life until death finally comes around to mercifully take me'. Who has it worse is entirely a matter of framing.
That said, dwelling on one's own victimhood, or that others have it even worse both serve as distractions from accomplishing whatever you might be able to.
17 Feb 2020, 9:10 pm
dragonsanddemons
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
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Posts: 6,659
Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan
17 Feb 2020, 10:02 pm
Wait, you're stuck with a chronic condition that won't kill you and worried about those folks who have been told they'll soon see the light? Right now some of them must be feeling, 'at least this will kill me instead of leaving me alive while harming every aspect of my life until death finally comes around to mercifully take me'. Who has it worse is entirely a matter of framing.
That said, dwelling on one's own victimhood, or that others have it even worse both serve as distractions from accomplishing whatever you might be able to.
I've just been thinking that I, who actually want to die but don't want to do the deed myself, could have some terminal illness instead of someone else. Like maybe there's some sort of balance, so if I had a terminal illness, someone else wouldn't have to. But then again, I can at least tell myself that because I'm struggling so much with depression, maybe someone else doesn't have to.
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,591
Location: the island of defective toy santas
17 Feb 2020, 10:11 pm
Wait, you're stuck with a chronic condition that won't kill you and worried about those folks who have been told they'll soon see the light? Right now some of them must be feeling, 'at least this will kill me instead of leaving me alive while harming every aspect of my life until death finally comes around to mercifully take me'. Who has it worse is entirely a matter of framing. That said, dwelling on one's own victimhood, or that others have it even worse both serve as distractions from accomplishing whatever you might be able to.
I've just been thinking that I, who actually want to die but don't want to do the deed myself, could have some terminal illness instead of someone else. Like maybe there's some sort of balance, so if I had a terminal illness, someone else wouldn't have to. But then again, I can at least tell myself that because I'm struggling so much with depression, maybe someone else doesn't have to.
you'd be amazed at the number of unpublicized "passive suicides" there are all around us. by that, i mean people who slowly kill themselves by being "accident-prone" [iow imprudently slapdash in their physical comportment], chronic poor diet, chronic risk-taking.
funeralxempire
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Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 30,172
Location: Right over your left shoulder
17 Feb 2020, 10:22 pm
Wait, you're stuck with a chronic condition that won't kill you and worried about those folks who have been told they'll soon see the light? Right now some of them must be feeling, 'at least this will kill me instead of leaving me alive while harming every aspect of my life until death finally comes around to mercifully take me'. Who has it worse is entirely a matter of framing.
That said, dwelling on one's own victimhood, or that others have it even worse both serve as distractions from accomplishing whatever you might be able to.
I've just been thinking that I, who actually want to die but don't want to do the deed myself, could have some terminal illness instead of someone else. Like maybe there's some sort of balance, so if I had a terminal illness, someone else wouldn't have to. But then again, I can at least tell myself that because I'm struggling so much with depression, maybe someone else doesn't have to.
I've certainly been there myself and understand the appeal and logic, but at the same time, would you wish your cards showed up in someone else's hand, so you could deal with another fate instead? You know, to maintain balance? At least you're familiar with the struggles you've been dealt, someone else might have been broken by them years ago, they might have struggled far more with them.
But besides that, as long as you're alive you do things, most of them small and mundane, but even those sometimes make things easier for another in a moment when they really need it. Even something that might seem counter-intuitive like leaving a miserable post might benefit someone, because it gives them a moment to put their own suffering in perspective and whether they try to help you or just get distracted from their own feelings for a second, the former will likely make them feel a little better and the latter will at least get their attention on to someone else and remind them that they're not alone.
funeralxempire
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Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 30,172
Location: Right over your left shoulder
17 Feb 2020, 10:23 pm
Wait, you're stuck with a chronic condition that won't kill you and worried about those folks who have been told they'll soon see the light? Right now some of them must be feeling, 'at least this will kill me instead of leaving me alive while harming every aspect of my life until death finally comes around to mercifully take me'. Who has it worse is entirely a matter of framing. That said, dwelling on one's own victimhood, or that others have it even worse both serve as distractions from accomplishing whatever you might be able to.
I've just been thinking that I, who actually want to die but don't want to do the deed myself, could have some terminal illness instead of someone else. Like maybe there's some sort of balance, so if I had a terminal illness, someone else wouldn't have to. But then again, I can at least tell myself that because I'm struggling so much with depression, maybe someone else doesn't have to.
you'd be amazed at the number of unpublicized "passive suicides" there are all around us. by that, i mean people who slowly kill themselves by being "accident-prone" [iow imprudently slapdash in their physical comportment], chronic poor diet, chronic risk-taking.
I've been 'passively suicidal' my entire adult life and i've accomplished about as much towards that goal as all the rest of them.
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,591
Location: the island of defective toy santas
17 Feb 2020, 11:05 pm
Wait, you're stuck with a chronic condition that won't kill you and worried about those folks who have been told they'll soon see the light? Right now some of them must be feeling, 'at least this will kill me instead of leaving me alive while harming every aspect of my life until death finally comes around to mercifully take me'. Who has it worse is entirely a matter of framing. That said, dwelling on one's own victimhood, or that others have it even worse both serve as distractions from accomplishing whatever you might be able to.
I've just been thinking that I, who actually want to die but don't want to do the deed myself, could have some terminal illness instead of someone else. Like maybe there's some sort of balance, so if I had a terminal illness, someone else wouldn't have to. But then again, I can at least tell myself that because I'm struggling so much with depression, maybe someone else doesn't have to.
you'd be amazed at the number of unpublicized "passive suicides" there are all around us. by that, i mean people who slowly kill themselves by being "accident-prone" [iow imprudently slapdash in their physical comportment], chronic poor diet, chronic risk-taking.
I've been 'passively suicidal' my entire adult life and i've accomplished about as much towards that goal as all the rest of them.
if one doesn't change, it can come sooner than one may think.
18 Feb 2020, 12:58 am
18 Feb 2020, 1:00 am
18 Feb 2020, 1:15 am
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