I'm reading 'The Complete Guide to Aspergers' Syndrome' at the moment, so fegging heaps! So much so that I'm struggling to come up with a single thing.
I did see a direct correlation between my 'special interests' and a release of anxiety yesterday. This is a bit lengthy so bear with me:
I had my guitar serviced and walked down the street to pick it up. Walking back home, in the space of 5 minutes I:
-Was next to a truck as it released its' air brakes
-Got stuck at a level crossing while the boomgates were down, next to the bell thing making a hell of a racket
-A bit dazed, was walking down the street strumming the guitar when a car drove right up behind me and the driver laid on the horn (my fault for being on the road,)
-A diesel train let off its' horn as it went past, RIGHT as it passed me
-I stopped under an overpass with awesome acoustics and started to play the guitar, which was absorbing until
-A bike rider came up behind me and startled me with his bell.
I was pretty much in tears at this point...
But then I got home, plugged my guitar in, HEAVY distortion, recorded a riff based on that emotion
Recorded some drums
Recorded vocals
I noted even after about 10 minutes that I simply didn't feel the hatred and hurt anymore. It isn't just enjoyable but therapeutic.
So the thing I learned... Creative output has the capacity to solve the emotional unrest of sound sensitivity. In the absence of a partner, music is truly my connection to the outside world. I've known this for a long time, but in the context of AS, which I am still wrestling with, it makes sense on a much deeper level.
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What's your favourite meal?
_________________
How did I get here tonight? What am I doing here?
How did I reach this state? How did I lose my sight?
I'm lost! I'm freaking! And everybody knows!
Everyone's watching!
So here... Are my hopes and aspirations
Nothing but puke
God, I'm so loooooonelaaaaaaayyyy
*power stance, air guitar*