What's on your mind right now?

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Being told that I give "stupid" advice.

Thanks a million for your gratitude.

The time my mom was pissed because I was a satanist(well I am now to, I explored some different paths but came back to it)....now she's not even a christian, she likes yoga and eastern buddhism sort of stuff and she's a better person since she stopped going to church. Interesting.

My wall calendar that I got for Christmas this year has Grumpy Cat, may she RIP, spending April wearing bunny ears in a basket with the caption "Spring is here. I'll be inside".

I don't think when the calendar was made they knew just how true that would turn out for most people, except they don't necessarily want to be.

I know spring has arrived where I live when I see how bad the cracks and potholes on the roads have become. Other than the days getting longer it's about the only sign of spring around here. By the time it starts to really feel like spring it's almost summer.

I'm the weirdo who wants a brain tumor. Preferably one that can be surgically removed without too much damage to the healthy brain. Even if the damage it's caused is irreperable, it could be prevented from going any further if that was the case. CAT scan/MRI/whatever to locate it, surgery to remove it, recovery time from surgery, and then I can go on with my life. Unfortunately, it being my body, it's probably doing this for absolutely no reason whatsoever and any scans would come back completely clear

Being stuck in the house again after just a month of freedom. After getting the headphones I was going out more and attending my social group more often, now I just lay around and do nothing...again.

I feel like I was in jail for 8 years, got out of jail on parole for a month, and then got sent back to jail for an unknown amount of time. Speaking to people virtually is alright but, it's not fun when I feel FORCED to do so...especially when it's people you could be talking to in person right now.

Michael Jackson and his family.
I could never raise 10 kids.
Esp like that. To the degree of training them to perform, taking them around the country to compete (before a record label sigbed them on), private tutors, music equipment, working multiple low paying jobs.

Also he reminds me of an older cousin of mine who is also a genius and multi-talented. His 2nd born (his first child died after a week) also has Autism severe-ish but now she seems level 1.

Her mom worked hard on her. Her mom is also my cousin.

Just like 2 other cousins of mine got married, 1 cousin was from my dad's side and 1 is from my mom's side.

My mom actually recommended them to each other so she's responsible.

They are very good-looking, and have very good personalities--same with their kids. Everything the lady wears looks like the best thing ever. The man has eyes like my mom's but nicer.

My dad used to go hiking with him when this cousin was a kid and my dad wanted secretly to marry my mom.

I used to be obsessed with them as a child... when I made scrapbooks, I would devote several pages to them, because they seemed perfect human beings in my eyes and had very fun photos.

My XH and I both agreed on naming the 2nd son after the man.
Even XH recognised and admired his personality, character and purity.

This is the one whose whole family died when he was a baby, in an accident, of which he was the only survivor. My mom and he were raised like siblings.

Everyone lights up around these cousins. I feel quite jealous actually. They are friends with everyone else, but I don't know how to interact so I stay quiet.

I guess it reads as not wanting to be there.

It's funny because I am certain their middle child has autism level 1 to 2. The other two cousins also have an autistic child. I think it runs in both sides of the family.

Then this.. This feeling that your mental cup seem to be too small for all the waters you would've want to fill with -- even as far as to function. The cup is supposed to expand with time, so why it couldn't?

What the real reason why it just stops? And even shrink despite the activity?


Or, that, your mental cup should've able to take more than it usually could've, yet finding out it wasn't the case. If not that, having a mental cup that's been constantly half empty for no apparent reason -- as it sometimes drains by itself.

Why can't put a stop to the leak? Why can't just fill the cup and just like that?

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