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blackicmenace
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01 Apr 2020, 9:30 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
Stay out of L&D. Stay out of L&D. Stay out of L&D. Keep repeating that to yourself until it finally sinks in, d&d. People don't want to hear from the exceptions to their generalizations, but you feel the need to post when you find said generalizations irritating. All that does is make there be two irritated people instead of one. Besides, since you don't actually want a romantic relationship, your experience (or lack thereof) doesn't count as far as they're concerned.


I am sorry if what I said upset you. I was not trying to invalidate your experience.


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dragonsanddemons
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01 Apr 2020, 9:35 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
Stay out of L&D. Stay out of L&D. Stay out of L&D. Keep repeating that to yourself until it finally sinks in, d&d. People don't want to hear from the exceptions to their generalizations, but you feel the need to post when you find said generalizations irritating. All that does is make there be two irritated people instead of one. Besides, since you don't actually want a romantic relationship, your experience (or lack thereof) doesn't count as far as they're concerned.


I am sorry if what I said upset you. I was not trying to invalidate your experience.


Don't worry, it's not anything you said that made me feel that way :)


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IsabellaLinton
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01 Apr 2020, 9:58 pm

Being told that I give "stupid" advice.

Thanks a million for your gratitude.


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dragonsanddemons
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01 Apr 2020, 10:11 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Being told that I give "stupid" advice.

Thanks a million for your gratitude.


For what it's worth, I don't think any of the advice you've given me is "stupid."


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


blackicmenace
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01 Apr 2020, 10:37 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Being told that I give "stupid" advice.

Thanks a million for your gratitude.


For what it's worth, I don't think any of the advice you've given me is "stupid."


For what it's worth, I too am happy to see Isabella's advice. She is a treasured member of these forums and I personally look forward to her open minded and unique perspective.


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funeralxempire
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01 Apr 2020, 10:51 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Being told that I give "stupid" advice.

Thanks a million for your gratitude.


Isn't that a common response when you tell someone the advise they need to, but don't want to hear?


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funeralxempire
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01 Apr 2020, 10:59 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
Stay out of L&D. Stay out of L&D. Stay out of L&D. Keep repeating that to yourself until it finally sinks in, d&d. People don't want to hear from the exceptions to their generalizations, but you feel the need to post when you find said generalizations irritating. All that does is make there be two irritated people instead of one. Besides, since you don't actually want a romantic relationship, your experience (or lack thereof) doesn't count as far as they're concerned.


It might not so much be that they don't want to hear it, as they find it distracting. If they're already pretty certain they're looking at yet another horse, they don't want to hear about how it might be a zebra, or how once it was a zebra, or how sometimes it's a good chance it's a zebra; they just want someone listen to their complaints about the damn horse they've already identified from their greater experience in the field of hoofed mammal spotting.

None of the points made about zebras are incorrect, but they're contextually irrelevant. Especially when the person talking about them also has repeatedly stated they don't even care about being involved in that activity. Even if the intention isn't to be aloof, if someone openly states having no interest in pursuing romantic relationships it's going to make those who do have an interest skeptical about if the person giving advice even gets the situation to begin with.

It's likely to leave the person who's venting feeling invalidated because they just want to talk about the details of some specific horse and now they're being told 'well are you even sure that was the correct equid?'

On a completely unrelated point, who wants to play some Zoo Tycoon? Image

Also, my apologies if I took that metaphor a little further than it should have been.


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I was ashamed of myself when I realised life was a costume party and I attended with my real face
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


IsabellaLinton
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01 Apr 2020, 11:24 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Being told that I give "stupid" advice.

Thanks a million for your gratitude.


Isn't that a common response when you tell someone the advise they need to, but don't want to hear?


Not really. Just from this one member.

I don't give advice to people unless they ask for it. With this person I have been supportive and compassionate and tried to be a friend multiple times for about two years now, whenever they have a problem and want input. I've gone out of my way to provide reassurance for their anxiety and I've shown a lot of empathy. For whatever reason they don't give empathy back to people, and least of all me. Never a thank you or reciprocal gesture of concern.

Now my advice is "stupid".

They don't have to worry because I'll never care again.


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dragonsanddemons
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01 Apr 2020, 11:42 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
Stay out of L&D. Stay out of L&D. Stay out of L&D. Keep repeating that to yourself until it finally sinks in, d&d. People don't want to hear from the exceptions to their generalizations, but you feel the need to post when you find said generalizations irritating. All that does is make there be two irritated people instead of one. Besides, since you don't actually want a romantic relationship, your experience (or lack thereof) doesn't count as far as they're concerned.


It might not so much be that they don't want to hear it, as they find it distracting. If they're already pretty certain they're looking at yet another horse, they don't want to hear about how it might be a zebra, or how once it was a zebra, or how sometimes it's a good chance it's a zebra; they just want someone listen to their complaints about the damn horse they've already identified from their greater experience in the field of hoofed mammal spotting.

None of the points made about zebras are incorrect, but they're contextually irrelevant. Especially when the person talking about them also has repeatedly stated they don't even care about being involved in that activity. Even if the intention isn't to be aloof, if someone openly states having no interest in pursuing romantic relationships it's going to make those who do have an interest skeptical about if the person giving advice even gets the situation to begin with.

It's likely to leave the person who's venting feeling invalidated because they just want to talk about the details of some specific horse and now they're being told 'well are you even sure that was the correct equid?'

On a completely unrelated point, who wants to play some Zoo Tycoon? Image

Also, my apologies if I took that metaphor a little further than it should have been.


It feels more to me like they're saying "Hoofed animals are horses." and I reply "But I'm an okapi, I have hooves but am not a horse." and then they say something along the lines of "Well, you're so rare you may as well not exist, so I repeat, hoofed animals are horses." Or even "Well, you have some stripes on you, so you don't count."


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


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02 Apr 2020, 12:24 am

The time my mom was pissed because I was a satanist(well I am now to, I explored some different paths but came back to it)....now she's not even a christian, she likes yoga and eastern buddhism sort of stuff and she's a better person since she stopped going to church. Interesting.


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cathylynn
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02 Apr 2020, 12:51 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
The time my mom was pissed because I was a satanist(well I am now to, I explored some different paths but came back to it)....now she's not even a christian, she likes yoga and eastern buddhism sort of stuff and she's a better person since she stopped going to church. Interesting.

Satanists are humanists with a sense of humor.



lostonearth35
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02 Apr 2020, 11:27 am

My wall calendar that I got for Christmas this year has Grumpy Cat, may she RIP, spending April wearing bunny ears in a basket with the caption "Spring is here. I'll be inside".

I don't think when the calendar was made they knew just how true that would turn out for most people, except they don't necessarily want to be.

I know spring has arrived where I live when I see how bad the cracks and potholes on the roads have become. Other than the days getting longer it's about the only sign of spring around here. By the time it starts to really feel like spring it's almost summer.



dragonsanddemons
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02 Apr 2020, 3:28 pm

I'm the weirdo who wants a brain tumor. Preferably one that can be surgically removed without too much damage to the healthy brain. Even if the damage it's caused is irreperable, it could be prevented from going any further if that was the case. CAT scan/MRI/whatever to locate it, surgery to remove it, recovery time from surgery, and then I can go on with my life. Unfortunately, it being my body, it's probably doing this for absolutely no reason whatsoever and any scans would come back completely clear :roll:


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


AquaineBay
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02 Apr 2020, 5:24 pm

Being stuck in the house again after just a month of freedom. After getting the headphones I was going out more and attending my social group more often, now I just lay around and do nothing...again.

I feel like I was in jail for 8 years, got out of jail on parole for a month, and then got sent back to jail for an unknown amount of time. Speaking to people virtually is alright but, it's not fun when I feel FORCED to do so...especially when it's people you could be talking to in person right now.


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02 Apr 2020, 7:43 pm

Michael Jackson and his family.
I could never raise 10 kids.
Esp like that. To the degree of training them to perform, taking them around the country to compete (before a record label sigbed them on), private tutors, music equipment, working multiple low paying jobs.

Also he reminds me of an older cousin of mine who is also a genius and multi-talented. His 2nd born (his first child died after a week) also has Autism severe-ish but now she seems level 1.

Her mom worked hard on her. Her mom is also my cousin.

Just like 2 other cousins of mine got married, 1 cousin was from my dad's side and 1 is from my mom's side.

My mom actually recommended them to each other so she's responsible.

They are very good-looking, and have very good personalities--same with their kids. Everything the lady wears looks like the best thing ever. The man has eyes like my mom's but nicer.

My dad used to go hiking with him when this cousin was a kid and my dad wanted secretly to marry my mom.

I used to be obsessed with them as a child... when I made scrapbooks, I would devote several pages to them, because they seemed perfect human beings in my eyes and had very fun photos.

My XH and I both agreed on naming the 2nd son after the man.
Even XH recognised and admired his personality, character and purity.

This is the one whose whole family died when he was a baby, in an accident, of which he was the only survivor. My mom and he were raised like siblings.

Everyone lights up around these cousins. I feel quite jealous actually. They are friends with everyone else, but I don't know how to interact so I stay quiet.

I guess it reads as not wanting to be there.

It's funny because I am certain their middle child has autism level 1 to 2. The other two cousins also have an autistic child. I think it runs in both sides of the family.


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03 Apr 2020, 5:24 am

Then this.. This feeling that your mental cup seem to be too small for all the waters you would've want to fill with -- even as far as to function. The cup is supposed to expand with time, so why it couldn't?

What the real reason why it just stops? And even shrink despite the activity?


Or, that, your mental cup should've able to take more than it usually could've, yet finding out it wasn't the case. If not that, having a mental cup that's been constantly half empty for no apparent reason -- as it sometimes drains by itself.

Why can't put a stop to the leak? Why can't just fill the cup and just like that?


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