What's on your mind right now?

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american supremacy (combined am-exceptionalism and the myth of progress)
(strange coincidence that sjw-google is also fundamentalist anti-natural) <(money-hint)> (soc-darwinism for trans-humanism)
(dr) who ???? whose dr who?
+ labelism (made in a lab)



not only in america.
instutionalised eggs in baskets
the enlightenment, there's not enough " " to cover
Jean-Jacques Rousseau and the *coughcough* social contract,
as on philosophers corner, do as i preach not as i do
making babies with the maid, having them put out as foundlings and be the "enlightened model" for "human & education" and as well as fake-marrying said maid( hearhear, another book by r; "Rousseau on Women, Love, and Family")
possibly those who desperately want to put the world in a clamp don't want to care for their own doings & consequences


ooorrrrrr also
on the critics front; as a contemporain, Edmund Burke formed an unfavorable impression of Rousseau when the latter visited England with Hume and later drew a connection between Rousseau's egoistic philosophy and his personal vanity, saying Rousseau "entertained no principle... but vanity."
and on the "western front" (nix news): those who have evaluated him with fairness have agreed that he was the finest thinker of his time on the question of civilization

XHs mother. Had to meet her and speak to her yesterday. Wont say any more as i dont want her getting any of my good deeds.

There is a new doggy day care opening about a little over a mile from my house and it's currently under construction. I found the page for it on Facebook and took down the information of the owner (email and phone number) that is listed and I really am torn because I want to contact her when things settle down here with COVID-19 but I'm also worried that I wouldn't have enough time to work with school going on and I know a lot of places prefer to hire people for 30-35 hours a week and I don't know if I could do that. I wish I knew what to do in general but with this situation included (if that makes sense). I'm excited for the upcoming summer and fall semesters and hopefully graduating soon but I'd like to have a job to because my resume is a mess and I'd like to have the extra money and maybe even the possibility of moving out.

My stupidass "friends" won't be bothered to answer the email

2018 aikido instructor moved to Texas. The Facebook says he read the letter but no answer

The 2008 aikido instructor won't as answer the email

The dude that hired me to pull weeds, hasn't emailed for two weeks. He offered to go grocery shopping for me a couple of weeks ago and then could not be bothered. Good thing he didn't offer to pick up prescription.

Aikido classmate told me that it is not "fair" that she got a stimulus check and I didn't. She offered to give me $600. That is tempting, because the only jobs I have had paid minimum wage and got made redundant. After quarantine, it will only get much worse.

But this friend is just like all the other extroverts. "Loose lips sink ships". Her mouth keeps going and going like the Energizer Bunny. She doesn't leave the building until she has had a conversation with every idiot over every slightest mundane BS.

There is no way that she is going to toss me a bone and not tell Kayla b***h or Rolando penis.

If we have a falling out, she might hold $$ against me.

Even if no falling out, the $$ gives her the upper hand in the relationship. Granted, it is not necessary to be equal at all times, but the $$ is just going to give her leverage to use against me. When she wants me to do something I don't want to do.

But she is on government benefits and doesn't have a lot of $$ either so I feel grateful and ashamed that she offered

But anyways I will have to just panhandle $$$$

After quarantine, panhandling less efficient.

Plenty of precious lil "people" stay home and some won't go six feet away from someone.

But whatever

There is something wrong with everything

chop wood and carry water


90 minutes pulled weeds

Nap

Bowel movements

Ate

Stretched

Didn't vacuumed

Exhausted and only 37 s**t

Shelter in place extended until the end of May.

Late body cycles, another screwed up sleep schedule, and now looking the whole month's worth of daily data: no relation between variables.
Explanation? Nothing. It's 'normal'.

If outside factors simply couldn't veer the activity that my body does to itself, either I have to go through more adjustments, require something new, or it's just my usual body or mind cheating on me.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I'm not sure if I'm feeling social burnout after voice chatting with a couple friends or what it is but I feel really bad right now and I don't like it. I think I'll maybe just try to draw for a while or something and then take a shower and have dinner.

My brain feels foggy but i don't know whether feom anxiety or depression or whatever.

I wonder if I can make an album using nothing but my mouth, a microphone and a DAW.
Only Built From Oral Aurals

Five Finger Death Punch might be my least favourite musical act.
Ironic considering that they draw on much of the music I do like as influences.

I wonder how many friendships I've harmed by mentioning not liking Slipknot. I don't dislike them and haven't since high school, but in hindsight I'm curious. There's nothing I don't like about them, but I've also just never liked them, but they seem to have been formative to so many people in my demographic in the same way that maybe KISS was for folks my parents age.

Wondering why I can't sleep

One of the things I started appreciating about different genres using samples is that when more than one artist samples the same bit of video, when you hear that iconic reference on a playlist you sometimes get surprised by the very next sound to come out of the speaker. I fetishize reusing samples from music I grew up liking and I don't imagine I'm alone in that regard, so it makes me wonder if how exponentially this will play out on certain audio samples. Certain movie dialogue, certain melodies and certain drum loops will be absolute standards.

Ironically, drum rudiments are basically short 'loops' that one practises endlessly to piece together most other, more complicated things that one might play, so the only real change is how the noises are made.

I'm getting old man, I'm getting old!

Now of course if we're talking in numbers then 22, almost 23, is still pretty young and you could say that I could still call myself "youth" or "Youngster" (whatever the correct English term is) until at least my 25th.
But I know I'm growing up, or at least I'm trying to some extend.

I'm at this strange intersection where I'm either one of the oldest members of a youth project or I'm the youngest member of the adult project in theatre mostly. I never really realized this until now, but once you're past the youth phase, you basically need to build up a network and start up your own creative projects because past the youth project stage there aren't really options for adult projects for young adults mostly. The more mature projects that I've been in often consisted of members that were about 20-40 years older than me. There aren't really "young adult projects" the young adults I know I theatre either went to become a teacher or maker for youth projects themselves or started up their own group/troupe.

Youth projects are becoming more and more accessible for youth to get in contact with theatre and get a stage to express themselves. But these projects have 20-25 as their age limit and I'm slowly starting to wonder what the options for Millenials are here (if I can call myself that) There are bigger, professional theatre groups that consist of millennial cast members, but these are often already experienced or schooled actors.
What if you're not that experienced or schooled? Let's say you come from a family that was always too poor to enroll you in theatrical classes or projects because they couldn't afford the participation fees. Or you were rejected from theatre school numerous times. You'd have to start up with amateur groups or be lucky enough that you know someone in events or festivals that could get you a spot to put yourself out there. This is where networking skills come in.

I'm not even sure anymore where I'm going with this post. I guess I'm just a little bugged by the fact that I'm getting older and have to be more responsible for my own work as I'm getting too old to rely on existing groups to carry me around.
The thing was that I've been part of a youth group within a theatre group and the theatre group itself and I kinda had the opportunity the collaborate on an online project of the group outside of the youth group for once and it felt like a cool opportunity to transition to the more mature projects of the group. Unfortunately, I was a bit late but they said that I could still create something, but they would post it on the social media channels of the youth group instead and that's what bugged me because it kinda felt like a "consolation prize" but also as if I'm stuck in this youth group that I can't grow any further in.
Don't get me wrong I'm very thankful for the opportunities that they gave me and still give to this point but I'm also getting at this stage that I'm just getting too old and feel surrounded by people nearly a decade younger than me, they're nice but it feels a little bit strange man.

Been watching videos off and on of criminals and people in prison. Morbid fascination borne of idleness and 'no way out' thanks to XH

Its funny how he shows his evilness most during Ramadan when the devils are supposed to be chained. I guess that shows there was no devil making him do stuff just his own self.

I know it's weird to be enjoying lockdown, but is it bad weird? Is it a sign I'm misanthropic? Esp since all I miss deep down are things. I can talk to my family whenever I want and that's the only people I want to talk to and really? Are hugs that great? I don't miss them. I miss warm fish and chips, amusements, going to the museum irl, buying books whenever I want (I don't have a debit card atm) etc.

Either way I feel 1 really glad I'm not bored 2 like it's not luck, I worked at it. I worked at having things to do and anyone could do that if they tried hard enough 3 like I need to keep this a secret... 4 annoyed with the moaners in my life who have nothing to moan about, neither poor health nor being at risk of job loss.

I cannot stand intellectual snobs.

I won't share my tarot readings on WP anymore because there's far too much toxic energy from cynical jerks here. As an empath I'm tired of sucking up all this bad energy from you people. If anybody still wants a reading PM me and ask politely and I might do you a tarot reading on a one-on-one basis.