What's on your mind right now?

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Omg I HATE five finger death punch (won't even capitalize their name) and all the groups that sound like them. There's just something that gets really under my skin in a bad way. (I knew there was a reason for our border-transcendent friendship )

I liked Slipknot in 9th grade... it was very popular back then here in the midwest USA but there's no way I'm listening to them as an adult with better taste.

I've always found it interesting how within heavy music there's a few blocs that are almost like mirror opposites. There's a sorta tough guy macho meathead bloc that's opposed by basically weirdos who almost seem there to subvert and disturb that bloc, while simultaneously making an even more atrocious racket - I've always been more 'in tune' with the latter.

As an adult I know more music than I did when I was like 14 (that's about when I discovered Napster), but like... I don't know if my tastes are better. I still love Atari Teenage Riot and Discharge, and they're the first two bands I downloaded from Napster. The only real change from then is that I listen to a lot more hip-hop now, and a lot more quiet, gloomy stuff like Clann Zu or Bauhaus. I'm sure if adult me met grade 9 me those boundaries would have been broken down earlier, cuz adult me would just seem like a former coworker I had who was late 20s when I was 15-16, one of the few adults who I related to more as a peer than as a 'grown-up'.

Music is always on my mind.

The way my dad pretends to be stupid and limited annoys me and I really don't care who subtweets me about it. He's an intelligent man, he can find a book to read or something to do if only he puts his mind to it. He's moaning all the time about boredom. It's not my job to sort out his boredom, it's his.

There are some really weird myths and misconceptions about having your period. One of them is that you can't go to the dentist to have a cavity filled during your period because the filling won't "set" right. Where do people come up with these things?

Not long ago I was worried if I took aspirin during my period it would make it insanely heavy because aspirin is supposed to thin your blood. But Tylenol doesn't seem to work at all on me.

My Boyfriend, too bad I cannot see him sadly. </3
I miss him D:

I have phone calls to make. I hate talking on the phone. I'd rather text because I can also to other things while I'm thinking what to say and how to say it and there is also the ability to edit before I send it-I even have a delay timer in case I mispelled or misspoke. lol Sometimes that's not an option like to schedule appts. I have to get revved up and in the right frame of mind to make calls. It really makes me anxious so I procrastinate. I have ADHD and also suspected Asperger's. I am also trying to get diagnosed and I've contacted so many places that I'm so tired of calling. No one wants to take me on, they just pass me to someone else, another recommendation, another therapist, another organization, etc., etc., etc.

I understand how you feel, I don’t like talking on the phone. Rather just text so I can have the time to respond and think what I will say and where the conversation is going.

Mum says the only way my family are coming out of this is if there's a vaccine which is scaring me cos I'm scared of needles. Surely if she gets a vaccine & stepdad gets a vaccine & granddad gets a vaccine it doesn't matter about the rest of us since we're not high risk?...

So, just a tangential question, but; if you were scheduled to be executed by lethal injection, would the needle be the bigger fear, or death?

Well, this one will only reduce your chance of dying, and as much as they're genuinely anxiety inducing, you won't care about it within 90 minutes, I guarantee. If you get COVID-19 you probably won't die, but you might spend 3 weeks in bed feeling like there's a car crash going on inside of your chest and wondering how did going to the bathroom become so exhausting when it isn't requiring any more exertion, or how the walk down the hall to get there left you feeling like you ran up a few flights of stairs. And I never got sick enough to require hospitalization, so the spectrum of how sick it can make you only gets worse from there.

I understand the anxiety, I sat through a little more than a third of an ingrown toenail surgery without the anaesthetic needle before I conceded the pain was finally definitely worse than the anxiety over the needle. Just make peace with it, that's probably the decision you will make after you do your own cost/benefit analysis.

I feel very autistic, or more acutely aware of my autism than normal. I'm used to living in my little bubble and not really seeing the inside lives of anyone except my immediate family and my WP family. I don't even watch news or movies. I've been living like this for so long, I kind of forgot what "the real world" is like socially. Tonight I made the grievous error of looking at many of my cousins' Facebook posts from around the world. I'm not even "friended" with most of them, and the others aren't in my newsfeed (in fact, no one is in my newsfeed, and I only have a handful of FB contacts, period). Let's just say, what I saw and read freaked me out. The level of social interaction they have with others even during lockdown, the photos and friends and parties and possessions and extroverted lifestyles ... I felt like an absolute freak compared to them. I was never so self-conscious about my life as I was in that moment.

No wonder my mother was always ashamed of me.

אין קץ לילדות.

אני מצטער.




אני מצטער....

the "diagnosed" elite, how is that a thing?
idk, lots of social workers i suppose,

reinforcing the rule or guideline of three posts a day might be brought to the attention again

blabla
the unwritten rules of YOUR correctness, only in some places you have to work the floor permanently
&
something else i forgot

I went to a doctor because I was in the midst of a breakdown that was directly responsible for me not being able to continue working and almost certain I was going to kill myself. It took several sessions and cost me the last $2k I had to my name to pay for the sessions in spite of having a referral as well as the other concerns mentioned. My parents only started to take my concerns on this matter seriously after I had a confirmation and I still haven't been eligible for any degree of support, even just with finding and maintaining employment or basic independence. I'm grateful that I have a decent relationship with my parents now because there's no way in hell I'd mange to figure out how to secure shelter and other basic survival needs.

Sid Vicious was a child. May we have the resilience of Iggy.

Mum's got an NHS letter saying stay at home at all times and she went for a walk today and I'm so scared that she's doing that and what if someone sneezes near her and has it? She stays she's staying away from people and needs to go out sometimes for her mental health but... And my granddad's encouraging her too.

All of that struck a chord with me, Isabella. One thing I used to notice, on the rare occasions I visited someone's home, was how often the phone seemed to ring. Mine would go for days or weeks without ringing. I don't even know what Facebook is, by the way....