What's on your mind right now?

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Mrs K says “sh** the bed!” as a general multipurpose expression.
She hates the rare occasion when I swear though.

My lawyer is so clear-headed and kind and has a nice voice and so respectful and nice my whole mindset is soothed aFter the call from her .. She is so nice and logical and being neutral for an even perspective doesn't mean you demean and abuse your client.

I can't believe I said bad things about lawyers just from 1 mean person who is a misogynist and reverse racist (ppl who are racist towards their own ethnicity to try n detach themselves frm their inner shame ).

She totally put all my worries to rest as I sometimes believe XH's words but she reassured me and was so nice and kind
She even ended the call so sweetly by telling me to enjoy the last few days of Ramadan.
I don't know how she can be so sweet and positive in attitude ...even her voice is so generous like she wants to pour so much kindness into the way she talks to give the other person peace of mind.

I dont know how she is like that when she is being exposed to horrible conflicts and the bad side of human nature regularly.

Omg I just realized... She is the real life version of Anne of Green Gables (when Anne is an adult especially in university).


That's exactly how Anne acts towards people and her voice is described (exactly as my lawyers way of talking) and how she puts logic to end conflicts but in a sweet laughing manner.

And similar way of putting things (practical things.. Anne spoke like that in a grounded but positive way and appreciative way when talking of non-poetic stuff).

Stormy season seems... Weeks early.
I've said this before but --

Hmm....

At least no more AC usage around this point.

And, the idea of paying over 3 months worth of bills.. It's the total sum numbers that would shock people, not really the duration or the breakdown of said bills.
Knowing the people here, I think the system would try to implement a form of installation fee.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I'm trying to outsmart a panic attack, but it's easier to just get it over with.

I really want to go swimming.

It's like an intense urge which isn't going to get satisfied cos we don't have a pool unless a paddling pool counts.

I think cos it's finally warm and stepdad's cutting grass and normally we'd be finding a pool. Which isn't as good as where I grew up or being on holiday cos here all the pools are indoor. But at least we'd find one.

OK so I had my scary medical appointment by Face Time. I had to undress for a clinician I've never met, to put on the electrode stickies for a heart monitor that I'm wearing for 14 days. I'm afraid of selfies / speaking / using phones / making eye contact / doing video calls / interacting with strangers ... and the idea of putting it all together while topless on camera was quite overwhelming.

It was a man. I have to admit I totally didn't expect that. I guess I was sexist to think only women would be involved, but that really threw me off at first. He was kind of cute lol, and I think it went OK. I didn't have to resort to "I'm autistic!" to explain or justify my weirdness.

I'm glad it's over with. Now I just have to get used to the electrodes for the next two weeks.

If everyone was aspie/introvert this would be really easy to solve.

Some people would be a problem cos their routines/interests were outdoor. But most would adapt to new hobbies/routines etc.

There'd be more people working in STEM discovering a cure.

There'd be less lying.

People wouldn't be as lonely so the whole 'loneliness kills' stuff wouldn't rise up as much. People would learn to be comfortable with their own person, their own space. And even if they weren't, at least they'd have the logic to accept it.

I guess they’re probably right, I’m so exceedingly abnormal in most ways that statistically, I truly don’t count (or shouldn’t count). I truly am only human physically, and am something else, whatever that may be, in every other way. I’m so very different from even other people on the autism spectrum... and I just started considering that maybe I’d like to try to separate myself from the idea of being female. I’m so unlike most women, even other autistic women, that I really don’t belong in that group (except, again, physically). But I don’t fit in as male, either. I think what I am is pretty much agender.

But even in that, I have to be a weirdo - I don’t want to be called “they/them.” I am not plural. I think I’d rather be called “it.” “But that seems so dehumanizing,” you say? Yes, that’s part of the point - I’m pretty much not human. The difference is, I don’t see that as a bad thing, or categorize every living thing that is not human as “lesser” in any way simply because they aren’t human, so to me it isn’t anything negative.

I wish I could just get my “womanly bits” removed so I could just completely forget that I technically am a woman, but odds are very much against me if I try to ask any appropriately-qualified doctor to do it for me, because most won’t do it for any less than truly life-threatening reasons if the person is of child-bearing age, no matter how much the person really doesn’t want kids, because “they might change their mind.”