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dragonsanddemons
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20 May 2020, 8:39 pm

I am not female. I am not male. I am not human. I am not animal. Maybe I have the soul of a dragon, I don’t even know about that anymore. I am not “normal” in any sense of the term. I am not loving. I am not cruel. I am not smart. I am not stupid. I am not brave. I am not cowardly. I am not healthy. I am not sickly. I am not strong. I am not weak. So many things I am not. So what exactly am I? Just an absence of things? A void? Not sure what I feel about that. I suppose, aptly, nothing.

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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"

blooiejagwa
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20 May 2020, 10:05 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:

At least you harbour no illusions. Most ppl don't come to that realization except briefly at certain moments like seeing the night sky in a forest location or smthing.

You already achieved what NTs need Zen and lots of meditation attempts n reading to attain.

The perfect spot frm which to learn. Cannot learn anything effectively, if bloated with sense of self and unable to detach.

My elder is like that too. That's what I mean when I tell his dad that he shows everyone how to live (mindset part).

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funeralxempire
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20 May 2020, 10:10 pm

AriaEclipse wrote:

Gosh, I feel so guilty for being out of work now with every thing I do because of COVID-19 and my dad makes me feel guilty for buying a $10 lunch at Wendy's. It hurt for him to criticize like that but I am awful at finding jobs and of course not a lot of paces are hiring.

Was it your $10 that you earned? He can bite his tongue until it bleeds over how you choose to spend money you've earned through your labour.

(if it was his money he might have a point...) :oops:

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I was ashamed of myself when I realised life was a costume party and I attended with my real face
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell

funeralxempire
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20 May 2020, 10:12 pm

KT67 wrote:

Dad needs to stop worrying me, it's selfish.

He said he was on the beach w his friend and someone walked through the 2 metre gap they left.

Just remind yourself that on a long enough time line the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

AriaEclipse
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21 May 2020, 10:37 am

funeralxempire wrote:

AriaEclipse wrote:

Was it your $10 that you earned? He can bite his tongue until it bleeds over how you choose to spend money you've earned through your labour.

(if it was his money he might have a point...) :oops:

Yeah, it was mine. I used my debit card to pay for it because I don't typically carry much cash on me. I also (and it was my fault) didn't think about how much the meal I picked would cost but I have a lot of food sensitivities and it was one of the only fast-food things I could find that I can eat.

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dragonsanddemons
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21 May 2020, 3:28 pm

My sensory issues have been so bad recently, I’d gladly trade everything about me (autism-related or not, and also even if I still had all the other negatives my autism comes with), plus twenty years of my life (assuming I have that to give), just to be rid of them.

dragonsanddemons
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21 May 2020, 4:59 pm

I don’t understand why some people act and talk like they think all the quarantine stuff will last literally forever. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

AnonymousAnonymous
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21 May 2020, 6:23 pm

Making sure the family dog does not get onto the couch because if the dog does, my mom will accuse me of not paying close attention to the dog.

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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!

Edna3362
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21 May 2020, 7:02 pm

It's official. The day's today.

And what do I feel about it? I don't know. I'm not happy, I'm not sad -- it's just...
Nothing. It's a type of noisy or background noise-nothing, not empty or hollow-nothing.

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blooiejagwa
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21 May 2020, 7:17 pm

Elder is literally the best person I ever met. My sister called him an artist's muse.
His 2nd physiotherapist said he was impressed with his willpower as without it he would not be able to walk and it's only through sustained concentration that he can.
His current therapist (ABA one) said she wouldn't cancel him even when she had an emergency from being scammed by a company who took her car, and cancelled all her other clients because
'You (elder son) remind me that God's angels are around me.'

My brother called him a gentleman.
His teacher calls him a joker.
His dad used to call him 'a poet'
Random people on the street would praise his sweetness.
I think he shows incredible compassion and understanding.

All this without being able to talk and being severely autistic in every way.

Just proving that if experts think 'he is the most autistic presentation of autism possible' there is plenty to admire in autism.

What a wonderful perfect angel. Forever a blessing.

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Kiprobalhato
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22 May 2020, 1:27 am

funeralxempire wrote:

KT67 wrote:

Dad needs to stop worrying me, it's selfish.

He said he was on the beach w his friend and someone walked through the 2 metre gap they left.

Just remind yourself that on a long enough time line the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

every single person who drinks water will die.

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הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.

funeralxempire
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22 May 2020, 1:42 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:

funeralxempire wrote:

KT67 wrote:

Dad needs to stop worrying me, it's selfish.

He said he was on the beach w his friend and someone walked through the 2 metre gap they left.

Just remind yourself that on a long enough time line the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

every single person who drinks water will die.

We're doomed because they're still dying even when we withhold water.

funeralxempire
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22 May 2020, 2:00 am

cough syrup

traven
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22 May 2020, 2:33 am

the australian uncle wouldn't like that,
fun times, they talked oldfashioned dutch, not unlike we do now :mrgreen:

buying wallpaper for australia// these big wallpaper sample books
in the early seventies **ab fab***

+ screaming pattern? :jester: again