What's on your mind right now?

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I'm fed up of having to talk to certain people my age like they're children intellectually.

I'm not going to hold his hand anymore. He can grow up and learn by himself.

Or not.

That's up to him.

Bored.
Lethargic.
Heavy.
A bit off.

Now what?!

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Hmmm...

There's this feeling.
It's like... Slowly climbing up the rollercoaster hilltop, and the huge fast dip will come sooner and sooner.
And there will be a wild ride to come.

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Hmm...

Every 7-8 years, there's always a change in me like some sort of a milestone.
Ages... 7-8, 14-16, 21-24, 28-32, 35-40, 42-48, 49-56, 56-64, 63-72, 70-80...

I'd take a guess that my 56th year would be interesting.

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Really worried about a friend of mine

Ableism against NTs for being NT doesn't exist in a society run by NTs.

However I do worry about things like if I call them stupid for not reading aspies properly, am I catching people with learning difficulties or dyslexic people up in the crosshairs?

That would be ableist.

Seriously though, NTs need to start paying attention to the words they read and the words they use.

Who would've thought that my pursuit of thoughts things fits in, if not outright accommodate through this culture's core values?

It could be just unique, vague and confusing.
Or it could've been just timeless, ancient and outright wordless.
The searches passed me several times, but never considered much until now.


Perhaps... That's the nonlinearity I've been trying to describe.
Being both material and immaterial -- I can feel the contrast so hard, it hurts sometimes.

This might also be the intangible yet tangled strings of connections that I happened to be born into.
It seems there are already people who had enough words to describe a glimpse of it -- and it's collectively unconscious.

Whatever this is, it bypasses certain aspects of social gestalt models.
Making the 'individual' and 'collective' an even bigger blur than ever.


Maybe... Just maybe...
Perhaps it's this uncanny feeling this whole time, describing it as "being too human".

More human than I should've deserved, and more human than I would've liked.

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Have to take an online evaluation/test this morning to be considered for a state job (fingers crossed!) - am recovering from a migraine but have tried to batten down the hatches with vitamins and medication this morning (and coffee) so here's hoping

Why does it feel like...

That as I watch the rollercoaster train climbs up the hill, and seeing all those wild runs as I lean on the side -- I also see a block big enough to crash the train.

Why anticipate a train wreck for?


Hold on tight..?

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Someone came back into my life unexpectedly and I don't know what to think about it. I know *how* I feel about it, but what do I do with it.

Time for another whine from me

I have taken ibuprofen, but still my neck hurts (literally a pain in the neck ) from my biopsy yesterday, and my hand hurts where they stuck the IV, and my chest is a bit achy (but not scarily painful or anything), and my head feels very much a sensation I can only describe as “ugh.”

Hey, I should be glad I don’t have cancer, right? Oh, wait...

(In case the smilie didn’t give it away, I was just joking and only because my case is highly unlikely to be serious - I figure hey, I poke fun at the rest of me, why not this as well? )

After the stories I've been reading, I'll focus on more hands on things.

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I have a tendency to forget just how serious this pandemic is and how many things it changes, or completely eliminates. Yes, I do things like wear a mask every time I go out, avoid unnecessarily touching things when I’m out, wash my hands, don’t bring my service dog with me unless I really need him, and stuff like that, but I’m in and out running from one doctor appointment to another so much that I forget how closed-off so many things are, like you don’t just make a quick run to the grocery store whenever you want to satisfy a craving or it would be nice to have a few things now, you go when you have to and everything gets bundled into one big trip rather than several small trips throughout the week. Most travel is banned and there are people who haven’t seen their close relatives and good friends even at all this year because they couldn’t travel when they ordinarily would have visited (and yes, you can use technology like video chat, but to some people, especially extroverts and people who like to touch other people in some way, it isn’t quite the same as seeing them in person, and I understand that). I’m by no means saying any of this shouldn’t be done, I want the pandemic to be over just as much as anyone else, and I see the logic behind all the precautions, it just still feels... surreal, I guess, to me.