Edna3362 wrote:
KT67 wrote:
I know so many people my age who live with parents. Most of them are non-disabled NTs.
And I know my great cousin who lives with his mother. He's in his 50s, NT, never left home.
I think as long as the parents are tolerant of the fact the kids are grown ups, the 'kids' pay rent and do chores and everyone takes care of everyone else when they're sick/elderly/in need of help, it's a good system.
My cousin is NT and she lives with my auntie, my uncle and her boyfriend. And she's an adult with a professional job. It's nice. They don't want to move out cos they love the parents. They'll only move out when they need the space (eg want kids) or want to live in a new town.
And quite a few of my mum's friends also live in new extended families ie they moved out then they moved their parents in when they got old. Again, to take care of the elderly in their family. Good system.
From where I live, this is...
Normal.
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Yes, it seems to be something that is only a 'problem' online.
I think it's based on the assumption that if you live at home, you don't cook and clean for yourself or pay rent. Now that would be a problem cos the person wouldn't learn the skils required for when their parents die. But
that's not the norm.
Only other thing wrong with it would be if someone wanted to travel. My cousin spent her gap year abroad then came back home again, most people I know did that. Personally, I would've moved here regardless but mum fancied moving here too, esp the more I went on about the advantages of it, so we moved together.
I wasn't paying my parents rent when I wasn't working because over half my SSI check went towards my private health insurance & medical bills. I had Medicaid but the docs & psychs in my area would not accept it because it did not pay them enough. Which meant I had to have private health insurance with copays & deductables & it would not cover mental so I had to pay the full cost of seeing my psychiatrist. My mom often gripped about how a parent's job should be done 1ce the kid is an adult & no longer in school. When I was woking the only jobs I was very lucky to get were federal minimum wage type stuff & my SSI was reduced based on my pay so there was NO WAY I could afford my own place without some other kind of benefits. I also cant drive cuz my vision is too bad & there wasn't really a public transportation system around where my parents lived. I was very dependent in lots of ways but I was kinda stuck in a catch 22 situation. It wasn't like I was just lazy & wanting to mooch off my parents till I'd die like mom made it sound. I was working extra when I was employed & allowed to. Whenever I was allowed overtime at my 2nd job, I was working five 9 & a half hour days even when I was part time & scheduled for four 8 hour days. & when we were really shorthanded I would work a 6th hour day & sometimes work some 10 or 11 hour days. There's a lot more to me being dependent than me simply being extremely lazy.
That was a major barrier with me getting a girlfriend which I was desperately wanting. It would of been a lot easier for me to get a girlfriend if I would of had my own place &,or a much higher income where I could of afforded my own place. I knew a couple women online who would of been ineterested in living with me if I woulda had my own place. Suciety judges guys like me as being losers, especially in hardcore conservative places like the deep south where I lived.