What's on your mind right now?

Post Reply New Topic

I wonder what kind of 'autism parent' my mom is?...
Because I explicitly excluded her in anything directly autistic related affairs as much as possible.


She only knows me as I'm.
My diagnosis is but a reference that I'm not an NT and she shouldn't assume otherwise.

She does not know me well as an autistic.
And I prefer it this way.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

My mum is kind of obsessed with autistic people tbh. In a good way.

She's NT but I love her mind. She's very individualistic, very moral, very quirky, loves people who are themselves instead of trying to fit in with society.

She's got the NT strengths, too, like having a lot of friends & knowing when it's inappropriate to say something.

Both the men she's loved in her life (romantically) have had personalities she thought of as autistic & honestly, my stepdad is very HFA seeming, he's just old enough that it wasn't diagnosed.

My dad is schizophrenic though. I don't think he was a good choice of father/husband, he was always trying to pick a fight etc.

I know not all NTs are like the ones who I can't 'gel' with. But I hate it when people hate my intellectualism, my observation of detail and my strong morals/logic. I hate it when they try to force me 'out of my shell' and say things like 'yes but what do you read for fun?' as if there is no fun to be had in postmodern novels.

The NTs I went to uni with aren't like that, just the ones I ended up volunteering with and the bullies in my teenage years.

I also hate it when people are in tribes, bullying each other etc.

My mum kept that I was autistic from me most of my childhood and just focused on the fact I was a 'smart kid' and 'imaginative' etc.

https://www.thrillist.com/health/nation ... o-be-alone

This is what I mean.

NTs might fall into the category too but it's suggestive that introversion and intelligence are linked.

Makes sense since traditionally if someone's an introvert, they go to less parties and read more books.

In regards to introverts being more intelligent. I don't know if they are or not, but could it be because even if they don't read books, they may be seen as more intelligent as they spend more time in their thoughts, and they will normally have projects on the go and hobbies etc.
Extroverts tend to work hard, and then play hard as the expression goes. We need them and we need introverts too. We need both types in our society as if we only had introverts we would all be in isolation and get nothing done, and if we only had extroverts, life would be one big party and othing would be done either! Haha. We need both.
But as intelligence goes, I am not sure. Hard to tell. I expect those with higher intelligence will naturally develop to be more introverted in character as they use their intelligence with various projects thwy enjoy working on? I do not know. I am guessing!

My stepdad is rude.

He thinks it's up to him to say if something's all right or not.

So for eg, I show him a picture. "What was the prompt" tell him. "That's acceptable"

Or I tell him I'm watching a show and he says "that's all right". Not "are you enjoying it" or "what's it about"

The funniest thing was that... My mom's the complete opposite.

She'd be one of the most incompatible NT that any introverted aspie would socially encounter.
Her strengths as an NT are phenomenal, it was a great privilege for me to observe her up close.

She accepts me and she cares...

But we can almost never resonate, she likely never ever gets it.
Our respective minds and intelligence are not very compatible.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Maybe it's another of these cultural differences?

There's a group of parents of autistic children on twitter and mumsnet (which is a cesspool for other reasons) who call themselves 'autism parents' and all they want to do is have 'normal' children. They'd even rather be without their children than have autistic children. They talk about how autism has made life hard for them, and for their 'normal children'. How their autistic children are a 'burden'.

I'm not sure what psychologically causes that. Of course, they don't listen to us autistic adults.

And a similar kind of person is passing about the 'vaccines cause autism' myth. I find that deeply painful - someone would rather their kid die of measles or covid etc than their kid ends up like me

My mum would never call herself an 'autism mum'. She would never talk about how me being autistic was a 'burden' on her.

I think as long as a parent is able to accept their child as different, they're nice open minded people who are showing a degree of empathy and caring. Regardless of how extroverted they are themselves. That is a form of extroversion which hasn't got in the way of introspection or empathy or normalised bullying.

Every article I can find online about why people enjoy horror seems to either be about movies or about true life or things which could really happen.

I wish I knew the psychological reason why I'm drawn to stories about witches, the devil, ghosts etc when I don't believe in any of that.

Cultural differences, definitely.


The parents here, while they all can rant about the stress and hardships of having autistic child, their worries of future and living, or their fate...

But they don't wish them away or wish them dead.
They tend not to rant that they'd rather have an 'easier' child. They'd rather wish a child they can safely left behind without or with less worry when they die -- it's an open-ended goal.

They can dream otherwise, but they knew better that cussing about having an autistic child and about autism won't serve them.



Further cultural differences and reasons why goes deeper and more intricate than this.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I'm actually so done in general with 'cringe culture'.

Jedward are known to be 'peak cringe'. If you like them, it's considered embarrassing.

I'm not their fan but they've tweeted some good tweets lately. Seem like good guys.

They don't deserve all this cringe nonsense.

Nobody decent does.

People who are genuinely bad can be criticised for more than whether they're 'cringy' or not.

From where I live...


... Apparently, there's no such thing as historical grudges.

And no, it's not because they're ignorant of history.
And no, it's not the christian values for forgiveness. The main source for forgiveness predates the religion and goes deeper than that.

But sure, because it's meaningless to. Because grudge doesn't feed them nor it is relevant now.
And it's literally because the elders who had actually been there. Not only pass the stories and told the horrors of that time, but also pass the forgiveness.

Well, at the same time grudge doesn't drive them to improve and have a collective voice like others do.



It's a double edged sword. It just happens that I like both edges more than not.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Cancer.

Going out.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I have decided to stop self-IDing as autistic. Yes, I have a diagnosis but it was for Asperger's.

People on this site really hate their brains for being autistic. I really love my brain for being aspie.

What I really love about my brain is itself. Being myself. Even the label 'Asperger's is unnecessary.

I love my personality.

So I will just describe myself using non-diagnostic words then if I'm in a situation where I need to describe for eg my eyes being sensitive, I will say I have Asperger's. Most people know what that means.

Trying to transcend, eh?

The issue with both parties of autism is... Trying to define Autism.


I mean, from all I've read it's like this:

Gifted? Autism. Mentally disabled? Autism.
Clumsy? Autism. Super visio-spatial manual skills? Autism.
Cooperative? Autism. Defiant? Autism.
Healthy and body able? Autism. Crippled and sick? Autism.
Verbal? Autism. Nonverbal? Autism.
Forgettable? Autism. Perfect memory? Autism.
Awkward? Autism. Had it easier? Autism. Had it harder? Autism. In control? Autism.
Disabled? Autism. NOT disabled? Autism.
Honor student? Autism. Left behind with several learning disabilities? Autism.
Sensitive? Autism. Insensitive? Autism.
Ego-less and selfless? Autism. Egocentric and selfish? Autism.

Or hell;
Deaf? Autism. Autoimmune issues? Autism. Cancer? Autism.
Happy and loving family? Autism. Broken and abusive family? Autism.
Rich and famous? Autism. Poor and marginalized? Autism.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.