What did you achieve today?

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found my late sister's widow's bereavement group's webmaster and told her what happened.

how did they respond?

it caught her by surprise. she thanked me for tracking her down, she was wondering what happened to my sister who had not showed up for a few weeks at the meetings and wondered if she could have done more to help.

I bet there are many people wondering if there was something they could have done.

i know i prolly failed her, i just couldn't persuade her that life was still worth living after her hubby died. she felt cheated, i feel. profound sadness tinged with the unfairness of it. my aspie clumsiness meant that i was lousy at consoling her no matter how i tried.

i always feel if someone is suffering and not that far off from dying anyway, maybe it is better to matriculate to the afterlife now.

she was healthy as an ox, she had good enough genes to have another good 20 years or so. inadequately treated depression sucks.

I have won in five of them as of today

took the garbage out despite sore hip.

Now - already in SIX

set up 401k

it took only a couple minutes, it wasn't that hard, online, not social,

but delayed it for a long time

cooked and ate chicken. not burnt or raw. it's like the second time i successfully did that

i am so f*****g dysfunctional

zero life skills

i am too fat, old, broke, hateful, repressed, suppressed

I finished shopping for Christmas presents!

...Well, almost, but the only thing missing is a box of chocolate for my half sister's partner and that's something I can get from the grocery store next time I go, so it doesn't really count.

got injection of avastin in right eye. tolerated it and the less than 100% comfy after-hours of that.

I finally succeeded in getting Medicaid to change the dental HMOs for two clients. I’ve only be working on this for a month, with phone calls and faxes and emails and a lot of frustration.

I don’t know how anyone does it without an advocate.

I had a job interview this morning over Zoom. I think it went fairly well. Even if I don't get the job it went better than last time. I successfully babysat for four hours in the afternoon. I reconfigured the Tuya routine to make the air conditioner work better.

i now have a basically optimized [NOT perfected by any means] benny goodman allstars 1938 carnegie hall jazz concert recording ready to let people hear if they wish.