What's on your mind right now?

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Tomorrow looks like it would be a good day to pack my decorations properly. I'll do that in the morning.

The dreaded "email from ex" thing.

Argggh.

I'll see if I can start a third day with tea, tomorrow.

Aspergers explains why I am socially inept.
I keep making the same mistakes over and over.
Its Aspergers, nothing can be done.
Grrrr, Aspergers!

Having Aspergers makes almost everything in life more difficult.
I do not see any positives to having Aspergers.
Aspergers is my excuse why I fail to achieve things in life.
Grrrr, Aspergers!

My... Ahh.. "Homework" probably going to either piss my boss off or make her cry.

Given with my handwritings... Quite likely.

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I'm listening to The Who and I might make a cup of coffee.

Realizing that living in my own apartment is definitely not the solution to all my problems, it doesn’t look so appealing anymore.

I do not want to give in to food cravings that I am experiencing now.

Happy places.

It's not like I don't have one.
It's just... I don't know! I can't visualize it. At least not the way I'd usually go with it.

It might not even be a place! I can only feel I've been there...
But what is even there? Does it even exists? What do I do?
Maybe it's not a place.

When I try to visualize, it's mostly lights at best.
For the longest time it's been like this -- darkness like but that's not really the dark. There were so many reflecting lights without any source of light kind of thing.

There's no ground. Only orbs of lights.
Big and closed up lights I can go through and as far as i can see.
I may not even had a body to go with it and floating. And my 'sight'... Isn't how human eyes work.

So why is this? How could I imagine something like this? I can recall that I do as a child, but where does it came from?

It's definitely not a place.
Yet it makes me very happy. And I really missed it.

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Life is supposed to be looking at least a little promising for me right now. So why do I still feel depressed? Why do I want to make myself bleed? Why don’t I care if I even bleed out?

I won’t, though, because there are other people around. Last thing I want is to go back to the hospital, it’s pointless, been there, done that, lost track of how many times.

I had popcorn and sausages for dinner tonight.

I suspect that all the friendships I had have done their fizzle thing again. ‘S okay, that means I can’t hurt anyone anymore. I never intend to, but I’m just plain not good for anyone, including myself. I’m inherently “toxic” and a parasite.



Very true of me, except in my case, I am sober, the problem’s just me.

Approach at your own risk. Don’t say I didn’t warn anybody.

We need to call out ableism. Ableism is discrimination against people with disability. Ableist ignore our disability and try to focus on our ability not our disability. That is just wrong and ignorant. As disabled people we need support and we do not want to be forced into doing things we do not want to do. Imagine getting cut off welfare and forced to accept any job because the government says so. It is wrong and an injustice. Disabled people need support and not the ignorance of ableism.

I've always wondered why NTs, when they speak, sound like they all take their lines from the latest corny Hollywood blockbuster. Especially online, where they have time to think through their coolness. Is it all some kind of power struggle where they feel like they have to go one-up on each other to gain karma?

To me it just comes off as perfect inability to produce any original thought.

I hope I sleep properly tonight. I haven't slept well since I moved again.