What's on your mind right now?

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What's the word for being on the fence between snob & fiend?

Connoisseur?

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

My mom has been having me wear her Fitbit for a couple days and my heart rate (while not doing anything) hits 120 a lot, probably from anxiety. I have manually checked my heart rate a few times and the reading seems accurate. The other day it was 110-120 the entire time.

I wish I had a fidbit.
Just so I'd know the heck is happening to me and know where all my fluctuations may come from.

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I've decided to only get involved in arguments if I can personally benefit from it.

Let's see how long that lasts

Worn ear plugs on my way to work.

It eases my head a bit.
But I cannot simply wear it too often. My ears kinda hurt putting it on.
Someday I'll buy a different type and try it.
And I cannot simply rely on it every time I go out.

But this also replaced my issue with walking out; not my senses, but my rather increasingly sore legs.

No surprises if the issue was about the footwear and uneven steps.
It's usually either too tight and heavy or I had to accommodate semi consciously to keep it to place.

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I miss my mum. I've phoned her this morning but it's not the same as going over to visit my parents on a Saturday and spending the night.

My heart rate is 79 and I am oddly content right now. I wonder what's going to go wrong now. lol

I also found out I can watch my heart rate lower using the Fitbit if I do deep breathing, and now it's kind of a game to see how low I can get my heart rate. So far 72 is my record...

... And I wish I could just tell the sunbird to "please stop hitting yourself on the window".

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burning out

I do like trains.

I think I’m going to try eating foods with a low glycemic index as a start, for something specific to do since my attempts to just eat “more healthy/less unhealthy” and exercise more have left me still gaining a little weight when what I need to do is lose weight (I went from underweight to nearly overweight due to chemotherapy, I have always been skinny no matter what I eat or how little I exercise so I really haven’t had to deal with this before). My mom suggested that, she remembered it from when my dad saw a dietician a while ago. Then if I’m still not seeing results, I’ll switch to low-carb.

Before members of my clubhouse and a staff worker started playing a game on Zoom this afternoon, the new clubhouse member asked me how I was doing. I told her that I was surviving and I miss my mum. I told her that she doesn't want me or my sister over at her place to visit. She told me that it was just one of those things. That I will have to tough it out until the Covid pandemic is over. The staff worker who was running the Zoom session also had the callousness to repeat to me that it's just one of those things. My response was the usual Fracking Scheisse. It wasn't something I wanted to hear.

I refuse to pay money to specialists to come to an obvious conclusion that I have Aspergers.
Aspergers explains everything in my life and why I have social/communication issues.
I am self diagnosed Aspergers!
The treatments of Aspergers do not change the fact a person has social/communication skill problems.
Only a cure for Aspergers will fix the social/communication skills issues.