Why do people have a problem with lurkers?

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roadracer
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11 Mar 2010, 2:40 am

League_Girl wrote:
I said I wasn't going to argue.


sorry, I was writing my e-mail while you posted that (your post before my last), so I hadnt read it yet :oops:

Quote:
I know he wasn't intentionally trying to get me started but I don't care what people think of me. All I care about is seeking the truth and once I know, I move on, even if that person still thinks the same of me after I have corrected that person. I have said my share and I don't want to waste my time trying to get someone to have the correct thinking about me. I have been there before and I decided to not care anymore because I don't want to fight it and trying to get the person to change their mind. Even if I can't seek the truth, I still try and move on and not worry about it because not everyone answers me but M did.


fair enough



makuranososhi
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11 Mar 2010, 3:17 am

Thanks, LG. It is possible that the same instance was meant one way and interpreted another. It isn't my intention to be difficult, but with your previous accounts' posts missing, it would be the chance that it would be current enough to be as LG, or it would have to be referenced from elsewhere, which really isn't my sort of thing - if it isn't readily available for me to reference, I'm not going to 'tease' that I might be able to supply you with a citation or quote readily. I am still curious about your differentiation between a lurker and a stalker... for example, while I am a member on asdgestalt.com, my activity level there is that of a lurker at best. What would define me between those three categories - member, lurker, stalker?

RR, I do find the reactions curious... it seems to be more in response to an interpretation or assumption of something being behind my words, versus their literal meanings. This is something I encounter in real life; I don't know that I have any great answers for the problem, or how to solve it. In my discussion regarding pedestrians vs. drivers, I will thoroughly challenge you to find any instance where I attacked or insulted the other individual involved. I vehemently disagree with him, but argued using studies and figures while inviting him to do the same. If by refusing to indulge in an argument where study is refuted by "well I believe" is an insult, then perhaps one might find me guilty. But the intent was not and is not to bait, but to argue. Perhaps it is telling that I find that in most things - people, puzzles, games - that it is the actions and words of others that are the most telling as well as the most effective weapons. It may be that such a philosophy is translating to providing those opening for others to be themselves in manner that could be seen as baiting. It's something I will consider, though I don't see it to the degree you seem to.

In the discussion on the adverts, we have radically different opinions (similar to the pedestrian discussion) that are formed from very different backgrounds. When I was in high school, I worked part-time in insurance offices so my familiarity with liability and responsibility is quite different than many other peoples, just as my computer experience apparently is vastly different than many others. That we disagree isn't an issue, but when one party has to assert that their view is the only correct one... well, there are graveyards littering the earth with the evidence of what happens in those situations.

While LG and I disagree a fair amount, we also have seemed to be able to resolve our discussions pretty readily thus far. Sometimes, we're just going to disagree. Having differences of opinion is a good thing; it's how that is handled between people that is most often the issue. Not trying to flog a dead horse or carry on this part of the conversation indefinitely... just wanted to respond to you both.


M.


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blue_bean
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11 Mar 2010, 5:36 am

It could also be voyeurism depending on circumstances. I'm a member at another forum and I've noticed that the guest users online count increases x 10 whenever there is a huge drama going on. Some people are just looking for laughs and entertainment, drama on the internet gets them excited.



League_Girl
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11 Mar 2010, 6:41 am

blue_bean wrote:
It could also be voyeurism depending on circumstances. I'm a member at another forum and I've noticed that the guest users online count increases x 10 whenever there is a huge drama going on. Some people are just looking for laughs and entertainment, drama on the internet gets them excited.



Ah yes, I like drama but I don't like being in it. Sometimes I enjoy it. But I stay out of the religion and politics board because I find those topics boring.



PLA
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11 Mar 2010, 8:07 am

League_Girl wrote:
blue_bean wrote:
It could also be voyeurism depending on circumstances. I'm a member at another forum and I've noticed that the guest users online count increases x 10 whenever there is a huge drama going on. Some people are just looking for laughs and entertainment, drama on the internet gets them excited.



Ah yes, I like drama but I don't like being in it. Sometimes I enjoy it. But I stay out of the religion and politics board because I find those topics boring.

Yeah, there's not much excitement to get from something boring. :)


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CockneyRebel
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11 Mar 2010, 8:16 am

There have been lurkers who have said bad things about us, on their site, but they're far and few between.


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Zeller
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12 Mar 2010, 12:57 pm

I may be a member but I rarely have anything to say. As you can see by my join date to # of posts and the fact that I'm here at least a few times a week I lurk regularly. Just enjoy seeing other peoples perspectives on life I guess.



matt
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12 Mar 2010, 11:48 pm

I click the reply button and start typing many responses, but it's often difficult to find the correct words to convey my thoughts.

I spend a long time, sometimes hours, editing a post and trying to make it say exactly what I want to say, and then when I am done I read the post again to check it and I often decide not to post it and so I don't click submit.



pumibel
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12 Mar 2010, 11:52 pm

FredOak3 wrote:
Well think of who is typically coming to this site...I would think most would start as lurkers just out of our normal reluctance at social interaction.

Just because it's virtual doesn't make it any less daunting of an undertaking to jump into a social setting.


I agree with Fred