Everybody's Worst Jokes?

Page 3 of 4 [ 52 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Joined: 17 May 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,531
Location: Poland

12 Nov 2009, 8:44 am

The one with a door was used by Stephen King in the "riddle duel" between Blaine Mono and Roland and his ka-tet. In our country it was translated in a stupid way: When is a door not a door? When the lock has fallen into pieces which obviously has no sense at all.

_________________
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2119876/Midwich-Cuckoo

Erminea
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Jul 2008
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,083
Location: Holland

12 Nov 2009, 8:57 am

Two hamburgers freshly put on a barbecue.

One; 'jeez, it's hot here'.

The other; 'jeez.... a talking hamburger'.

Ahaseurus2000
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,546
Location: auckland

12 Nov 2009, 8:29 pm

two fish in a tank.

one says "how do you drive this thing?"

showman616
Snowy Owl

Joined: 8 Feb 2009
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 170
Location: Washington DC, USA

19 Nov 2009, 6:40 pm

A giant mushroom walks into a bar.

The bartender tells him "we dont allow your kind in here!"

The mushroom replies "why not! I'm a fungi!"

Rose_in_Winter
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Sep 2009
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 741
Location: Kansas City, MO

19 Nov 2009, 7:26 pm

One of my former babysitting charges told me this one; she was in second grade.

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red, and yellow, and orange, and purple, and green, and white, and black?

Why?

So he could hide in the jellybean jar! Have you ever seen an elephant in a jellybean jar?

No...

Worked, didn't it?

Ahaseurus2000
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,546
Location: auckland

21 Nov 2009, 12:12 am

Some of the worst jokes are in News Headlines:

"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"

"Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Reveals"

jc6chan
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Oct 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,257
Location: Waterloo, ON, Canada

22 Nov 2009, 3:55 pm

You know what sucks?

A vacuum

RockDrummer616
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Dec 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 910
Location: Steel City (Golden State no more)

22 Nov 2009, 4:03 pm

The cross country captain at my old school used to tell jokes like:

What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick!

What did the Mexican fireman name his sons?
Jose and Hose B!

liloleme
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jun 2008
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,762
Location: France

22 Nov 2009, 5:02 pm

A new preacher comes into town to buy a horse.
The horse trader tells him that he can sell him the horse from the former preacher.
The new preacher is happy.
The horse trader tells the new preacher that this horse is special to make it go you say "Praise the Lord" and to make it stop you say "amen"
So the new preacher buys the horse and hes yelling "Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord" and the horse is galloping like crazy. Up in the distance he sees a cliff. He yells to the horse "whoa....whoa....oh I mean Amen"....the horse stops just at the edge of the cliff, the preacher takes off his hat, wipes his brow and says "Praise the Lord."

jc6chan
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Oct 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,257
Location: Waterloo, ON, Canada

22 Nov 2009, 5:26 pm

RockDrummer616 wrote:

What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick!

Whats brown and sticky?

Chocolate

syzygyish
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Feb 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,086
Location: swimming in the air

23 Nov 2009, 11:02 pm

Them : "How are you today?"
Me : "Fantastic!"
Them : "Oh, really?"
Me : "Well, that's what all the girls say!"

:lol:

_________________
Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle
-Jaleb

normally_impaired
Deinonychus

Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 363

23 Nov 2009, 11:09 pm

This thread looks like it should be reposted on AFF as the "funniest jokes of all time" thread, it's the kind of crappy lame humor that those crappy lame people seem to find hillarious. They would tell jokes like this in the chat rooms to no end, until of course I posted one of my jokes which would seem to anger and annoy all of them. Nobody likes racism anymore even when it's applied to a well thought out joke.

Celtic_Frost
Deinonychus

Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 396
Location: Jackson, TN

24 Nov 2009, 7:49 am

I don't think this is a very family-friendly "bad" joke, but I'll say one. My friend told me this one...

Q: How do you put a gay person in suspense?
A: ...
Q: I'll tell you later!

Worst joke ever!