How many people feel having children is not worth it?

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The problem is this: many people feel it's aggravating to have kids AFTER they have them - that's NOT fair to the kids!! ! My own father once said to my siblings and I, "I don't know why I ever had you kids." Now, that's a nice shot in the arm isn't it? Here another one of his pearls: "I should've killed you a long time ago." Yet, he didn't lift a finger for any of us for as long as I could remember. His only concern was for his mistresses and keeping that truth from my mother. His own mother was a real, cold b***h.

I wish I had kids and raise a happy family, but it depends if my future wife is ready for and I myself are ready.
It would be rather pointless if neither of us would want a child and if we know nothing about it.

I want to join the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement.

Adoption isn't easy and it is expensive and there is no insurance to cover it or any other assistance. You have to pay out of your own pocket.

Pregnancy isn't easy either because people who do want kids usually struggle to get pregnant. But when you are pregnant, you can easily get on medicaid when you have no health insurance and you don't really have to pay for the appointments and the ultrasound, and the delivery. But with pregnancy at least you can get assistance. Adoption, no way.





At least you don't have to wait ten years or five years or years to have a kid when you are pregnant but it can take someone that long to get pregnant. The more fertile you and the person is, the easier it is to get pregnant. I got pregnant after two normal menstrual cycles. But before I never got pregnant for the first two months of trying because my periods were irregular. Last time I got pregnant after having sex four times and it was two weeks of trying. This time it was longer.

But like I say when a woman gets pregnant, she can easily get on health care if she has no health insurance and bam they cover all her expenses. I had to pay some money before it kicked in for two visits and I had a discount due to our income so it wasn't much.

And you would want a baby trust me or maybe not. When you adopt an older kid, it's harder because they are usually screwed up and it's harder to teach them because of bad habits they have developed and gotten away with for years. But when you have a baby, they are still developing and you can teach them things before it becomes a habit for them. Most older kids in foster car or orphanages have problems, RAD for one and other issues because of trauma or because they have been from one home to another so they don't see the point in behaving and being good since they are going to be gotten rid of again. All it will do is take patience by hanging onto them and not getting rid of them just because they are too disobedient, too defiant, have too many behavior issues.

Adopting an older child is not the same as you see in movies. I am sure we have all seen in cartoons and movies that when a child gets adopted, they are happy and it's happily ever after but it doesn't work that way in the real world. They usually need counseling and they have issues and they don't just get over it when they are finally adopted.

That's why most people want a baby and adoption is hard because everyone wants one. So many older kids are unwanted because it's the easy way out when you adopt a baby. Very few people adopt older kids. My dad had a friend who adopted three kids and they were brother and sisters. The youngest was a baby. The other two were older. It was great what they did and those kids seemed happy and problem free but how do I know that? They did have one one child they had of their own and then they adopted three more and I heard they adopted two more, twin babies. But it took them a few years to adopt them. They were foster parents for a while.

Trust me, I would love to adopt but it's the cost I can't afford. I guess they figure if you can't afford it, you can't afford a child which I think is BS. You can afford a child but you can't afford the adoption fee because of your income level. But here in Oregon adoption is free if it's done through foster care but I don't think I can handle a problem child. So if I were to take in a foster child and I decided to go for adoption, it's free.

^^^Lots of info in your post League_Girl. You are very rite about the gov assistance helping out when a woman gets pregnant. I think that system is completely f#cked-up. It's unfair that people wanting to adopt have to go true all kind of government red-tape when any welfare leech can get rewarded by having kids they can not provide for; look at what happened with the OctoMom

Sense I was very little my mom used to threaten to send me away to military school, juvi, put me up for adoption, or kick me out of the house. When we had an argument she would tell me how she couldn't wait till I would turn 18 & graduate because I would be out on the street & she'd be having a huge party. She never kicked me out & I'm still living here & we are getting along much better sense I graduated 9 years ago but she still makes comments sometimes about how she should not of have a kid. I've had lots of problems because of my AS & other issues that my family were not really aware of & no one understood. I know she does not really mean it but I've felt like an unwanted burden my whole life.
This is why I would rather adopt an older kid instead of having a baby. I can somewhat relate to not feeling loved & having problems/issues that people don't understand. I could seriously screw-up a baby but might could really help with an older kid. I don't think adopting a kid would be anything like The OC; it would probably be more like Problem Child I would probably never be a parent anyways & at this point in my life I don't want to be. I'm just typing with hypothetical situations thou rite now.




I support VHEMT
This may sound very cruel here but I wish people got fixed or something before they could have kids & when they wanted to have kids; they could get it reversed. If there was something like that; it would end the abortion contoversy. Most people(excluding some hard-core religious) like the idea of birth-control. Pro-choicers would like it because they would not be be getting pregnant unless they made the decision to have it reversed so they would still have a choice. & the pro-lifers would like it because it would not be taking a life.

I think that it would be kinda cool to have a kid. I think having a kid could be fun but I don't know that I would want the responsibilities of being a parent. I'm afraid that if I have a kid it will turn out to be a huge trouble maker like I have been my whole life. My ex girlfriend has 2 girls and that was enough for me. I don't think I would make a horrible parent but I also don't think I would be the best parent in the world. And kids are so damn expensive.

Usually now when I see children, if they are like toddlers, I just think two words "poor [********] meaning that I think the world is such a dreadful place for them to come in into.

Very true, I always come across this attitude. My parents in law are always banging on about getting grandkids and I have to stay quiet.

For me there are just too many negatives to having children. I'm not in a fit state of mind to look after a kid even if I didn't pass on the AS and have that to deal with on top. I'm too selfish, irresponsible and have too much snobbery to bring up a child unless I had the money to send it to private school, etc. and after the hell I went through growing up I wouldn't want any child to go through what I went through. I don't even like sharing things with my partner, no way I could put a child before myself. Plus I wouldn't trust myself not to physically harm a child in my care especially if suffering from post-natal depression - I don't have any sort of protective nurturing instincts like a lot of people seem to have towards children, I just see them as a reminder of all the little c***s I went to school with who made my childhood a living hell and I want to make them pay for it.

There are too many, in my opinion, like getting married, getting a bank loan...etc I'm sure everyone's had a go at making a decision or more without weighing the pros or cons.

As for having children. I was never having any of the annoying, energy sapping, attention needing little critters. Then, when I was aged 27, my first son was born, and then two more sons and finally a daughter.

All planned, except number one, who wasn't unplanned either. I just finally met someone who was easy going enough to put up with me and all my differences and thought...meh...if it happens, it happens. It did and there's no looking back.

My only regret is that now there are four people in this entire world that I would certainly die for and there's no end to the fear of losing them.

I know for sure that they are the meaning of my entire life. When one day, hopefully, I have grand children, my life will have turned full circle.

Great grandchildren would be a bonus.

My kids rock my world!

No interest at all in having children. So many reasons, I'd crash the website with the size of what I'd have to write.

I'm 43, and felt this way for all my adult life. I hate the thought of diapers, bottles, screaming at night, germs, bacteria, and and drool. And once that's all been tolerated for a few years, then comes the "NO" stage at age 2, then the "DADDY I WANT" stage, and fast-forward a decade or so, and all the dating and high school and...........

NO WAY by my own choice. Not unless my wife asks me to go through all that, in which case I'll consider it because I would be unhappy if I thought my stubbornness made her unhappy for life. We already have an adult dependent, which is partly by choice and partly by good samaritanism, and we have a house full of dogs with all kinds of handicaps and illnesses which we care for as if children of our own. Enough!

Charles

There more children born, the more taxpayers to pay for social security.

I would like to have children some day. I have a major caring instinct and I would love to be a mum someday.
To be there for someone, to have the privilege to raise an individual and see that same person grow and dream - it seems to me like a great honour.
I only hope I'll find the strength and stability to have one. n_n

That will only be true if these children being born can actually get jobs and contribute to social security. If social security even lasts that long

I think kids cost to much, and take up to much time, and cause to much stress and un needed energy. I agree on liking them, only very few of them, but I dont ever think I will have them. I can take care of myself just enough to stay alive. I think if I had kids protective services may take them away anyways. Not that I am a bad person, but my way of doing things probably arnt the way that others do things. I dont see it as right or wrong, just different. So I just tell my brothers to give me a lot of neices and nephews. I have one now hes 2 months old and I like playing with him but have the slightest idea of how to take care of him, at all.

I would like a baby, but it's a shame they grow into toddlers - that stage where they have temper tantrums. The screaming of them just goes right through my ears, and causes me ear infections.

Also, kids are always picking up tummy bugs, and I'd have to be the one to clear all the sick up, and then I'd be afraid I might catch it (I have severe Emetophobia).

O.o In my determining that I do not want any kids, it never even occurred to me that the hypothetical critters might turn out to be as sickly as I was. How unpleasant that would be.