iamnotaparakeet wrote:
What's actually wrong with wanting to be the "male breadwinner"? Is it so bad to wish to provide for one's wife and family?
Even with my communistic philosophy of economic sharing, the guy's likely to end up subsidising his pregnant wife, and if you have kids then there will be overheads. Nothing wrong with that. But equally, there's nothing wrong with not wishing to provide for somebody who is perfectly capable of pulling their own weight.
There is also a danger of the man becoming too powerful because of his major role in bringing money into the relationship - I think it's important that the woman doesn't feel she has to stay in a bad marriage just because of her economic dependence on Hubbie. That's bad for the guy as well as the woman - he's never going to know if she loves him for himself of for his money.....many relationships collapse when the guy loses his job, and although some of that is down to the obvious pressures of the situation, I think that sometimes it's the breadwinner faliure that causes the woman to lose respect for her man. I wouldn't want to stake a relationship on the fickleties of the jobs market.
But, if you can find a stable job you like that pays well, you might go that way and be happy enough. For me, it's practically a death sentence just to have to work for my own support, so the idea of subsidising others who don't have to suffer the misery of the workplace just seems completely unfair......in fact my worst ever phase of anxiety was when I was the sole breadwinner for my partner, her 3 kids, and my son. Sadly my employer started applying pressure at the worst possible time, when I felt unable to just pack it in. My wife showed me very little sympathy, and just applied further pressure on me in my hour of need. As far as she was concerned, I was just being a baby. I still haven't forgiven her.