Teenage girls and their rosy visions of family life...

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My first fiance proposed to me 16and he was 18. We had been together for 2 years at that stage and had just moved intogether. We didn't work out because he discovered his liking for men. I proposed to my ex husband when I was pregnant at 20. We had our own reasons for having children young. He was and is very financially stable. I see an upside to having kids young is that i will be free to enjoy my life by the time i am 40.

Yes i am a young single mother with a disability on social security pension. However i also have 2 disabled children and i am also studying full time at university.

I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with having your mother by your side instead of the father. a lot of men can't relate to childbirth and our mothers have done it before and may know how to deal with a situation like this better.

well I would say I was very young and vulnerable I had felt very unloved and unlovable my whole life, when I did end up meeting someone he was 10 years older than me, he gave me drugs, I had been in situations where I felt forced into things before that but he made me feel wonderful, he was the only person I ever enjoyed sex with.
we used no protection because he told me he was infertile and I believed him.
when I got pregnant he told me he would treat me like a princess and would never cheat on me had never cheated on anyone before, never been out with a young girl before, never hit a woman.
he knew how to make people like him, make them feel sorry for him.
as soon as It got to late for me to have an abortion he changed started calling me names, I had stopped everything, drugs, smoking, drinking coffee, as soon as I found out I was pregnant but he carried on he was out all the time, he yelled at me for no reason, I waited on him hand and foot when I was heavily pregnant trying to make him happy but he never was I just annoyed him, then when I had the baby he got crazy jealous and violent, he hurt me in front of our son told me he would kill me if I left him every day, one time he had a knife, and told me he was going to f**k up my face so nobody would ever love me, and that I wouldn't feel pain where I was going and I thought I was going to die, when my son was five months old I left and got a restraining order and he got sent to prison for racially aggravated assault for hitting someone with a bottle outside a pub I am very happy being a single mother, my son is a very welcome part of my family, he has two lovely uncles and a grandma that loves him and is the apple of my eye I have never been so happy, If I could go back in time I would probably tell myself to leave him as soon as I found I was pregnant and go through my pregnancy alone, It would have saved me a huge amount of heartache.
I hope to give him the good start in life I never had, He is a very happy little boy and if he has aspergers I know he will get an early diagnosis and I will teach him to fully accept himself for who he is, I don't think it matters if a family is traditional or not as long as there is lots of love.

I was the only girl in my group of friends that did not want to marry and have kids.

I'm also the only one who actually did so somewhat successfully.

Dear NaomiDB, Your message said exactly everything I believe about teen-agers being parents! Though you were/are capable of unselfish love for your child, some(many) are not, that's where the neglect comes into play...they just cannot handle the demands yet. In addition, you articulated the classic Jeckyl/Hyde abuser perfectly...a young girl cannot see signs that a woman his age may have recognized as a controlling, domineering personality. And I do know that women of all ages are fooled..I believe that the younger a girl is in a relationship or marriage,the more devastating that emotional pain is if it ends. Not being flippant, but 30-year-olds aren't attempting suicide over boyfriends or My Space. I honestly don't believe that adult responsibilities are for teen-agers, that's the young time, the 'me' time, the 'Who am I?' time. I also have worked in hospitals for over 20 years, and can't count the women who gave up their college/nursing school/ professional dreams due to an early marriage or pregnancy and thought loving their families totally, always regretted not waiting.

Sylkat