Good morning, afternoon, evening or night. (Please choose appropriately according to timezone)
This is the second in my seminars on how not to speak or write the English language. I have with me Bernard once again, aka TehL33tDethMstr...
"Hey, how come you're allowed to speak l33t and I'm not?"
(Slaps Bernard lightly about the head.)
Quiet, you. It was your other, l33t, name, which I intend to purge you of.
Anyway, today is transcription time. I will ask young Bernard here to transcribe this quote from Dante Aligheri's Inferno...
"Dante? Is this Devil May Cry?"
No. It does have a Vergil and a Trish (or Beatrice), but it's about a fellow going, literally, through hell with the poet Virgil's ghost.
"Hmm, sounds interesting, I think, but where's the monsters and the action?"
There are monsters aplenty, but Dante and Virgil get by with the grace of God.
"Boring...."
Normally, being an agnostic bordering on atheist, I'd agree. However, this is designed to make you think.
"I don't want to!"
If you don't think, and transcribe, big heavy f***ing book is on a collision course with your cranium!"
"AAaaaHH! oK, OK."
Alright. Transcribe the following:
But he, who was in conf'rence with my guide,
Turn'd rapid round, and thus the demon spake:
"Stay, stay thee, Scarmiglione!" ?Then to us
He added: "Further footing to your step
This rock affords not, shiver'd to the base
Of the sixth arch. ?But would you still proceed,
Up by this cavern go: not distant far,
Another rock will yield you passage safe.
Yesterday, later by five hours than now,
Twelve hundred threescore years and six had fill'd
The circuit of their course, since here the way
Was broken. ?Thitherward I straight dispatch
Certain of these my scouts, who shall espy
If any on the surface bask. ?With them
Go ye: for ye shall find them nothing fell.
Come Alichino forth," with that he cried,
"And Calcabrina, and Cagnazzo thou!
The troop of ten let Barbariccia lead.
With Libicocco Draghinazzo haste,
Fang'd Ciriatto, Grafflacane fierce,
And Farfarello, and mad Rubicant.
Search ye around the bubbling tar. ?For these,
In safety lead them, where the other crag
Uninterrupted traverses the dens."
I then: "O master! what a sight is there!
Ah! without escort, journey we alone,
Which, if thou know the way, I covet not.
Unless thy prudence fail thee, dost not mark
How they do gnarl upon us, and their scowl
Threatens us present tortures?" ?He replied:
"I charge thee fear not: let them, as they will,
Gnarl on: 't is but in token of their spite
Against the souls, who mourn in torment steep'd."
To leftward o'er the pier they turn'd; but each
Had first between his teeth prest close the tongue,
Toward their leader for a signal looking,
Which he with sound obscene triumphant gave.
I do not mind if it is transcribed into modern English, with no verse.
(15 minutes pass)
Well, Bernard...?
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Did I do alright?"
.......
Please excuse me a moment.
(Sounds of censored violence, involving a large container of sulfuric acid, an enema tube, Senekot, and 1.5 metres of copper wiring.)
Here endeth the lesson. Let's hope that Bernard here will learn not to mangle Dante Aligheri. Until next time....
"Uuhhhh, why is my spleen out here...?"
((The first Dante version was one of the older ones. The second, that was l33t-mutilated, was from the Princeton Uni site here: http://etcweb.princeton.edu/dante/pdp/. It took ages to copy and paste every line into a l33t translator, but it was worth it for the humour.))
_________________
(No longer a mod)
On sabbatical...
13 Mar 2007, 5:55 pm
