Surnames That You Would Rather Not Have.

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I once read a comic strip where a boss tells asks his new employee his name, and he answers "Edgar". The boss tells him he never uses last names because it's not businesslike. The boss asks what his first name is and the employee answers "Darling". The boss then says, "Get me a cup of coffee, Edgar."

In Peter Pan, Wendy's family name is also Darling. Even as a kid I thought that must have been awkward at times.

I almost don't want to find out, but I don't get it.

...

When I was in school, there was someone in my class named Crystal Ball.

Well of course. You're an American as am I. It took me a while to find out too. "a***hole coaches". Here in America the word is "as*hole".

Oh, lol. Yeah, okay. xddd

my GF's friend has a rather ethnic last name that, to the uninitiated, looks like it would sound like "caulk".

it doesn't, but being in high school with dirty minded goons probably doesn't help her with that.

You have to keep in mind that this site is majority American.

But yes: In the UK you wisely have the seperate word "arse" for "the posterior of the human anatomy, or the orafice there in" to avoid confusion. We Americans use the word "ass" for both that, and for other unoffensive meaning: "donkey" which causes endless confusion.

In fact I recently had a conversation about it here on WP.

Someone posted a sentence that contained the epithet "jackass", but they cenorsed it thus:"jack***". Almost fell off my chair laughing at the unnecessary censorship! Had to explain to this fellow American person that "when you put 'jack' in front of 'ass' it makes the word mean 'male donkey', so you don't need to censor it!".

Hitler

Stalin

Bieber

Cyrus

Seaman

Crapper

Gay

Obama

Trump

Justice

Bush

Schmuck

Pounder

Grabber

Smoker

I was watching an episode of an old UK police drama called The Bill recently, and in the closing credits one of the production staff was named as Ruth Moth. A strange surname rather than an undesirable one, but I'm always fascinated as to the origin of such things.

s**thead (pronounced shi-theed)

Cummings. never mind that it was the last name of a famous poet and his house is a historical icon, people these days know nothing about him and will snicker every time they hear it.

^i know about ee cummings. i always liked how he signed his name in lowercase. i am a fan of lowercase, if it wasn't already obvious.

there was a teacher who taught next to mine in kindergarten who was named cummings. my most vibrant memory of her was when she dyed her foot green on st. patrick's day.

i suppose she is just grateful she didn't teach middle schoolers.

what's wrong with justice? sounds like a righteous surname to be born with.

In "Beavis and Butthead do America" in the donkey scene they said "the poop's coming out of the ass of the ass". Historically there were two separate words "ass" for "donkey" and "arse" for "buttocks". Loss of the "r" in "arse" produced "ass" which Americans use whereas Britons retain the older form "arse". A similar thing happened that produced "cuss", another way to say "curse".

I had a boss a couple years ago with the surname Wieners. Last year or so, it somehow came up when I was joking around with my friend, and she said, "hey, let's see if he's on Facebook!" and looked him up. We found him, and apparently, his wife took his surname, which also got bestowed on their kids. We kept saying, "why would you do that?!"

Schicklgruber.

"Wien" is just the way folks in the city of Vienna Austria say the same of their town in their native German.

The common German American surname "Wiener" just means that your ancestors came from Vienna (pretty classy place to have ancestors from). Aint nothin' wrong with it.

German speaking immigrants brought their sausage making abilities with them to America- like how to make Franfurt style sausages, and how to make Vienna style sausages. And around 1900 Frankfurters, and Wieners, evolved into the American "hot dog" which happens to have a phallic look when sitting inside of buns- hense the American playground slang for the male member. Unfortunate for folks named "Wiener", but I dont fault them for preserving the family name.

"jackass" which means "male donkey" does get censored much like "b***h" which means "female dog" gets censored.