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NaturalEntity
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18 Mar 2021, 3:05 pm

madbutnotmad wrote:
In the UK though, people are very conservative when it comes to emotions. Especially men, who bottle things up instead, and then end up exploding or topping themselves cause they haven't an avenue to express themselves.

Not healthy in my opinion.
My ego isn't too big that I can't be open about these things.

Interesting. I wasn't aware of our conservative views regarding emotions. Then again, I was born female. Perhaps that's why I never really felt its influence.


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18 Mar 2021, 6:08 pm

The Queen has to maintain a stiff upper lip but most 'common' women are allowed to show a little bit of emotion.

Too much and historically it's considered 'hysteria' though.

It's traditionally uncommon for a man to show any of that emotion unless in anger.

It's a shame.

Deep emotions are just part of life.

If one of the Corgis died (I know they're all dead now) and the queen was photographed crying the way mum cried when her favourite cat died, it would be considered 'unseemly'.


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funeralxempire
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18 Mar 2021, 6:49 pm

KT67 wrote:
The Queen has to maintain a stiff upper lip but most 'common' women are allowed to show a little bit of emotion.

Too much and historically it's considered 'hysteria' though.

It's traditionally uncommon for a man to show any of that emotion unless in anger.

It's a shame.

Deep emotions are just part of life.

If one of the Corgis died (I know they're all dead now) and the queen was photographed crying the way mum cried when her favourite cat died, it would be considered 'unseemly'.


She'd probably feel ashamed even if it was the most humanizing, sympathetic picture ever taken. I think that old stiff upper lip mindset makes people prefer a stress induced nosebleed over showing even a fraction of normal human emotion.



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18 Mar 2021, 7:27 pm

All genders should not constantly give in to emotions, that is a prescription for disaster. On the other hand, one can not be in denial about them and never release them that is a prescription for mental and physical illness. Figuring out when and how to release them is the bane of adult life.


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18 Mar 2021, 8:11 pm

Both extremes can be a sign of mental illness.

One will be something leading to it or fear of showing emotion. That isn't healthy.

The other is a sign one is out of control and feels strong emotion. Strong sadness, anger or fear (negative emotions) can be part of mental illness.

Even in some cases, positive emotions can be. It is one thing to 'believe I can fly' metaphorically. It is quite another to literally think that and test it from a high window...

One thing is though: please learn not to translate every negative emotion into anger. Sit with sorrow. I find this hard myself: I'd even rather be angry with an inanimate object than sad. As a kid, I used to punch doors that slammed into me - ironically hurting myself more - because I personified them in my rage.


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19 Mar 2021, 5:25 am

Historically, and even these days, especially in old fashioned cultures and communities, men weren't allowed to show weakness, like crying or being sad, and women were supposed to be pleasant and helpful, thus not allowed to show anger and hate. Both are wrong; men should be allowed to cry and be sad out in the open just as much as women, and women should be allowed to show their anger and hate just as much as men.



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19 Mar 2021, 8:18 am

KT67 wrote:
Both extremes can be a sign of mental illness.

One will be something leading to it or fear of showing emotion. That isn't healthy.

The other is a sign one is out of control and feels strong emotion. Strong sadness, anger or fear (negative emotions) can be part of mental illness.

Even in some cases, positive emotions can be. It is one thing to 'believe I can fly' metaphorically. It is quite another to literally think that and test it from a high window...

One thing is though: please learn not to translate every negative emotion into anger. Sit with sorrow. I find this hard myself: I'd even rather be angry with an inanimate object than sad. As a kid, I used to punch doors that slammed into me - ironically hurting myself more - because I personified them in my rage.


Anger as with all emotions can be used constructively. Probably most progress has been made in this way.


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KT67
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19 Mar 2021, 7:21 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Anger as with all emotions can be used constructively. Probably most progress has been made in this way.


I'm talking about someone who cannot express sorrow or shame.

Having all emotions inside oneself, felt when the situation arises is healthiest.

Translating every single negative emotion to a single one in order to be more macho or just more adult in general (less of a 'cry baby') is unhealthy and destructive.

Translating every single anger into shame, guilt or sadness in order to either be a lady or just a so called 'good person' (moral pump) is unhealthy and self-destructive.

Ignoring all emotions or pretending to be happy all the time is unhealthy and will eventually lead to passive aggression.

Knowing which emotion is which is also a sign of good mental health. As is knowing how to express the more negative ones so that they don't become dangerous to oneself or others.


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madbutnotmad
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19 Mar 2021, 7:58 pm

should woman, woman up? (oh that's so sexist)

should kids.. .kid up? (that's so kid-ist)

should dogs, dog up? (that's so dog-ist)



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19 Mar 2021, 8:08 pm

Fireblossom wrote:
Historically, and even these days, especially in old fashioned cultures and communities, men weren't allowed to show weakness, like crying or being sad, and women were supposed to be pleasant and helpful, thus not allowed to show anger and hate. Both are wrong; men should be allowed to cry and be sad out in the open just as much as women, and women should be allowed to show their anger and hate just as much as men.

Historically ... depending on which culture and how far back you go. For example, in the Epic of Gilgamesh, the mighty king Gilgamesh had no qualms about mourning the death of Enkidu. His lamentations fill the entirety of tablet 8 and the beginning of tablet 9 (out of a total of 11 tablets).


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19 Mar 2021, 8:33 pm

Sadness and despair need to be expressed but Anger and violence might need to be moderated if possible, or worked out in manners that don’t physically harm oneself or hopefully not harm others . In my own opinion.
Crying can be very much a release for everyone. And I feel people deserve consolation in these hard times .
Would help from building up emotional pressure . And possibly creating more negative outlets .


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